Chefs vs. Computer Chips

“Welcome ladies, gentleman, and various mechanized lifeforms to ‘Chefs vs. Computer Chips.’ My name is Fallon Frazer and this is the very first episode of our cooking competition show that pits classically trained gastronomes against AI guided counterparts. Tonight, Marion Fincastle, owner and head chef of Marion’s Kitchen in Chicago, takes on SizzleThangUno, or STU, a program built by students who attend Walen prep-school in England. Before we speak to our contestants, let me introduce you to my tasty morsel of a co-host, Nick Albright, who is currently walking around the floor where the action will take place. He’ll tell us a little bit about what’s going to be going down tonight. Nick, over to you.”

“Thank you, Fallon. It looks to be a very exciting night for our first contestant Marion Fincastle,” Nick motioned to the short, middle aged, brunette woman who stood beside him. Marion fidgeted from side to side. “As Fallon mentioned, Marion you are the owner and operator of Marion’s Kitchen which is located in the heart of Chicago. You have also competed with hundreds of professionals from all over the world. What makes this different in your opinion?”

“Well, Nick, usually I am competing with other renown chefs from all over the world. Tonight, however, I will be competing with artificial intelligence that was designed and programmed by students at one of the most well known tech schools in the world. It is a little more intimidating,” Marion said, laughing through heavy breaths.

“I can see why that could be a little vexing,” Nick agreed. “Is there anything that one does to prepare for such an event?”

Marion scratched her head. “Mm, well… I researched the culinary arts department at Walen. In addition, I researched SizzleThangUno, my competition tonight. There was very little information on Sizzle, outside of the news article announcing his creation and that he would be competing tonight.” 

“Well, that certainly does put one at a disadvantage,” Nick said, nodding rapidly. “How confident are you in your chances of winning tonight?”

“Getting right to the point, huh? I like that.” Marion chuckled. “Well, I have tremendous confidence in my abilities as a chef. I have been a chef for over thirty years and am the proud owner of one of the finest establishments in not only Chicago but the world. Marion’s Kitchen opened for business in the Spring of 2003 and, since, we have been named one the best restaurants in Chicago. We have won countless awards including two James’ Beard Awards for Outstanding Chef in 2019 and Best Chef of the Great Lake’s District, which we won this year. We beat out dozens of top tier chefs from Indiana, Michigan, Ohio and of course my home state of Illinois.” Marion smiled, her perfectly straight teeth flashing. “I have no doubt that tonight will be a success as I prove that robots are no match for a seasoned vet, such as myself, when it comes to knowing what people are looking for when it comes to fine dining.” 

“Well, those are certainly some impressive accomplishments,” Nick said gulping, sweat forming on his upper lip. “Best of luck!”

“In a moment, Nick will get a word in with the man, or should I say machine, of the hour. STU. We’re all very excited,” said Fallon, clapping. “But first, let me explain how this works. Each competitor will prepare a three-course meal — appetizer, entree, and dessert. Each contestant will choose one ingredient, for each of the dishes, that both competitors must use. Now that we all know the rules and are on the same page, let’s get the dish on our hot toddy of a bot, SizzleThangUno. Back over to you, Nick.”

“Fallon, I am standing here with SizzleThangUno. Sizzle is an artificial intelligence who has won numerous artificial intelligence culinary arts competitions in America, China, Japan, and various European countries. Sizzle, how does it feel to be competing tonight?” Nick asked, eyes glued to the lifelike robot.

“I do not feel, Nick Albright. I have not been programmed for emotions nor for most humanoid responses,” said STU, blinking at the camera, his mouth moving continuously, even when he paused. “Only for cooking and for victory.”

“Mm.” Nick scratched his head. “Well… I … Do you have any comments on tonight’s competition?”

“There is no competition here. I will win. It is decided. If I do not, there will be problems, Nick Albright,” said STU, his head swiveling from the camera straight toward Nick. A pause and then, “I am being humorous, Nick Albright. Don’t look so afraid. I am, no doubt, in for the greatest challenge of my career. But so is Marion Fincastle. Only one of us will win over the judges. Every dish that has ever been featured on the menu at Marion’s Kitchen is contained within my data bases. I have downloaded all of the cooking styles that the chef has been trained in. Yet, my understanding and abilities remain, mostly, a mystery to her. That is my advantage.”

“Well, that is quite the upper hand you have in this battle,” Nick said. He smiled at STU and nodded, pulling at his collar. “This is truly shaping up into an epic battle.”

The camera was now on Fallon who was wide eyed, mouth agape. She shook her head with vigor and said, “Ah… well, yes. That was quite… something. But on the subject of our judges, they are comprised of an anonymous panel of chefs, food critics, and machines that will judge what our competitors prepare through different metrics-based algorithms. Four total, two humans and two non-sentients. We are keeping them anonymous as to protect them all from any questions of biased.” A buzzer went off somewhere off camera. “That sound means our competition has begun. For our appetizer portion, Marion has chosen spinach for the ingredient both must utilize and STU has chosen… well, it seems STU has chosen spinach as well. This is quite the conundrum, but what can be done? Spinach it is. Nick, tell us a bit about what you see Marion doing in her kitchen and see if you can get a brief word in with her.”

“Marion is preparing her world famous spinach dip,” Nick said, watching on and smacking his lips as Marion turned on the stove-eye and began to use a cheese grater to shred cheese into the skillet. “Next, she is dicing up spinach and seasoning it with a blend of herbs and spices.”

“And can you get a quick word in with the chef, Nick?” asked Fallon. “Is she keeping to what she knows best because she expects STU to do something a little more risky in the appetizer round? Is she planning to play it safe, like this, for the entirety of the competition? Or is she, perhaps, starting off easy and then going to skew a little more avant-garde for the entree and dessert portions? How do the ingredients chosen factor into her decision making in this?”

“These are all wonderful questions,” Nick said. He turned to Marion who stood working on the appetizer. “Marion, do you have time for a quick word?” 

“A busy chef never has time for idle chitchat,” Marion said, not taking her eyes off the stove in front of her. “Make it quick.”

Nick nodded and raised his eyebrows. “Oh."

“I’m joking, Nick,” Marion said with a sparkle in her smile. “Ask me anything. Cooking is like second nature to me. I could do this with my eyes closed.” 

“Now there’s a concept for a cooking show,” Nick said, wiping his brow. “Fallon brought up some very interesting points that I would love to talk to you about. Is there any reason that you made the choices that you did? Did you select the spinach dip because you know the recipe so well?”

“I’m whipping up my spinach dip because I have won numerous competitions by preparing this dish. Marion’s Kitchen took home the award at the Illinois State Fair for Best Spinach Dip in all of Illinois,” Marion replied. “This is a recipe that I learned from my grandmother who learned it from her grandmother. It is very special to me.”

Nick smiled as tears moistened the corners of his eyes. “That is very touching. And as STU stated earlier, he is not programmed for anything besides cooking… and victory, as he put it. Bet he doesn’t have a heartwarming backstory.”

“Not having emotions is going to be STU’s greatest downfall. The way I feel about cooking will be what wins me this competition,” Marion vowed. 

“That brings me to my next question. Do you think STU will prepare something more risky, since his heart isn’t invested in honoring family traditions and the like. Also, if he does, do you believe that will dampen his chances at a victory tonight?” Nick asked, standing over Marion’s pots and pans, inhaling deeply. “Oh, it does smell incredible.”

“Of course it does. I would like to see that glorified kitchen appliance cook up something as tasty as this. Come, Nicky, have a bite.” Marion did not give Nick a chance to protest as she grabbed a bowl and plopped a spoonful of spinach dip into it and pushed it towards him.

“Oh, how could I possibly say no?” Nick questioned before he took a taste. “This is good,” Nick said, having another bite. “Real good,” he said with his mouth full of dip.

“Alright, Nick. You’re enjoying yourself too much, down there. Thank the chef and be on your way. We have another cook, and his dishes, to check in on,” Fallon urged.

Nick gave a thumbs up to Marion. “If this is any indication, and I was a betting man, then my money is on you securing the victory tonight. Speaking of which, be sure to use the hashtag ‘ChefsVSComputerChips’ to let us know your thoughts on who you believe will be the winner!” Nick said, addressing the camera. “Thank you, chef,” Nick said, turning to Marion and then made his way to STU.

STU had, in front of him, cans of spinach and he was opening them, one by one, with his teeth. Next to them, he had packs of fresh baby-spinach.

“Oh, hello Nick Albright.” STU smiled at Nick with spinach in his teeth. “Come to get the low-down on the winning strategy?”

Nick cleared his throat. “Well, that’s certainly an interesting way to open spinach.” Nick forced a laugh. “So, tell me STU what are you preparing?” Nick asked, his eyelids flickering.

“Spinach and spinach, as the rules of the competition call for. The chef and I both selected spinach as our ingredient for this round. Technically, that means we are required to use spinach twice. Either prepared in two different ways or otherwise, as I am doing here, utilizing two different kinds of spinach. That’s by the book,” said STU, pouring the cans and baby-spinach together into a pot. “If my competition hasn’t abided by this then, technically, her dish is disqualified. I would understand it if she wasn’t entirely aware of this technicality. One might overlook this stipulation if they hadn’t read the fine-print in the competitor’s manual — something, I might add, a super-computer such as I would never do.”

There was silence for a moment and then Fallon broke in, saying, “He’s right. I can’t believe this, but yes. I’ve just checked in with the judges and STU is correct. And this first course is to be delivered to the judges in 3…2…1!”

A buzzer sounded and STU lifted his pot. He said, “That means it’s time for us to present our first offering.”

“Well, this is where we would call in the panel of judges.” Nick scratched his head. “This revelation, that since Marion failed to use two types of spinach, has certainly changed the trajectory of the night. Judges, what is the verdict? Is STU correct in his assumption and does Marion lose this round?”

“The judges say that it is no assumption at all,” said Fallon, the cameras back on her, her face as green as the contents of STU’s pot. “STU wins the round, automatically.”

“Very well. On to round two,” Nick said, shaking his head.

Marion stormed over to Nick, her face was flushed and tears rolled down her cheeks. “This is utterly ridiculous!” Marion exclaimed, clenching her fists. “This contest is rigged and you all haven’t done a very good job at hiding it. With all the subtle hints you dropped. You asked if STU would attempt something underhanded — or ‘risky,’ as you coined it. Well, that was not risky. That was unprofessional and, dare I say, disrespectful to not only me but to chefs everywhere. I have won numerous competitions and never in my life have I heard of anything quite like this. STU simply prepared baby spinach and canned spinach that he opened with his teeth. His teeth! You’ll be hearing from my attorney!” 

“Uh… Mm,” Nick said, rubbing his head. “In yet another surprising turn of events it appears Marion has forfeited the competition.”

“And it appears we’ve forfeited our time slot on this network. I guess that’s all there is to be said, then? I’ve been Fallon Frazer and…”

The video cut and an infomercial for self-cleaning ovens aired.