No More Sunsets

Eleven-year old Dixie sat on the step to small porch of her grandmother’s house, tracing her name in the dried cement. She paused at the end of her name to scratch Sweetie’s head.  Dixie’s mom had brought the pup home as a surprise three months ago.

As she sat there, Dixie watched the sun dip behind the mountains. There were no sunsets in East Kentucky.

“ I guess it’s just you and me now,” Dixie whispered to the pup. The lab mix didn’t respond, but climbed into Dixie’s lap.

 Angel stood in the yard sobbing, holding on to Sandy like to a life preserver. Granny had gone into the house with Ray.

A neighbor came out in her yard and called over, “What’s wrong?”  

Dixie looked at Janet but didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say. Angel didn’t answer either.

Janet asked again, “What’s wrong?”                                                                                  

After the third time Janet asked, Angel yelled, “Brenda’s dead!”

***  ***  ***

Relatives came and went for the next few hours, offering what comfort they could. Dixie sat on that porch step in the dark with her dog, watching the people come and go. Some Dixie knew and some she didn’t. This cousin would smile softly. That great aunt would pat her on the back. One or two stopped to say hi as they went inside.

Later, Roxie led Dixie into her bedroom and tucked her bed. Dixie could hear the adults’ conversations.

“Nellie, what happened ?” different voices asked several times.

“He ran her off the road after work. He shot her and left. His cousin talked him into going back. They picked up Brenda and took her to the hospital,” her grandmother repeated each time, mechanically. 

***  *** ***

Earlier that day, Dixie sat at a table at Druther’s Restaurant. She and Ray had been waiting on her mom to come back, but Ray had left forty-five minutes ago. Ray wasn’t her step-dad anymore; he and her mom had divorced the year before. But Dixie spent every other weekend with him.

One of her mom’s co-workers brought her a drink. “I told your step-dad that I would keep an eye on you until your grandma gets here. If you need anything, let me know.”

After five more minutes, Dixie saw a familiar car pull into the parking lot and she ran out of the door. 

“What happened?” Dixie’s granny asked her when she slipped into the back seat of the car. Aunt Angel looked over the seat at Dixie from the passenger side.

“Ray and I got here to pick Mom up, but she had borrowed Candy’s car to come to us. We waited for her to come back when she saw we weren’t at Ray’s apartment.” Dixie looked back and forth between them. ‘ While we were waiting, the hospital called and asked if Mom had any health insurance. Ray went to the hospital. He came back, got Mom’s manager, and left again. He didn’t say a word to me. I have been sitting here, waiting on you to pick me up.” Dixie said. The backs of her legs stuck to the red vinyl seats of Granny’s Monte Carlo in the September heat. 

Nellie and Angel looked at each other. 

Dixie then said, “Maybe she’s been in a car accident. Maybe she has a broken leg. Maybe a broken arm.”

*** ***  ***

Beside the hospital’s ambulance doors sat a Kentucky State Police vehicle, with the blue lights twirling. There was a shadow sitting in the back seat. Dixie looked in the back seat as she made her way into the hospital with her grandmother and aunt. Inside the car was her mom’s boyfriend. He made eye contact with Dixie and then looked away.

The nurse quietly let them into a cramped storage room, off the main lobby of the Emergency Department.  Half the overhead florescent lights in the closet-sized room were off or didn’t work. The shelves were crammed with bandages, blankest, tongue depressors. 

A doctor walked in a few minutes later wearing a crisp white lab coat. He slowly approached Dixie’s grandmother. Aunt Angel stood at Granny’s side. Dixie peeked around them to see the doctor. 

               The doctor’s hands rubbed over the front of his lab coat. “Ma’am, I am sorry to have to tell you, but your daughter was brought into the Emergency Department this afternoon. We tried everything we could. I am so sorry. She didn’t make it.”

               Dixie’s grandmother’s purse slammed the floor. The sound echoed in the small space. 

               The doctor paused. “She suffered a gun shot wound to the back of the head, behind her left ear. The bullet did significant damage, ricocheting after it penetrated her skull. She wasn’t breathing when he brough her in. She was unresponsive. We tried to resuscitate her, but we were unsuccessful.”

               Nellie never spoke a word. Aunt Angel said, “Where is she? Can we see her?”

               “Sure. We need a little time to take care of her. You can wait in the chapel.”

The doctor led them back through the Emergency Department’s lobby. They entered another corridor at the back of the Emergency Room, where the doctor directed them to the chapel to wait. Ray was already sitting there, his eyes swollen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dixie asked Ray. 

               ***  ***  ***  ***

               Dixie brought up the rear when they entered the funeral chapel. She scooted her feet across the well-worn carpet. The room was narrow but long, and lit with pale pink lighting. 

               She approached the casket. Dixie’s grandmother stood at her daughter’s side and held her hand. 

               “If only I could just warm her up. She’s so cold.” Nellie kept rubbing Brenda’s hand.  

               Dixie stayed in the kitchen during the funeral. She sat in the empty room, snacking on the food that family had brought in. Her nine-year old cousin came in the kitchen. 

               “I don’t know what to say. I’ve never known anyone whose mom has died,” he said. Patrick sat down beside Dixie and kept her company. He didn’t say anything else.

The next day, her mom was buried in the family cemetery next to her great – grandmother and grandfather

***  ***  ***

After the funeral, people gathered at Dixie’s grandmother’s house. 

Dixie sat on the small porch, tracing her name in the dried cement. She paused at the end of her name to scratch Sweetie’s head. Dixie’s mom had brought the pup home as a surprise three months ago.