The Ones We’ve Left Behind

 A child is only a weakling, who has not gained any experience within this world. The world of humans who place meaning and symbolism, but forgets who and selfishness. You can say it is within our nature? Adults who forgetten kindness or can not sympathize with other living creatures, were the half full water who could not complete happiness within their childhood. Exactly how Margaret experienced a glimpse in her life, within her Sunday morning....

    The old Honda Civics windshield squeekeded as it brushes off the pouring rain from the front window of the car. She sat within the driver seat waiting for the rain to die down. A three floored red and white bricked building greeted her as she waited. The front entrance has stayed the exact same. Just like 12 years ago.... as if the past greeted and welcomed the young woman, who was soon to be married. 

   She quickly made the decision to get out of the car and run towards the entrance. She flung the rusty door open and stepped onto the carpeted entrance. Her rainy brown boots left foot prints as she walked slowly. It smelled just like the same... bleached lemon, used to wax the building floors besides the entrance. The keypad introduced her.. as if it spoke “where is your key”. Margaret knew she did not have the key, and resisted searching her black leather purse. Taking out her latest iPhone she dialed one of many elderly neighbors living within the building. 

“Hey Mrs.Suzan... I have arrived” 

Margaret heard Dr.Oz show playing in the background and the instant loud audience clapped. The elderly woman did not respond to her and left a huge awkward silence. 

“Mrs.Suzan. It’s me Margaret.... I have come to visit” 

    The old woman continued to not respond. Margaret immediately closed the phone. After the second attempt of calling the elderly woman, she gave up. She stepped closer to the glass door, waiting for someone to pass by. Her little pale hands slowly tapped onto the glass. “Is anyone here” she called out. The young woman slowly gave up and took a huge sigh. Her green eyes closed and remembered one of many moments spent here. When she arrived from the hospital... 

   Her father held her within his arms, carrying her slowly home. It was a January evening and  Christmas was a month ago. The little girl was released after getting surgery her leg broken from falling off of an electrical skateboard. The whole day snowed with no painful cold breeze.

“Look mom God has made it snow for me” she murmured happily. That morning, the little girl went to surgery fearlessly.  

   Margaret was always called the silly crying less girl. Never shed a tear even if the shining sharp pains from her broken leg. Her leg was burning and screaming to be fixed. Margaret does not remember which bone was exactly broken. However, she had gotten an IPod for the first time within her entire life.... it was her dream to get an electronic which she only owned. Though her friends had phones within class, she was living a life of Littlest Pet Shops and cutting magazine photos to paste in her scrapbook. It was the first time within her entire life that her father ever carried her. Her young mother and little 8 year old sibling followed behind her father. He wore a black leather jacket with logo patches sawn onto it. He looked like a pilot or a captain of a mission plain. One of many dreams her father envisioned himself as a young man. 

    Margaret opened her eyes after an immediate knock from the glass door. It was an elderly red haired woman. Short and walking slautched. She wore a black with red and yellow floral patterned apron. The edges were stemmed with red cloth. Her teeth were crooked and missing within the front. Her green ready eyes greeted Margaret with a smile captivating the past. 

   Margaret realized it was Sarah, a elderly woman she used to play with. A woman who longed for children, but said “God had never given her a chance too”. Many abortions along, yet she never told little Margaret the truth. 

   Both fond of memories from twelve years ago, embraced with tears. They cried and laughed after years of not seeing each other. You could say, hearts were spiritually connected and their minds never given up on what had happened. 

   Sarah always remembered Margaret as the little girl, parted with two braids and shining her confident smile. The crackly old walls of the bricked building rejuvenated and came alive, because of her. Her eyes wandered with mystery and her curiosity drived to learn. Sarah always brough books to read to her. Both played with Margaret’s Barbie dolls within the garden of the building. Sometimes house or creating a party for them. Sarah even kept her nieces The Little Nemos fish toys, in order to make them swim in the fountain. Margaret watched with fascination. 

    After having a long chat with Sarah and revisiting her apartment, she decided to say her goodbyes and visit Mrs. Suzans apartment. She must be waiting for me, Margaret explained. Sarah agreed and greeted her by the door with blessed wishes. Margaret responded with multiple thank yous and slowly walked down the squeaky white and lime green floor hallways. She found one of many doors which her and her brother played tag. Both would run up the stairs to the second floor and race to Mrs.Suzans apartment door. 

   211 the tag of Mrs.Suzan’s door.. Written from a label machine that her father used for every apartment door. Marageret’s tremboling little hands pressed onto the doorbell. She heard commercials playing from the television from behind the door. Suddenly, footstep noises came closer towards the door and the door opened. 

  Mrs. Suzan changed from the last time she saw her. Her beautiful curly hazel hair greyed and left natural. Her eyes bags increased. She stood with her hand holding the door knob with the same beautiful baby pink nightgown. Her new pink fuzzy slippers on her feet also was one of many changes. They stood looking at each other in mid silence until Margaret stated calmly,

“Hi Mrs.Suzan. I am Elena’s daughter” 

   Mrs. Suzans eyes brightened with excitement and danced to find food in her cabinet. “Come in come in my child” she waved her left hand toward her, signaling to come inside. Mrs. Suzan pranced around her little kitchen looking for coffee grinds. Preparing to make Turkish coffee... one of many cultural traditions. 

    Maragret took off her green trench coat and hung it onto the wooden coat rack. The wet rain drops no longer were present on her moist jacket. As in the tradition, she zipped off her brown boots leaving her feet with her thin socks. She walked slowly towards the round dinner table and sat into the meadow green coushen chair. The rain harshly poured as she saw from the same window when she was 10. Plants out grown and surrounded the white window sill. The flowers were only her friends left. The only sign of family for Mrs.Suzan. 

“Mrs.Suzan I can take out all the food, please sit” she stated politely as she got onto her two feet. 

Mrs.Suzan was egerly stated “no no. You are the guest. You must sit” 

Maraget sat down and embarrassed that she let an old woman do choir while she was a young woman, who was supposed to respect the elderly. 

Mrs.Suzan took out the Malbarow cigarette pocket out of her night gown, lit it as it was between her lips.. and let the smoke fly away from her mouth. “How is your mother” the old woman asked. 

“My mother is alright. How are you Mrs. Suzan?” 

“Same old same old.. after you all were forced to leave” she muttered sadly. Silence...

Mrs.Suzan with no explanation walked into the bathroom. She closed the white door behind her. Maragret sat with confusion and thought she needed to use the restroom. As the young woman observed her surroundings, the walls vibrated with the first time Mrs.Suzan and Maragret’d mother met. Mrs. Suzan recently got out of a 20 year marriage, had a child to take care of, and left with close friends from her youth. These walls were her first over home owned by her. A miserable wife of centuries. Cooking and cleaning for the riches. She dined with the finest meals and married to one of the riches within the city. Everyone knew her name and respected the family... 

    The door instantly opened. Margaret’s green eye moved from fixating the golden rust mirror to Mrs.Suzan. Mrs.Suzan was carrying a large tropical plant with both her hands. The elderly woman stopped and looked at Maragret confusingly. As if she was not aware a guest arrived. “Who are you dear?” Mrs.Suzan asked. Maragret realized that the old woman was sick and forgot her presence within the home. “It’s me Maragret Mrs.Suzan. Elena’s daughter.. from twelve years ago”

The elderly woman's reaction immediately changed... just like how she acted greeting the young girl at the door. As she held the plant rushingly walked into the kitchen. Margaret got  up quickly from her swar and walked behind Mrs.Suzan. 

“Mrs.Suzan please sit. I’ll make the coffee” 

Mrs.Suzan after pleading for a couple of minutes agreed. She placed her plant onto the dining table and sat into the cushioned chair. 

“I don’t understand why you didn’t let me make the coffee... me and my daughter were having a chat and we realized you have cake” she muttered 

     Maragret could not respond to what Mrs.Suzan had stated. Her throat had a lump and her guilt emensly increased. She felt as if her family left behind a woman who seemed attention. Mrs.Duzan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s more than a year ago. Her memory span was severely short. Her plant was the only thing she always remembered... it was the same exact smell her baby daughter carried before her life was cut too short. Mrs.Suzans soul was crippled like a dove wingless. How can a mother continue on moraly and emotionally? A baby she carried for nine month left it’s physical hand print on a lonely mother’s heart. She was the only person who grieved and mentally died a hundred times... not even her spouse had any sympathy for the child. 

    Her angel lived only on the essence of the smelling plant. As if the leaves of the plant carried the child’s soul. Her emotional attachement was represented by a plant she was gifted after being taken to the hospital, for her heart issue. 

   Maragret wipped the tears away from eyes. Her and her family never wanted to leave Mrs.Suzan behind. However, her father's job demanded for them to leave and seek another job. They financially could not afford taking care of her. Or even, Mrs.Suzans family friends would even allow such a thing. Maybe you could say, the universe distanced their toes farther and farther. How can a world be so hard on a woman who only seemed company? Her heart was tied to a family, but cut by one world changing scissor. 

   Maragret brought the Turkish coffees onto a plastic large floral tray. She took one coffee cup and placed it in front of Mrs.Suzan. “Bless your soul” she said to the young woman. 

   Margaret sat across from the elderly women and slowly took a sip of her bitter and sweet coffee. It was like Maragretd soul after all the turmoil she faced within her life. Unable to find the job she dreamed for a decade. All that college studying was washed away... has the economy flunked tremendously to the point, it did not seek Maragret’s education critterias and accomplishments? 

“Can I tell you a story about my daughter” Mrs.Suzan interrupted.

   Margaret did not respond to her question, simply due to the fact, she did not want to hurt the old woman any longer. With all that burden, she did not want to open the wounds for a woman who could not heal them. Mrs.Suzan started nodding her head and took a sigh. 

“I’m not sure if you realized, but I just put my baby into her crib. She was crying a lot before you came. 

“My daughter came into this world because of one drunk night. Still do not remember. However, the best decision. My mother in law lives above me. My husband just went out to work. I’m so happy that you came. Your mother must have been wanting to see the baby for so long” she muttered happily. Maragret nodded with tears in her eyes.

“Yes she did. We both made a promise to never leave you from our side again” 

   Margaret decided to take the challenges of taking care of Mrs.Suzan at that very moment. She did not ever want to give up on a woman who needed assistance and taking care of her. Time flies... she’s a bright young woman. Margaret took out her phone from the guilt and impulse. She texted her mother I will call you very soon. Just saw Mrs.Suzan and wanted to revisit our old home.. she is in need of help” Maraget continues her conversation throughout the day with the elderly woman. They revisited all the stories of the past. From laughing to crying. Again, the elderly woman forgot. The stories were revisited like rereading a book. Chapter by chapter. Page by page. 

    The young woman could not envision herself at age 80. So did Mrs.Suzan. The young woman sipped her coffee in silence and thought “we can never know the life that is ahead of us. Maybe we will be with a huge family of grandchildren or deeply alone looking for someone to talk to. Maybe we will be miserable within life or fortune. Maybe we will be dying young, life cutting our life short. Maybe we haven’t finished writing but our stories are wrapped with a page half full, because our bodies decided to give up. Maybe we will be our utterly lost happiest. Happy with the most simple. Are we all running too fast? Or too slow? How should we move with life to live the most potential? Do we even know what lies ahead of us for the next day? Are we all even sure that the sun will greet us the next morning, and our beautiful eyes will be blessed by it? How long is enough to live a life long? How will I be during my elderly age? How will life be when I need assistance for completing my daily tasks?”

The most important question is who will stand by us by our elderly days?