The Man In The Mirror

I know to some, this story will sound crazy. Because it is. But it's also true. It changed my life in a positive way. I was married for 30 years to my best friend and soulmate. In December of 2020 my dear husband passed away suddenly. He was 56 years young. Like many couples, we had plans. Our next chapter. A chapter that didn't end. But it dramatically changed the course of my life. Losing my sweet husband almost destroyed me. But life goes on as we all know. I have two of the best kids on the planet. They are adults. Luckily they still live at home with me. I was left with a broken heart, and mounds of debt. Like many people are faced with. My husband was a great provider, husband, and father. We did the best we could. But always seemed to struggle financially. I've never been one of those people who think it's all about the money. Happiness comes in many forms. Love, respect, and peace is my path in life. Especially since I'm older now.

But bills come in monthly. You need money to live. So I had to figure this out. One day, I had just woken up. I was brushing my teeth, when. I felt a tingling sensation on my neck. It was a little bit like a chill. I looked up and there was a reflection besides mine in the mirror. No face. But I knew who it was. I have had alot of spiritual awakening experiences since my husband passed away. The stove turning on by itself, clocks working after being broken. Feeling of not being alone when nobody was home.They say if you see numbers in a pattern of threes, those are angel numbers. Like 333, or 444 for example. A feeling of comfort, knowing a spirits presence, is with me. So it was not scary to see this reflection. There was also the numbers 333 in the corner of the mirror. I started talking to the reflection. Feeling if anyone saw me, I'd be hospitalized..... But I didn't let that stop me. I felt there was a message he wanted me to hear.

He told me to follow my dreams.

To not give up. To not settle. I had been trying to find a job. I've used writing as an outlet ever since I could remember, starting as a young child.

So I started looking into writing jobs. It didn't happen right away. But eventually I found my calling. It all started with that moment in the mirror. My husband was always my rock. He was still there supporting my dreams.

I'm very passionate about writing. But also about letting people know they aren't alone. Everyone struggles sometimes. Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. I joined a team of people who help people in recovery. Feeling like you make a difference in just one person's life could be really helpful in your own life. It's life's biggest reward in my opinion.This story isn't about what I do. It's about how a moment can change your course of life for the better. All you need to do is believe in yourself. If you can do that, other people will believe in you too. It might even inspire them to believe in themselves for the first time ever!

This reflection didn't end that one day. I see him often. When you find your soulmate, not even death can take them away.

Please don't misunderstand. I am still grieving the loss. I'll never forget the scariest day of my life. My husband had a sudden cardiac arrest. Paramedics had to work on him for 15 minutes once they got him into the ambulance. Then again all the way to the hospital. My husband was on his way home from work. All he wanted to do was get home. He knew he felt off. Something was very wrong. The moment he got home, he fell into his favorite lazyboy chair, and seconds later he could not form a word, but was gasping for air. All I could do was call 911 for him. Luckily we have a fire dept.within walking distance of our rural community. Help arrived very quickly. But due to the pandemic, I was unable to go with him. My daughter is disabled with health issues. So I had to make arrangements for her, before I could get to the hospital. 24 hours later. He was in a coma. No brain activity. I spent days in the chapel, praying for him to survive. I was really angry with God, when he did not make it. He died 5 days later. I was never able to say goodbye. But what I discovered was pretty powerful. Forgiveness is key in recovering from any trauma. I forgave God. I was so grateful my husband was in a better place. A heavenly place where he didn't have to work his butt off for his family, and still struggle. No pain. No health issues. Just a place of love and serenity. He deserved that. He was a great man.But never felt like he was enough. It always broke my heart. He felt that mistakes he made as a young man would keep him out of heaven. I can without a doubt say, that's definitely where he is. I know he's happy. Isn't that what we all want? He lived a great life. He touched alot of lives. We will all miss him always. I know one day we will meet again. It will be just as epic as when we met on earth. Maybe even more so. Loss is really painful. But it makes you realize just how strong you are. How capable and resilient you are. Life may forever change. But it doesn't have to be all bad. For me, I focus on what I do have. I also know how blessed I am to have had someone so amazing love and respect me for three decades. Someone to make me laugh, when I wanted to cry. Some people never get that in a lifetime. I also think about the way I lost him. It's difficult losing someone you love so suddenly like that. You feel robbed in a way. Because you couldn't say goodbye. But I think that's why all he wanted was to get home. To be here with his family. I think he knew what was going to happen. And for us, I think it would have been way too hard to say our goodbyes. To have to watch him continue to get sick over months. It's all about your perspective. That man in the mirror, will always be there when I really need him. I know that in the core of my soul. I'll always be grateful for that.