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Funny

Working retail during the holidays can be the worst thing a person can ever experience. Especially for Alex, who isn’t as patient as most people were. Considering it’s Black Friday, not a single person in the store is calm, maybe except for a handful of people, but the chaotic mess was not helping Alex in any shape or form.


“Next in line!,” he called in his loudest voice


As Alex is busy thinking about what to do once he gets home, the customer pulls up to his register with almost quadruple of everything.


“Man why didn’t I quit before the holidays,” Alex thought as he started scanning the customer’s socks


The cart was filled with at least five flat screen t.v.s, four blenders, stacks of polaroid film, and sweaters for dogs of multiple sizes. 


Alex was trying as fast as he can to scan the items to keep the long lines moving. Just scanning the blenders alone, he begins to wonder what type of person needs four blenders.


“Does he need one for each of Earth’s elements or something? It’s like he’s trying to become the avatar,” Alex thought as he started to scan the dog sweaters, “I wonder if this man is running an animal shelter. Maybe I should ask. But would that be considered weird? Maybe I’ll just keep to myself.”


“Your total will be $2,020 sir”


The customer looked outraged about the price. Alex can see the anger in his face and tried his best to look unbothered.


“MY TOTAL CAN NOT BE $2,020! YOU DID SOMETHING WITH MY PRODUCTS!” the customer screamed at Alex, “YOU- YOU SCANNED EVERYTHING AT LEAST FOUR TIMES DIDN’T YOU?! LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”


Alex sighed and told the customer that he scanned everything correctly. The customer causing a big scene and yelling at him that he was doing everything wrong and that he would “get his ass fired” if he didn’t rescan the items made Alex feel in a terrible mood. With such little patience and a very high temper Alex said at the top of his lungs, 


“THEN WHY DON’T YOU SCAN THE ITEMS YOURSELF YOU BOOMER” 


The customer face looked priceless. Hearing some chuckles and ohh’s in the back, Alex felt great about himself. 


That was until he felt a tap on his shoulder and saw his supervisor with a very displeased look. 


“I knew I should have left this job a while ago,” Alex thought as he was being pulled into the break room.


After a brief conference with his supervisor, ALex was dismissed to go back to his job. He stomped angrily back to his register, mumbling about how if he were to work in Canada that he wouldn’t have to deal with people like that old man.


“I’m not even getting paid enough to deal with people’s bullshit like this,” he thought as he angrily scanned the customer’s items, “I bet working at coffee shop is better than this”


As the night slowly treads on Alex starts to become easily irritated with all the customers he’s had so far. Knowing this he decided that it was time to go on his break. 


Sleepy and irritated, Alex just wanted to rest and go home and see his pet turtle, but no he had to work retail and deal with all these people. As he was busy thinking about how his pet turtle was doing, another coworker walks in and immediately he wanted to leave. 


“Rise and shine! We got business to do!” Elizabeth, the worker who was just too cheery for Alex, called out.


“Can you PLEASE shut up for once Elizabeth?” Alex snapped and felt no regret for saying it. 


“Well I’m sorry Alex that I actually enjoy my job here”


Alex groaned and said, “Elizabeth no one likes working at Wal-Mart, you must be on crack to even think that. I’m only here because I need to eat in college”


He felt that he couldn’t be around her presence anymore and decided to cut his break short and left the room. Not wanting to go back to work he decided to stroll around the store seeing the chaotic mess still happening even at two in the morning. 


As he was strolling through the baby section he saw that a woman was trying to steal essential needs.


“Out of all the things this woman could have stolen, she decided to steal nail clippers, sandals, and hangers,” Alex thought as he kept staring at the woman.


Eventually they made awkward eye contact and Alex had to say something since he worked there but it seemed that he could care less. The lady randomly hissed at him and sprinted in the opposite direction. Working at Wal-Mart, Alex had already seen some weird people doing weird things but this had to be one of the top weirdest things he’s even witnessed while working on Black Friday. He knew that he probably should have stopped the lady but she was gone now deep into the crazy crowd.


As Alex turned around, he was met with bright lights and a very large camera crew. He felt as if he was famous for a second and his natural reaction was to pose for the cameras. He did what any natural college boy would do and flex his chain when in reality it wasn’t even real and costed about $8.


Seeing a large figure approach him behind the crew, Alex was concerned and hoped that the figure wasn’t his manager because he knew how screwed he would be if he knew that he let that lady go with nail clippers, slippers, and hangers.


“Excuse me sir,” just that opening sentence Alex knew who it was and had never wanted to poop his pants more than he ever did right now, “I’m John Quinones, with the T.V.  show, ‘What Would You Do?’”


In his head Alex was mentally cursing himself out because he knew this would happen one day but he did not expect it to happen during the middle of the busiest shifts he has ever worked.


With that phrase, Alex knew that lady that hissed at him was really an actor and knew he should have done his job right. What’s left for him to deal with now is John Quinones, his manager, and soon to be last shift at Wal-Mart. (1066)


December 12, 2019 07:21

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