Wait for me to come home.

Phoenix

Just as I begin to nod off to sleep I hear a knock.

"Hello?" I say groggily.

Another knock.

I throw the covers off and walk over to my bedroom door. But there's no one there. I hear whispering behind me. It's coming from the window. 

"Open the window!" She mouths.

I unlock it and slide it open quietly. It's a girl, she's about my age. It's hard to see in the dark.

She jumps in. "Hey, Phoenix."

"Alyssa?!"

"SHHH!" She covers my mouth.

"Why are you here?"

"My family is moving back to Phoenix."

"That's Amazing, Alyssa."

She talks to me for a few hours, but I still can't see her in the light of my room. After she leaves I look over at my alarm clock.

"2:00 a.m.?!"

I stumble back to bed and try to fall asleep. It feels like just a few minutes before my alarm goes off. Luckily, it's Friday. I comb through my hair and throw on a button up shirt. I grab my backpack and go down to breakfast.

I take a waffle and hug my Mom before heading to my car. I drive to school just in time for the first period. I walk in laughing. Every Friday the principal blasts "Friday" by Rebecca Black. It is so obnoxious and funny at the same time. I walk in and one girl is attracting a crowd all singing. Once I make it to the center of the crowd my mouth drops open.

"Alyssa?"

"Oh hey Phoenix!"

I smile when I finally see her. She looks so different. Not a bad difference. She's tall and her hair is long, her face mature. I haven't seen her for 4 years. 

She beams at me "Wanna Join?" She grabs my hand and I join the circle. When the bell rings we all scatter across hallways to get to class. Luckily Alyssa and I have the same first period class.

"Wow, you're really the life of the party." I snicker.

"I caught up with some old friends, I missed it here."

"I missed you."

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

She looks at me wrinkling her nose like she always does when she is confused.

"Are you...blushing?"

I look away in embarrassment. "No."

"See you after science!" I rush away.

All of science I can't get her out of my mind. Why? It's Alyssa, my best friend since preschool. Just Friends. The bell rings and Mr. Cadenzas comes over to my desk after everyone else is gone.

"Where are your notes, Phoenix?"

"My notes...?"

He furrows his brow.

"Pay attention, young man."

"I notice when a student is acting differently in my class."

"Yes, Sir." I fumble to get to my next class, flushed and embarrassed. 

I try to focus in American History, but I still only have one thing on my mind. Once I get home from school I collapse on my bed. I look over at my guitar. Maybe...? I always use music to cope. With my anxiety especially. I lift my mattress and grab my songbook, quickly flip to a blank page and strum some chords.

"I don't want to change a thing, nothing about you and me." I jot down the lyrics. "It's Perfect"

Alyssa

I sit down at the piano and lay my head against the keys. "You should've told him, you're an idiot" But of course I could never. Phoenix doesn't think of me like that. Best friends since preschool remember? I rewind, and replay the moment in my head again and again.

"I missed you."

"Yeah."

"I missed you."

"Yeah."

How could I have said that? it's not what I wanted to say. But I WOULD NEVER say what I had thought. No way to scare a guy away like saying. I missed you everyday for the past six years, I was far away and wanted you right here." Wait? I missed you everyday for the past six years, I was far away, wanted you right here. G, B, D. I play the chords faster and faster. I put pen to paper letting my thoughts flow freely from my head.

Monday morning I wake up feeling energized. I sing my song as I get ready and play the chord progression another time before I go to the subway station. My seventeenth birthday is in two weeks and I still don't have a car. My mom says,  "it saves the environment and our pocket book." I roll my eyes and board the subway. I swerve around the coughing man and the mean old lady sitting near me. I pop in my earbuds. I press shuffle on my music. The first song is “Wonder“ By Shawn Mendes. I laugh, I’ll consider it a sign. The subway stops, and I walk a block to get to school. Phoenix is sitting awkwardly at a lunch table, he has his thumb and forefinger  pressed together as he strums on his pant leg. 

He must still play the guitar. He started in third grade, he had anxiety and music helped him. He was amazing at it too. Phoenix always played me the songs he wrote. Even the stupid ones from when he was ten. The songs about the sky, the grass, his friends, happiness, and brokenness. Some of them I could swear were about me. Lovely, Together, Once Again. When I was thirteen he played me his song Lovely. I wanted to kiss him, so bad. I wonder if he felt that way too. 

I go to each class mindless and distracted. Once the last bell rings I hurry to the cafeteria. Phoenix isn’t there. I go out to the front of the school, not there either. I start to get worried, rushing through the halls until they’ve emptied. I go to his house. I knock on the door. He doesn’t answer. Thankfully the door is unlocked. I hear him singing upstairs. I tiptoe up the stairs, grinning all the way. Phoenix’s door opens a crack, I peer in. My smile drops quickly. A skinny blonde girl sits next to him on his bed. She is close to him. Her head lays on his shoulder. The girl smiles at Phoenix. He sings, looks at her, then his gaze falls on me.