Just Because I Am a Girl

When I was a little girl growing up in a small Ukrainian country town, there sure wasn't much to do, but get into some kind of trouble. It was more interesting, more exciting than baking in the kitchen with your old Grandmother.

I can remember the best times I had in a little country town called Two Hills. There weren't too many girls out there that enjoyed getting dirty or doing the fun things that the boys liked to do, but for the very few of us that did, we would have the best times of our young adolescent lives. Dirt biking, building forts out in the bush, biking through the trails that led all the way around the little country town.

But the best times I had was spending time with my Grandfather, I used to call him Gido, which is Grandfather in Ukrainian. I had the best times learning things like how to change the oil in the vehicles, and the proper way to mow the grass; did you know that going the length, was so much better than doing it in strips, up and down? Neither did I Until my Gido had explained that the moisture doesn't stay properly and runs out when you make strips, that when it's the horizontal way that the moisture stays in the grass better. Makes sense right?

I learned that sawing wood should be done at an angle, gives the teeth of the saw a better grip at chewing through the wood and goes much faster, plus you use less elbow grease. I also got to watch my Gido rebuild motors, and take apart things that should have went to the garbage, but instead, he would fix anything. It was amazing what that old man could do. I got to see and experience a lot of really neat things, sometimes really challenging, but cool. I always thought that he would always be around, and no matter what, he'd always be there. Kids hey?

Well, my Gido would also tell me that I should act like a girl, and not do so much boy things, I wasn't a boy. I knew that I wasn't into playing with dolls or putting on make-up or getting all dressed up to role play. Who wants to do silly things like that? Girls do, and there was no way I was going to act like that, even though that's what I was, a girl. So, no matter how many times my Gido would tell me to act like a girl, I didn't. I wanted to learn everything that he could do, I wanted to build things, repair things, not have to count on someone else to do it for me, or pay someone to do it and rip me off because I am a girl. That's so true, and guys think still to this day, that some of us girls are that featherbrained, and just don't have a clue that we're getting ripped off.

My Gido would spend hours with me outside after work, I just didn't enjoy being in the house with my Grandmother or I would say, Baba in Ukrainian. No matter what I did or what I achieved, she was never impressed, always would tell me that I could do better, or she would make that funny noise, like a hm-mm, in other words, good for you, but I am not impressed. That's what I would get from her, so I never wanted to be in the house, plus she was just not a nice person towards me, she was very abusive, and just plain out mean.

I waited for my Gido instead of always being put down or just made to feel like crap, way better of a feeling. I would wait for him and wait, and sometimes he'd come home late, due to something going wrong at the plant. He was an Engineer and worked at the Environmental Centre in Vegreville, which was about a thirty-minute drive one way from Two Hills, but he drove it for thirty-some years. Well, one day I couldn't handle the waiting, and I wanted to find something to do in the shop, but the shop was always locked. My Gido would tell me to stay out of the shop when he wasn't home just in case I was to get hurt. There were all kinds of hurt in that shop. Things that could really do a lot of damage to someone if they weren't sure how to work it properly, and it just wasn't somewhere to play. So, I knew the repercussions of what would happen if I was caught in the shop, but what if I wasn't caught?

I got the bonehead idea to sneak in the house, grab the keys that were always hanging on the key rack which hung in the porch by the front door. I made sure my Baba wasn't in the kitchen at that moment, and I grabbed them from the rack very quietly, so that they didn't make that clanging noise, and I booked it back outside.

Ran up to the shop door, unlocked it, and snuck inside really quickly, didn't want to get caught going inside. I just felt rebellious that day, I should have thought over the plan, and not get caught in such a stupid way.

I was a young kid, and I was somewhere I shouldn't have been alone, and nobody knew that I was even in there. The things that I could do, but shouldn't where to start first I thought to myself? Well, it wouldn't matter what I did, just don't get hurt I thought. I went through all of my Gido's workbench drawers, looking around for nothing, found some really cool thingamajigs, not sure what they were, they just looked really cool. Then it came over me, the best idea ever, I was going to be awesome if I remembered how my Gido did it, make sure to get it right I thought to myself, don't mess it up.

I gathered up most of my Gido's metal tools, lined them up on his wooden workbench and got ready to weld. I walked over to his welding machine, turned the knobs so that it made that humming noise, and found his welding rods, grabbed my Gido's welding helmet; had to adjust it to fit my head, couldn't weld without it, and found his welding gloves and started to weld together my Gido's metal tools. I didn't think about getting caught, or that my Gido will definitely know that I was in the shop, I just thought about doing the welds like my Gido, making sure the welding puddles were perfect, keeping a steady hand while I welded his metal tools together. It took me about an hour, and I wasn't caught, not yet anyway.

I finished up, turned everything off, put everything back where it was, double-checked my welding after it cooled a bit, and left the shop. Locked the door behind me and went inside to grab a snack and wait for my Gido.

I helped my Baba with dinner by setting the table and making kool-aid to have alongside dinner. It was my favorite, and my Gido's. He made the best kool-aid, I always seemed to make it too sweet, or not enough and then it was sour, but definitely not sweet.

I was so proud of myself, after doing the welding in the shop, I thought it was pretty good, for a 10-year-old to do, I didn't think I was going to be in trouble, maybe he'd be impressed with me and didn't bug me about acting like a girl. I wanted to be the better daughter, I wanted to make those old people feel really good with my accomplishments or achievements. I didn't want to be left out.

My Baba and I sat at the kitchen table, we waited for a bit longer for Gido to come home, then we heard his vehicle pull up into the driveway, listening for the vehicle door to shut, and then his boots climbing up the deck stairs, walking towards the front door, and there he was finally. I wanted to tell him, but I was so hungry and I didn't want my Baba to find out, she would beat me more than my Gido would. He never gave me a spank, he would scold me, but never hit me, not like my Baba.

We all ate dinner, I helped clean off the kitchen when we all finished up eating the awesome dinner that my Baba prepared; usually a six-course meal. We're Ukrainian, so we ate like that all of our lives. I still do actually, and I still haven't gained that much weight. But I helped clean up the table, put the dishes in the sink, helped dry the dishes while my Baba washed them, and my Gido went to sit down in his lazy-boy chair to relax before going to the shop for a bit before bedtime.

I was busy doing something when my Gido went outside, and I didn't even notice him gone. But I sure heard him stomping back to the house when he went out to the shop. He came storming into the house, yelling my name, and not in a nice way. I was a bit nervous, but I wanted to see what he thought even though I wasn't supposed to touch anything, or even be in the shop without my Gido. I had to know what he really thought about my welds, they were perfect, almost just like my Gido's welds. Not as clean, but they sure were really good for a 10-year-old kid without the experience. He wasn't very happy, I got yelled at for at least 20 minutes straight, and then my Baba came at me, yelling at me, making me cry, I felt terrible. I wanted him to be proud of me, not to hate me. He could never hate me, but he was really mad. When they yelled in Ukrainian, it wasn't very good. You were in big trouble then, and it was best not to open your mouth at all. If you opened it, be prepared to get it smacked.

I took the yelling, and the growling, and more yelling, and I said my sorries, about 100 times over, but no matter, I did it, I was in the wrong. I was told to go to my room and to stay there for the night. I did just that. I was worried, I didn't want to get a beating, so I stayed quiet in my room, reading.

I could hear my Gido hammering in the shop, trying to break apart the welded tools. It took him hours to break them all apart, and when he finally came into the house, I heard him washing up since the bathroom was right against my bedroom wall. Then my bedroom door opened and he came inside. What was shocking to me was that he was smiling, and smirking while walking into my room. He sat on my bed, shaking his head, and then he says to me, " I really must say, those were some tight welds, and how did you know to turn that big machine on? I am so angry with you, but so very impressed at the same time." He then smirked again and told me to stay out of the shop next time. He was too old to be hammering like that for that long on something like those welds. I agreed. I didn't want anything to happen to him, he was my Gido, and I loved him to death.

With that on my mind throughout my childhood, that he was so impressed with my welds, that later on in life, when I was in my early thirties, I went to trading school and took up welding, I received my basic welding and pipe fitting diploma, and worked up north in Alberta and North West Territories, also in British Columbia as an Apprentice Welding for a few years.

When I was accepted into the program, the first person I told was my Gido and Baba, and of course I got the whole lay down of how silly that was to try for it, I was a girl and big men have a hard time doing that kind of work, I wasn't thinking straight, all kinds of putting my dreams down. I took it all, I didn't care, I was going to prove them both wrong, I was going to complete it and be a success and prove to myself that I can do anything I wanted as long as I put my mind to it, as well as my heart. I wasn't going to take being a girl and wanting to do that type of work laying down. I was going to be like a " STAR. "

I received my diploma on October 30. 2011. I went through so many challenges, so many skeptics telling me that I couldn't do it, that I didn't have a clue what a welder does, and because I am a girl, and I shouldn't be doing a man's job. I proved everyone wrong, I got that diploma, I succeeded, I made it all the way to the end. I am amazing, stubborn, but amazing too. I stuck to my guns, worked hard, didn't listen to anyone saying what they all did.

I felt like a million bucks that day, and I still do for what I accomplished. I did it all by myself, and I didn't have the support that I wanted, but later on, throughout my work experience, I got the respect I deserved. It makes me proud still to this day. How could it not? I earned it.