Alice in Dairy Queen

Alice was excited to attend her first wedding. Her parents eloped when she was twelve and most of her relatives didn’t bother getting married at all. She had been working at the Dairy Queen since halfway through her senior year, and now at 19, her assistant manager invited all staff to her ceremony and reception at the VFW hall where she had attended bingo with friends a few times.

The invitation suggested a formal or semi-formal dress code, and the couple preferred light colors. Perfect! She had wanted a chance to wear her prom gown again. She had used her wages to order a dress online that came from China. Everyone told her it wouldn’t arrive on time, and it would look nothing like the picture. She felt defeated and humiliated at the time because she had no money left to get a backup dress. It arrived the day before prom and ended up looking even better than she managed. No one believed she only spent $35 with shipping, and that it was from one of the shady fast fashion online stores known for scams. It was beautiful with a beaded bodice and flowy, shimmery skirt that reached to the ground. She had to borrow a pair of her mother’s high heels to complete the outfit and had felt like a princess.. For the first time in her life, she felt pretty and vowed to wear the dress again.

“Mama, I’m going to need to borrow those silver shoes for the wedding tomorrow,” she informed her mom.

“Oh, shoot,” Mama said. “I danced those to death. We’ll need to come up with something else.” The two women scoured Mama’s closet for high heels that would match the dress and the occasion.

“Mama, I hate to say this, “Alice said while saying it, “Most of your shoes look like something strippers would wear.”

“What?” Mama exclaimed. “I just love to go dancing and those shoes hold up.” On Saturday nights, the local dance hall played music. Sometimes local bands tried out new songs, but mostly they played a digital jukebox. The rest of the week, the dancehall was the community center where people went for a variety of reasons. It functioned as the town hall, DHS, the mayor’s office, and had rooms for the county court and clerk, You could dance the night away on a Saturday night and then face the judge Monday morning in the same room for whatever illicit event occurred. The judge and mayor were probably in attendance Saturday night too. During your trial on one end of the hall, people could come in and apply for marriage licenses, and food stamps, and say hi to the mayor who was probably at his desk with his feet up. Next door was the sheriff’s office with attached DPS office and two jail cells. Across from both was the VFW which also served as the bingo parlor, as well as hosted all of the town’s BBQ or fried catfish fundraisers.

Dances were also hosted some Saturday nights at the VFW when it wasn’t rented out, but it usually attracted a younger crowd. This weekend, however, it would be a wedding venue while the regulars danced across the street. Inevitably, both events would mingle—usually around midnight when people were drunk enough to wander across the street to see how things were going at the other location.

Alice eventually settled on a pair of stripperish type shoes. She figured it didn’t matter much as you couldn’t really see her feet under the gown. Her mama agreed to do her hair, makeup, and nails in the morning because she had to work a shift the night before the wedding and there was no point in risking her nails getting chipped. The day before the wedding, Alice had to work.

“Hey Alice,” her aunt called to her at the counter.

“Hey Aunt CrystalAnn, how you doing?” She replied.

“I’m good,” CrystalAnn responded. “Tell your mama I’m gonna need her to watch the little ones in the morning.”

“Oh, she can’t, Auntie, she’s helping me get ready for the weddin!” Alice exclaimed.

“Oh honey, she won’t mind,” her aunt insisted. Alice was panicking. They were an absolute handful and got into everything while minding no one.

“She just can’t,” Alice insisted.

“Hungr-Buster with cheese and bacon and a Diet Coke,” CrystalAnn ordered as she opened her phone.

“You want fries with that?”

“No, girl, I’m on a diet,” she explained. “TammiLynn, your girl here is telling me you can’t sit tomorrow morning. I got things to do,” she said into the phone.

“No, I’ll send the iPad,” she told the phone. “Of course, they won’t get in the way. You know how they are. It’ll be fine.”

CrystalAnn’s three youngest were little hellions. At 6, 5, and 4, they had enough energy to stir up a dust devil. Her older kids were in high school and not trustworthy enough to look after their siblings. The last time they tried, the twin 17-year-olds left because they forgot they were babysitting, and the 14-year-old got high and fell asleep. The house was a disaster inside and out when CrystalAnn came home and the littlest one wasn’t found for hours.

“Of course, I know how important this is to her, but I don’t see how my babies being there is interfering with anything,” her aunt sputtered into the phone. She wasn’t used to being told no.

“Now look,” she continued, “Family does for family.” There was a pause while she listened.

“It doesn’t matter what I’m doing,” she insisted, “Family does for family, TammiLynn. You walking on very thin ice right now.”

“That’ll be 10.47,” Alice interjected.

CrystalAnn covered the phone and said, ”That’s the combo price.”

“Crap,” Alice muttered as she reentered the order. “Did you want that all the way?”

“Girl, you should know my order,” she said to Alice before saying into the phone, “Sis, your girl doesn’t even know my order. Now, to help you out, I can wait until like 9 or 10 to drop them off. That’s me being considerate.” Then she spoke to Alice again and said, “Don’t forget the family discount.” Alice was supposed to only use it on immediate family. She turned to look at the assistant manager, Taylor–the one who was getting married the next day, and she shook her head. Alice didn’t say anything and just put in the order all the way. She didn’t know her aunt’s order.

CrystalAnn took her styrofoam cup and wandered off to the soda fountain without paying.

“You aren’t even trying to compromise, TammiLynn!” she almost shouted. She stood by the machine taking gulp after gulp, so she could refill her cup before leaving. She stormed back to the counter, and Alice told her her new total.

“What about the kids’ orders?” she demanded.

“You didn’t order anything more, Aunt CrystalAnn,” Alice responded, exasperated. In the end, she was called useless for not knowing all six of her cousins' orders and accused of turning against her family for not using her family discount secretly. She told Alice that with her assistant manager right there next to her.

“I’m sorry,” Alice told Taylor after her aunt finally left after refilling her cup three times.

“No, I’m sorry,” her supervisor responded. “You know, you don’t really have to dress up for my wedding.”

“I’ve been looking forward to it,” Alice responded.

“Well, don’t stress over it. I want everyone to have fun. That’s the most important part to me.”

The next morning Alice awoke at 6:00 am to mayhem. Despite being told no, CrystalAnn had literally dumped her kids on their doorstep and drove off. Everyone inside was asleep. They banged on the door for a bit, but when no one answered they started playing in the yard. Alice’s dad woke up to the sound of a crash and went out to investigate. He found the kids trying to start the riding lawnmower they had pushed out of the shed.

“I’m so hungry,” she heard one wailing in the kitchen.

“Goodness gracious,” her mom responded. “Didn’t your mama feed you?”

“No,” said the oldest. “She said you’d do it.” Even from her bedroom, she heard her mom curse “under her breath.” Her mom was not normally a curser.

The morning was chaotic. No iPad had been sent with the kids. The oldest admitted it had been broken for weeks. He also informed them they were staying all weekend because his parents were heading to the beach for a little getaway. Alice’s dad tried his best to wear them out before leaving for work at 8:00 am, but they had boundless amounts of energy and needed constant supervision. More than once that morning, tears silently slipped down Alice’s face.

“She has her phone turned off,” Mama exclaimed. “Go on and shower and shave and get yourself ready.” Afterward, Alice plugged in her rollers to heat up while she blowdried her hair. She got no peace in the shower. It was the only bathroom, so the kids entered it multiple times claiming to need the toilet. When she left the bathroom, she was astonished to see both sets of her grandparents and a couple of cousins.

“We’ve got this,” Meemaw said. “You focus on getting ready. Family does for family, I always say.” Relieved, she began the process of rolling her hair, and then her mom started on her nails so they would have time to dry long before getting dressed that afternoon. Between the four grandparents and the two preadolescent cousins, the little ones looked up to and adored, no one interfered with her big day.

Finally, the moment arrived, Mama drove her to the VFW so she wouldn’t get dust from the dirt road on her sparkling white dress if she walked. She entered the hall like a princess and was pleased when she heard gasps. The ceremony began promptly and she found an empty spot near the front just as the first bridesmaid started down the aisle. The groom and his men wore boots, jeans with a tux on top, and cowboy hats. The bridesmaids wore non-matching floral gowns. The bride’s mermaid gown accented her hourglass figure and made her look like a beauty queen. As soon as the ceremony was over, guests were asked to move to the side as the bridal party and family members of the couple rolled out tables to take the place of the rows of chairs.

“You need to leave,” an older, gruff woman barked at Alice as the room was being converted from the ceremony to a reception.

“Excuse me,” she responded, her voice shaking.

“How dare you show up in white?” the angry woman bellowed.

“Mom,” the groom yelled from across the room. “Come sit down. I have your table ready.”

“Who is this floozy?” she demanded. Alice had never heard the word floozy before but didn’t like it.

“Mom! Come here,” the groom shouted as Taylor glided across the room.

“What’s the problem?” she asked her new mother-in-law.

“I’ve got this; don’t worry,” she told her new daughter-in-law. “I won’t let this little girl ruin your big day.”

“Mom, she’s not the one ruining anything here,” her son asserted as he walked up. “Please stop making a commotion. This is Alice. She works with Taylor and has been looking forward to wearing her prom dress again.” Wow, Alice thought to herself. She knew that the whole town heard about how she had been dumped at prom, but she didn’t know Taylor had told her groom about her wanting to wear the dress.

“Everyone knows it is bad taste to wear white to someone else’s wedding,” the mother-in-law insisted.

“Not around here, Carol,” Taylor explained to her new relative who was from out of town. “Everyone around here knows it’s bad taste to make a guest not feel welcome.” The poor woman just didn’t understand the unspoken rules of their community.