Stay in Control

CW: Mild language

Maria and I sit down to lunch alone. No other children come to sit at our table. Just me and my best friend. 

“Really, Audrey, don’t you just hate this?” Maria asks. 

Yes, Maria, I do. I really do. 

“I mean, it’s like they don’t even like us. Why should they not like us?” she continues.

Typical Maria. She doesn’t see anything wrong with me. Maria’s new here, so she doesn’t understand why they don’t like me.

 It’s because I’m a freak, I want to say. It’s because they know there’s something wrong with me, and because I’ve killed too many people. 

I’d never say that, but sometimes I really want to. I can feel the anger rising up inside of me, but I quickly try to shut it down. I can’t let my magic get out of control. 

“Audrey?” Maria seems to be becoming worried. “Audrey, are you okay? You’re not talking to me. Don’t you just hate this?” 

Oh, no. I can feel my emotions getting stronger. I can’t lose control, but somehow I know I’m going to. 

Life isn’t fair, nothing is.

***

I didn’t mean to kill her. I never mean to kill anyone. I just lose control. It was just a dream, I remind myself. It’s okay, that’s not happening right now. 

I hate flashbacks. Unfortunately for me, I get them all the time. 

Every time my emotions get too strong something terrible happens. My magic comes out and causes a disaster. Then, I have to fix the damage and make sure no one remembers what happened.

I guess it’s sort of sad, having my life. I have no friends, I can’t feel strong emotions, and my parents are strict and they think I’m a curse. They’re always upset with me. 

You’d think it would be fun, having special abilities and all, but it’s not like that. And I have no one to show my powers. My whole life is based on Stay in control.

I try to forget all the memories loose in my mind and head off to school. Of course, no one remembers Maria. Then I hear a voice in my head. 

Come to me, Audrey, says a calm, musical female voice inside my head. I know your biggest secret. 

What is going on? 

Don’t panic, it’s all right. You and I can do something great together. 

Something about this voice sounds creepy. Evil, even. Like a witch, or a sorceress. Something is off about her. 

I meet her in the bathroom around lunch. Her hair is black as night and wavy. Her eyes a deep blue.

"There you are, Audrey. I've been waiting for you."

What the hell is happening? She is so creepy. I allow my emotions to get out of control. Anger burns deep inside of me. Bright light flashes and the witch disappears from in front of me.

I killed her. And this is the one kill I meant to do.