Thriller Sad Coming of Age

*All Names Are Fictional* *All Names Are Fictional*

* If You Have A Similar Name I Am Extremely Sorry!*

It was on August 3rd.

I sank along with Jessica as I dragged her to shore. She was sinking and taking me along. I couldn't save her like the idiot I was bringing myself first. I get out of the lake shivering. I look around to find a lifeless body next to me. Radio chatter fills my ears until I suddenly black out. I wake up to find bright lights stabbing my eyes.

Three days after I recovered I headed to Jessica's house to find her Mom screaming scattering vases once she sees me. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU!" I pick glass shards out of my arm and bandage myself up. Confused,I ask everyone about Jessica but no response. Then Mom brings it up nonchantlantly. " Jessica died honey." She was tapping on her thick black keyboard like anyother day.I killed her. I sob and I break down for three days in my room isolated thinking about my mistakes.

I take another three days to eat and be more hygenic. Mom was at work and didn't have enough time to take care of a 13-year-old. Every time my friends at school mention Jessica's name I rush to the bathroom to puke out of pure sadness.

After three days Mom wants to move. Not because of my unusual behavior. Because of her work. We move to New York City and we rent a huge apartment. She puts me into Trinity School and I restart my new life.

A week after moving A pit forms in my stomach. A void, bigger than anything. It eats all of my emotions ferociously. In favor gives me nothing. It gives a sick feeling like I haven't eaten. Even whilst eating a meal. Enjoyment isn't a feeling anymore.

As I walk around on misty days when the world feels full, but I do not. I walk past people who have thinsg to do. They surround me but I feel alone. It strives... for my life. I drink more water and food to fill the gap. All that happens is more weight.

I feel like a hollow vase. Aching for water or flowers. Just an empty decor piece high on a museum shelf for people to gawk at. I go to amusement parks, beaches, waterparks, and movies but the hole gets bigger and bigger like a scab being picked at and picked at for eternity.

Mom is too busy to notice my unhealthy habits like not going to sleep until 5 am or throwing up at the sight of lakes. As the days go by I become skinny enough for my friends to notice.

I shiver on warm days and I am noticeably paler.No one understands this feeling. This emptiness. Friends are too busy focusing on studies and Mom is too busy with work.

Every night I curl up into a ball and weep. Sadness is the only emotion I can show.

Until I see my savior.

As I am browsing the internet I find a writing website. I begin to pour my imagination and frustrations into writing. I use my imagination to the fullest.

My friends are clearly weirded out by the sudden change of emotions. I am finally beginning to sew close my open wound. I write about old events with a twist and characters I strive to be.

I become healthier but nobody can relate to my passion for writing. My English teacher is impressed with my attention to detail.

My life is finally soaring...

but everyone knows all good things must come to an end.

As I scroll through the polite comments I notice one in caps saying:

Ske Lane

No offense but your characters are seriously messed up I mean how do they get depression after a friend dying? My friend's dog died and I cried for like a month and they are like the same thing like get over it? Can like anyone agree?

Hoi Jui

Honestly, agreed, the main protagonist is a serious wimp

Genesis Quinn

Thanks for the unnecessary criticism but it was based on a true story

Ske Lane

Oof lol

Hoi Jui


Tears trickle down my face and I rush to the bathroom to throw up. Jessicas faces flashes and I throw up more. I sob as the bathroom door opens. Mom is looking at me as she is talking to someone through her earpiece.

"Can I call you later Harrison. Emergency. Yup. Bye." She taps it and she looks at me angrily.

"I was clearly in a meeting if you going to throw up be a little quieter." She flicks my forehead and heads to her room

Fire starts to burn in me but it flickers and it burns out.

I go to sleep to find a bitter surprise.

The hollow space in my stomach is opening. Ready to eat my happiness untill im as hollow as a cookie cutter. It gnaws at my inside leaving me restless and thinking about Jessica.

I go to school and my friends are surprised by my sudden change of emotions of not caring and being quieter. Teachers noticed as I gazed out windows or into space. I forgot assignments and my grades plummeted but not enough for anybody to care enough. I felt lonelier than I ever did. Like no one would notice if I disappeared.

Not even Mom. I kept on telling myself excuses but in the end, they never worked enough.

I re-read more comments on my writing posts and more and more of the same comments pour in by the same people.

Ske Lane

Wow, a new record even worse than the last short story if you can call it a short story.

Hoi Jui

You should honestly just stop

Genesis Quinn

I quit

Ske Lane

Good decision

Genesis Quinn


Hoi Jui


I grab a windbreaker and head out into the breeze fall night. The emptiness is masciating at nothing. I ache for a minute without the annoying sensation but I feel nothing. I walk to the same lake Jessica died at. I tear off my windbreaker along with my phone and any other things in my pockets. I suck in the cold air and I get goosebumps.

My hair is wild and frizzier than usual. I feel the grooves in the rose earrings me and Jessica bought for each other as a BFF symbol. I laugh escapes from me and I breathe deeply.

I sigh and dunk into the freezing water. I swim back and get to the exact spot on where she sank.

Then I let go of myself.

I finally free my soul from my life. From my painful life. It's better this way I told myself as I left myself for good.

A weight leaves my body as I begin to sink.

A burning sensation attacks my lungs and blackout for good.

September 18, 2020 01:03

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Tessa Takzikab
21:48 Sep 23, 2020

I'm scared to comment... I just went back and read your other stories, and I see that you have a penchant for killing your characters. I like how you set up multiple realities for them so they can die countless times. I didn't see it here, most likely because there isn't much dialogue in this story, but in your other stories, I noticed that you don't always start a new paragraph when you switch to a new person. The stories are well written, and this one in particular is very well done. The description of her life shows that she died lo...


Alexa K
01:53 Sep 24, 2020

Im quite a weird writer to be honest -///-. I love to write stories with dark twists and dark endings. Especially in short stories because I don't get too attached to the characters and I don't bond with them like I would with an actual book. I would literally cry if the main character died. Since I'm not an actual author I love dark twists. I love to also write in a humorous way too but it's quite hard because Im quite a funny person in reality but I can't express certain jokes through writing because humor it really gets achieved throu...


Tessa Takzikab
02:16 Sep 24, 2020

I wrote one story that I killed off a character, and it was really hard for me to do. It was so hard for me to even write it because I knew the character was going to die from the beginning. Ooh! If you get enough stories together, you could collect them in a book called The Lives and Times of Genesis! I get what you mean about humorous writing. I only get away with written humor in texts to my friends who know how I would have said it, but that still gets confusing sometimes. I wrote a comedy piece once for fun, and my brother thought...


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Ariadne .
19:51 Sep 23, 2020

Wow. This was intense. Some grammatical errors, but not enough to take away from the story. Well done! You're a great author! ~Ria Mind checking out my latest story? Thanks!


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