For The Experience

Submitted into Contest #233 in response to: Set your story in a bar that doesn’t serve alcohol.... view prompt

39 comments

Contemporary Friendship Happy

Tom Davies stepped into the Harp and Hound Recopub, and was immediately struck by the bluesy bass rambling from a jukebox, accented by the staccato pops of a cue sending pool balls scrambling. The lighting was mute and dusky, even though it was noon; a perfect complement to the wooden floor, and walls draped with team colours. And a waft of deep fried bliss followed a passing waitress.

Well, he thought. I wanted a bar, and you can’t get more barsy than this.

And anyway, any dive was good enough refuge from Nicole.

He approached a barstool and then nearly slipped off it when he saw the bartender. Gangly, pimple-faced, do-it-yourself haircut – the kid looked like, well, a kid.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked.

Tom started with “Are you–” and ended with a cough, before he blurted out “allowed to be in here.” He cleared his throat. “Is this a family business?”

Maybe it was take your kid to work day.

“Nope. Sole proprietor.” The bartender smiled. “Opened the place right after school.”

Jesus, thought Tom. Fresh out of high school and already running a bar? The weight of his own job, a temporary bathroom fixtures sales gig that was gradually stretching the definition of “temporary” into “career”, lodged itself in his throat.

“Got my master’s and said enough of that.”

Fresh out of university then. Bit better.

“So what’ll you have?”

Right, the whole point of his trip: to drown his worries. To drown Nicole.

Tom frowned. That wasn’t a good metaphor at all.

“I’ll have a pint of lager.”

The bartender poured an extremely faint beer without any head and slid it over.

“That’ll be eight-fifty.”

Tom paid with a ten, begrudgingly remembering when a pint cost you half that. Then he took a big gulp and realized he was drinking water.

“Dude, what the hell, man? This is water!”

“Yup,” said the bartender, without batting an eye. “As are all our beers. Our liquors too.”

Tom blinked. “Dude,” he said, uncertainly. The guy had just admitted to selling him a glass of water for eight-fifty, like it was a normal thing to do. He finished with a whisper, “What the hell, man?”

“We’re a recopub.”

Recreation O’Pub? thought Tom. What the hell is a recopub?

“A recovery pub: a pub for recovering alcoholics.”

Tom looked around the pub, at all the other patrons. People chatting, people laughing, people playing pool and watching the game and relaxing. And all of them, drinking water. Whether from beer steins or martini glasses, champagne flutes or brandy snifters, highball glasses or shots, it was all water. One guy even had a yard filled to the brim with the clear stuff.

“But,” stammered Tom. He glanced at his own glass. “I don’t – isn’t this a terrible idea?”

“Well, the principle was, we’d associate all the positive things drinkers like about drinking – the socializing primarily, pub games, live music on Fridays – with a non-alcoholic context. Water is a substitute for the somatic components. That is, the physical act of drinking. By itself it wouldn’t be enough, but with all the other parts, the hope was we’d rewire the reward circuits in the brain that sought out the drink.”

“Does it work?”

The bartender shrugged. “It was going to be the topic of my PhD, only it turned out trying to get funding is soul crushing, and the prospect of risking a decade of my life on a maybe gave me ulcers. So instead I opened a bar. And I got customers, so…” He looked thoughtfully at the jukebox. “I got into school to help people, but it wasn’t what I expected.”

Tom glanced at his pint. “Dude, you charged me eight-fifty for a glass of water! I want my money back.”

“Can’t do it. See, I didn’t actually sell you water. I sold you the experience. We feel it is critical to remind our patrons of the price of booze – both in terms of health, and to the bottom line.”

“That’s bull.”

The bartender shrugged again. “Can I interest you in experiencing some water from a bottle of thirty year old Macallan scotch?” He reached up and presented the top-shelf bottle, filled with clear liquid. “Only thirty bucks a shot.”

Tom blew a raspberry. “What a ridiculous – I’m not here for any experience. I’m not some stinking drunk–” Then he grew real quiet and looked over his shoulder, but none of the other patrons seemed to have heard him. “I don’t have a drinking problem,” he finished.

“You sure? You did go to a bar at noon, after all.”

“No I – that’s not what this is! I just needed to…” Tom took a deep breath.

“To get out of the house for a bit?” asked the bartender.

Tom nodded.

The bartender uncorked the bottle and poured a shot. “Here. It’s on the house.”

“Thanks,” said Tom. He tossed back the shot without a second thought, and only then remembered that the whisky was actually water. “Damn it.”

“So what’s on your mind?”

“Sharing my troubles with a bartender? Isn’t that like the world’s oldest cliché?”

“Okay, then don’t think of me as a bartender. Think of me as a psychology almost-was.”

“That seems worse.”

“Fair.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you’re a customer. Oh! How about that. I’m doing market research on my customers. Think of me as a capitalist.”

“Bartender it is.” Tom took another sip of his pint. Was he really going to confide in some stranger? Especially some kid this young? And obnoxious? And so very, impressively, intimidatingly accomplished for his age. Well, what’s the worst that would happen? It’s not like they’d ever see each other again.

“So there’s this girl,” Tom began. “Nicole. She’s my–” He cleared his throat. “Girlfriend, I guess. Yeah.”

“Go on,” said the bartender. “You don’t get along? You want out?”

“Oh, no, not at all. I love her.” It just slipped out, but Tom realized it was true. “I love her.”

“But?”

“But… things are just moving very quickly. We moved in together six months ago – and like, I never really did that before, but I was fine with it. Only, it was a clear sign things were serious.”

“And living together isn’t working out?”

“It’s well enough, I guess. I’ve definitely had worse roommates. Only, like, a few weeks after that, we went and bought a new sofa.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. And then a couple weeks after that, we went shopping for a washer and dryer.”

“Okay.”

“Because the old ones broke. And then–” Tom took another sip “–three months ago, we pulled the trigger and got a dog. And that’s what we called it: Trigger!”

“Right,” said the bartender, his hand fidgeting on the bar. “And?”

“And now she keeps hinting about us going to the next level! And what the hell is that? Are we talking married? Are we talking kids? Twins? Triplets!? Are we getting a cat too, and moving to the suburbs? And buying a van? And soccer practice and ballet and football and swimming and – I don’t know – ping pong probably.”

Tom downed the rest of his pint and wiped his lips on his sleeve. The bartender topped up his glass.

“So you don’t see a future with Nicole?”

Tom’s arms dropped. “I… I don’t know. I love her. I love the idea of being with her. But everything seems to be moving so fast. A year ago I was bar hopping and going on road trips and I still kind of had a shot at being an astronaut – maybe – but this year I noticed a grey hair in my beard, and just this weekend my knee hurt from standing up. And there’s Nicole all chipper and like, ‘Next level! Next level!’ And I don’t know where she finds the energy.” He buried his face in his hands and released a frustrated growl, and then took a long steadying breath. Afterwards, he began on the second pint.

“So let me get this straight,” said the bartender. “You’re getting older and realizing you can’t fulfill your childhood dreams, and you’ve got commitment issues to boot. And you call me a cliché?”

“Not helpful.”

“Sorry. Listen, it’s normal to get overwhelmed by this stuff, and not everybody is comfortable moving at the same pace. Have you tried just talking to Nicole about this?”

Tom stared at the bartender for a moment, drumming his fingers on the bar. “You really think that would work?”

The bartender shrugged. “I think if it doesn’t work, then you might have an answer about your future with Nicole. But you said you love her?”

“Yeah.”

“And you trust her?”

“Yeah.”

The bartender shrugged again, as though the answer was obvious.

“Thanks,” said Tom. He felt light, much lighter than he’d felt in months. “I think you’re onto something.” He finished the second pint, and set the glass down with a whump. “I’m going to do it! We’ll talk and figure this out together. You know, you’re pretty wise for your age.”

“Uh, thanks?”

Tom grinned, feeling the elation growing. He slid off the barstool, looking forward to what the future held, focusing on the open windows and not the closed doors. So what if he lost some old dreams, when he could build a new dream with Nicole? It was time to move forward.

The bartender tapped the pint glass.

“That’ll be eight-fifty.”

Tom dropped another ten, and then left with a wave.

January 17, 2024 21:56

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39 comments

Jack Kimball
05:25 Jan 19, 2024

Hey. What's wrong with selling bathroom fixtures? Now selling USED bathroom fixtures, that might be discouraging. But then, don’t think of me as a psychology almost-was. Think of me as a Reedsy critique.” “That seems worse.” “Fair.” And why does this all have to hit so close to home? As in... ‘Next level! Next level!’ And I don’t know where she finds the energy.” Jack

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Michał Przywara
21:37 Jan 19, 2024

Heh :) Nothing wrong with sales at all :) Maybe it just chafes a bit if you always wanted to be a astronaut though. Thanks for reading, Jack!

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Jack Kimball
00:35 Jan 20, 2024

You bet.

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15:07 Jan 18, 2024

Michal, I loved this. In fact I wish it was a “real thing” (maybe it is) As someone who doesn’t drink, this bar would be so much fun for me 😆 But I think you make a very pointed statement here. Does the alcohol actually add to the experience? Or could people work through their problems and enjoy themselves over a pint of water? Well done! 👏👏👏

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Michał Przywara
21:39 Jan 18, 2024

I have no idea if this kind of thing would work as an actual intervention, but I'm pretty sure there'd be customers regardless :) There's probably no easy answer though. After all, alcohol isn't a problem until it's a problem, and then it's a big one. I wonder if the recent surge in popularity for dealcoholized beer is indicative of something bigger. Anyway, thanks for reading, Hannah! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Bob Long Jr
17:01 Jan 21, 2024

The NA is getting better for sure. I thought about this and there is absolutely something psychological going on when having an adult beverage vs a mocktail or an NA. It's very mysterious .. could just be the prospect of getting a buzz .

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Michał Przywara
21:42 Jan 22, 2024

No doubt the prospect of a buzz appeals to many. There's also a lot of culture around drinking, so maybe there's a sense of belonging to the tradition? Or it's so tightly associated to recreational time that a drink is a sign we're off the clock - and who doesn't like that? Probably many reasons.

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Alexis Araneta
06:05 Jan 18, 2024

And yet another creative concept from you! I could almost picture the whole scene. I do hope Tom and Nicole work out something. But if Nicole insists on going fast, well, time for Tom to leave, I guess. Amazing job, as usual.

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Michał Przywara
21:44 Jan 18, 2024

I sometimes get the sense that the vast majority of problems in the world are communication problems - whether that's in a relationship, a business deal, or international politics. Curiously, communication also seems to be the solution for those problems :) Thanks for reading, Stella!

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Ty Warmbrodt
03:05 Jan 18, 2024

Clever. You made it sound realistic and titled it perfectly. Another good one!

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Michał Przywara
21:38 Jan 18, 2024

Thanks, Ty! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Mary Bendickson
03:04 Jan 18, 2024

Excellent idea. Kid is quite an entrepreneur.

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Michał Przywara
21:41 Jan 19, 2024

Yeah, definitely! It's crazy some of the business ideas that work out. Thanks for giving it a read, Mary :)

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Michelle Oliver
02:18 Jan 18, 2024

As usual, this is great. A sober pub, what a concept. Much cheaper than therapy, without the mind numbing effects of booze. You managed to make the absurdness of a non alcoholic pub quite believable, and even probable. Your “psychology almost-was” bartender was cleverly portrayed. Just enough sas, a little bit cocky, and smarter in life smarts than his appearance would suggest. A complete story with good pacing and a narrative arc that feels wholesome and complete. Well done

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Michał Przywara
21:42 Jan 18, 2024

Thanks, Michelle! I had a rough time with the prompts this week. Lots of loose concepts, lots of things started but not going anywhere - even this one needed me to kill a handful of darlings. Ultimately I figured, why not angle for lesser used tags, and go for happy? Glad it worked out :)

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Trudy Jas
00:07 Jan 18, 2024

Ah, yes. Bartenders are cheaper than psychiatrists, aren't they? Though I've helped a few bartenders in my life. (snigger, snigger) Had the idea of going with a dream/nightmare of sudden prohibition, DT's. job loss, etc. But couldn't quite make it to even 1K words.

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Michał Przywara
21:40 Jan 18, 2024

Yeah, I struggled with the prompts this week too. Lots of premises and starts, no finishes though, until this story. Bartenders are definitely cheaper, but maybe you get what you pay for :) Still, I guess sometimes we just need to bounce ideas off someone to clarify our own thoughts. Thanks for reading, Trudy!

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Trudy Jas
23:08 Jan 18, 2024

:-) I've known my share (and some other people's shares) of both bartenders and psychiatrists. The difference? Bartenders know they can still learn something. Did you try my take on this week's prompts? s

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Michał Przywara
21:38 Jan 19, 2024

Yeah, just gave it a read :)

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Marty B
01:06 Feb 13, 2024

'...and I still kind of had a shot at being an astronaut...' Man! That hit home. Me too! ;) I liked this line- “Oh, no, not at all. I love her.” It just slipped out, but Tom realized it was true. “I love her.” sometimes the answer to life's problem do come at the bottom of a bottle Thanks! “But?”

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Michał Przywara
21:40 Feb 13, 2024

Thanks, Marty! If we dramatically change what the word astronaut means, I too could still be one :)

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Kate Winchester
17:17 Jan 25, 2024

Your story feels so real! I think it’s a great concept for real like. Especially, when you have bartenders as “counselors.” Lol. Loved your story!

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Michał Przywara
21:38 Jan 25, 2024

Thanks, Kate! Glad it felt believable - I appreciate the feedback!

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Kate Winchester
22:58 Jan 25, 2024

Welcome 🤗

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Jaymi McClusky
18:44 Jan 23, 2024

Cute story! Nice take on the prompt. I like that he keeps getting suckered into buying more water after he knows it’s water!

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Michał Przywara
21:43 Jan 24, 2024

Thanks, Jaymi! Heh, I think the bartender knows his business :) I'm glad you enjoyed it - I appreciate the feedback!

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Christy Morgan
14:53 Jan 22, 2024

I literally laughed out loud with this line, Michael: Right, the whole point of his trip: to drown his worries. To drown Nicole. Great story in how he comes to the conclusions by way of the experience...enjoyed the read immensely!

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Michał Przywara
21:44 Jan 23, 2024

Thanks, Christy! Yeah, sometimes you just need to hash a problem out with a fresh perspective. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Bob Long Jr
16:55 Jan 21, 2024

Great story Michal .. got a little side glance from the coffee shop patron beside me from the laughing out loud. I have my time at the bar .. not really the dive type .. so I can appreciate this outstanding story in a big way. Good stuff

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Michał Przywara
21:43 Jan 22, 2024

Thanks, Bob! Always happy to hear about a laugh :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Chris Campbell
15:43 Jan 21, 2024

Having worked as a bartender some many years ago, I can attest to being part counsellor to those with life issues needing a comforting ear. However, alcohol was always the thing that loosened lips and exposed people's problems to the point of causing the bar to turn into open forums of woeful tales. I like your idea of a bar for alcoholics that serves nothing but expensive water. Anyone kicking off in that bar can only look forward to remembering it the next day. No excuses. We complain about the price of alcohol rising, but some brands of...

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Michał Przywara
21:45 Jan 22, 2024

Too right about the price of “designer water”. I just hope it stays that way, and all the speculative tales of the looming water wars remain fiction. Thanks for reading, Chris! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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James Lane
01:46 Jan 21, 2024

I would post something insightful but I am busy writing a business plan for this extremely profitable idea *I* just had. Was silly that Tom still held on to being an astronaut for so long. I'll write a song about it when my band becomes famous. Thanks for sharing!

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Michał Przywara
21:47 Jan 22, 2024

Ha :) There's gotta be something comfortable about having a dream that was never pursued. Yeah, on the one hand you never realized it and succeeded, but on the other, you never tried and failed. Thanks for reading, James!

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Kailani B.
23:56 Jan 19, 2024

Communication is the most basic thing ever and yet it seems to be at the root of so many problems (looking at you, romcoms). Glad Tom got the answer he needed, though. For a moment I thought Tom was drinking white grape juice, and then the scotch could be apple juice, and Bloody Mary's were actual tomato soup. I'd go to a bar like that :) And hey, don't disrespect ping pong. It's a very legitimate...sport. Probably. Maybe. Don't quote me on that. Thanks for the story!

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Michał Przywara
21:48 Jan 22, 2024

That's not a bad idea with the grape juices, etc. I've been seeing a lot of dealcoholized beers and wines showing up, and a virgin Bloody Mary has been on menus for a long time, so maybe that's not so far from realistic. Of course, the margins are better on selling water :) I appreciate the feedback, Kailani!

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Unknown User
10:09 Jan 22, 2024

<removed by user>

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Michał Przywara
21:41 Jan 22, 2024

Thanks, Dustin! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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15:07 Jan 18, 2024

Michal, I loved this. In fact I wish it was a “real thing” (maybe it is) As someone who doesn’t drink, this bar would be so much fun for me 😆 But I think you make a very pointed statement here. Does the alcohol actually add to the experience? Or could people work through their problems and enjoy themselves over a pint of water? Well done! 👏👏👏

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