One Equals Two

Mommy,mommy,mommy,I want to go outside now! You promised I could swing at the park! I want to get ice cream, and make some new friends. You never play with me and I'm bored. Get up! Get up mommy!

 Shut up Nia, shut up! Fine let's go to the park,  it is a beautiful afternoon but first, mama needs to put on a pretty sundress and fix her hair. Come to think of it, what are you wearing? You look a mess, go change while I get ready. Mama is looking for a new friend herself. 

It feels amazing out here, the warmth of the sun against my face and the wind blowing through my freshly washed curls, Mommy? Can I go play over there? Mommy answer me,please answer me .

Go!.. Go play and leave me alone. You get on my nerves,besides, I can find a man a lot faster without you hanging on to me.

I must be looking better than I thought in my new sundress. I've always thought blue was my color but judging from all the stares of everyone else in the park, I am absolutely pulling off this blue mini dress. When was the last time I had a real date or some fun? It's been a long time and an even longer winter.

 I swear that little girl gets in the way of a good time. It's always mommy this or mommy that. I'm so tired of hearing her annoying little voice and her sticky hands  that always smelled of syrup were always messing up my outfits. Maybe I should leave her here at the park, it's plenty of other moms around, maybe one of them will feel sorry for her and take her home. The adventures I could go on if she wasn't around; the people I could meet; the places I could go.

 I was always destined for greatness anyway, what better time than the present to chase the things I want and deserve.

Mmmmmm, Look at that handsome guy over by the swings. That must be his son he is playing with,maybe I could use my little brats help in getting his attention. 

The perfect chisel of his tanned jawline and the bulge of his hard muscles in that fitted t-shirt is making this walk in the park feel more like a scorching summer day in July.

Mommy, I'm over here, come push me in the swing next to my new friend.

Mama is coming sweet girl, you know I love to play with you. Nia, don't be rude, introduce me to your new friend and his dad...Never mind,I'll introduce myself ....

Mommy you scared them away, get them back. I never get to make any new friends when you come around. I hate you, I hate you!

Wham! 

 Mommy that hurt, I won't say it again, please don't hit me again, please, I'm sorry.

You ran them off, not me, just like you always run everyone away from us. We have nothing and no one because of you!  You are such a little brat and…..

 Mamas, sorry Nia, It's OK. Let's go get some ice cream. That always makes us feel better and you can have whatever flavor you want sweetie.  After we get ice cream, promise mama you will be a good girl.

I promise mommy.

That guy doesn't know what he is missing out on, who in their right mind would run away from a woman like me? It's fine though, he wasn't all that handsome anyway and I can do much better. Besides, he had a little snotty nose kid with him and God only knows I am not about to play second to another woman's kid.

 Nia and I make a pretty good team when she isn't so caught up in her own needs. I swear you would think that a six year old wasn't so needy and selfish. I can't stay mad at her long though because she looks exactly like  me in a smaller version, with her cartoon like brown eyes, and her soft jet black curls framing her round face. She was definitely going to break some hearts when she got older, just like her mama.

Nia has no idea how good she has it; my mother was only around when she had nothing better to do; her words not mine..

 “Lauren I can't wait for you to get bigger and start looking like a woman, then maybe I can use you for something. You can help your mama get us a man and finally be useful.”

 I hated when she would stumble into our dirty one bedroom apartment smelling like a whole bottle of whiskey. That was the drink that put hair on your chest she would slur in my face with a sloppy laugh. The countless knocks on our front door always meant rent was paid another month and mother had just enough left to get herself another bottle. If it was a really nice guy, she would sometimes have enough to treat me to ice cream when she was in a good mood.

 Once I got a little older, mother told me I was old enough to start helping her out and not living for free. She took me shopping and bought me the prettiest red dress, got my hair done and told me to use what was God given because my looks was about all I had going for me.

 The first time was the hardest….

 After that I really don't remember much.

 Mother always said I was a little crazy, “Crazy Lauren” she used to call me. Maybe she was right. So yea, Nia had it good as far as I'm concerned.

 Nia! You are a mess, the ice cream is everywhere. What have I told you about getting so dirty?! Do you like embarrassing me?  You want me to never live my dreams because that means not having you around!! You are such a little brat after everything I do for you. Don't you start crying, stop it, stop it I said….

 SSSSTTTTOOOPPPP!!!!!

‘Ma'am, are you OK? Do you need help?’

 “I'm fine, my daughter here is being disobedient so if you don't mind I need to get back to her...Nia,where are you..?”

‘Ma'am, there is no one else here. There was never a little girl with you. Are you sure you don't need any help?’