Mind

They want to take me; I feel it radiating off their skin. Their grey, lifeless bodies move toward me slowly and sensually. They always want what they can’t have. They will never be able to have this. They are not capable. What I have is not easy; it’s a burden, really. 

It’s a burden to be deeply wanted, but never truly feel a connection. The connection has never been there.

Their lips start moving in unison, I know they are trying to keep me from moving, and at this point, I can’t tell if what they are doing is working or if it’s my fear keeping me immobile.  

I mentally push myself to move a muscle, and my mind starts screaming at my body to run. One leg moves backward, my other leg slowly lifts off the ground, and I turn as fast as I can. Seems like what they are trying isn’t working, so my hope slips back. I run.

It’s so dark here; there is only light from the green glowing moss on the tree trunks, but it’s such a small glow that I can’t see my feet. I slow down a moment, I can’t hear their chants anymore, and I need to catch my breath. I am also afraid to face plant into a tree. If I could just find my way out, out of what though?

The chants start to become clear again, so I pick up my feet, put my arms out, and walk this time. I can feel their desire, I feel their need to pull me from myself and absorb my energy for their own needs and wants. It’s all selfish really. 

My ability to see the future is not such a beautiful ability, regardless of what you would believe. I can rarely change the outcome, and it’s only ever changeable if I am directly involved with the outcome. I can escape danger before it comes, but not always, obviously. 

I knew this day would come. I knew I would feel terrified, I knew I would be hunted. All the vision showed me was a dark forest, their lifeless faces, and my body shaking on the ground. I could not avoid this. No matter how hard I tried. 

I have another ability, to see people, see their element and their powers, that gift is always on point. Maybe that is what they are trying to steal from me?

I can see who a person is even if they don’t know who they are themselves. But that ability isn’t truly a blessing either. It helps me understand others, I am able to communicate efficiently with them, and it gives me an edge. However, it’s more of a tool to help others. If I can understand them, that helps them feel validated and more able to understand themselves. 

A hand grabs me from behind around my waist and the other hand covers my mouth. I let out a squeal, but I am not going to scream, i will not give them the satisfaction.

I am frightened; the sweat is dripping from the tips of my fingers, and I can feel a drop sliding down my neck. The tears that were forming in my eyes fall onto this hand. Wait a minute… this hand. Not their hand. I can feel this man, he’s like me, he is not them. He has a heartbeat. He doesn’t want me the way they do. He doesn’t need me the way they do. He’s pulling me in a direction, I have no idea if it’s north, south, east, or west. 

We stop after what has felt like hours. He pulls his hand away from my mouth, but his other hand lingers on my hip, strong, firm, and steadying. I take a deep breath. I can feel his heat from the opened palm through my shirt, and from his chest against my back. He slowly backs away and finally releases his hand from my hip.

It is still pitch black where we are, I cannot see anything, not even a glow from the trees. I turn around to face him, but like I said black is all I see, I don’t even see a silhouette of the man who was holding me and dragging me for miles. 

“Where are we?” My voice comes out as a whisper. This place is so silent, making it sound as if I am yelling. 

“We are not anywhere” His voice is low and deep; it echoes through the dark and encompasses my entire body making me feel like I am floating. 

I whisper again “What do you mean” I feel lightheaded, dizzy, and sad. 

“Where we are is nowhere, it is not a place, it is a state.” He speaks in riddles, and my head throbs from trying to decipher it. 

“A state?” I pause and question myself. “A state of mind” I say with realization. I am in the state of mind, the final state. The place I have been envisioning for years now. This isn’t just a matter of seeing the future, this is the final destination before I can escape. 

“If this is a state of mind, can’t I just change it then?” I wonder aloud, hopeful, so very hopeful. I speak “I wish there could be light” and suddenly appears lanterns on trees surrounding us. The light is dim, but I can see my feet. I stretch out my arms and can see the tips of my fingers finally. Then I see him.

He is a dream. His face is exactly what I imagined it to be. Polished with wisdom in his eyes, a dark abyss. His build is strong, but the way he held me was so gentle. His skin looks as smooth as ice.

I hear a screech in the distance, and my heart rate increases immediately. “Are they still after me?” 

“In this state of mind, they will not stop.”

I’m lost, I am confused. In which state of mind am I in? I have never felt this hopeless before. I have never felt so low and abandoned. Nothing here is familiar. The thought of going back does not tempt me in the slightest. I feel a tug towards good. Towards the light, but not back to that. Not back to that type of brainwashing.

I search his black eyes, looking for an answer. His head tilts in curiosity, and with patience, he takes three deep breaths. “Where do I go?” my voice straining, I choke back a sob bubbling up my throat. “You,” he begins walking towards a door attached to a cabin, I hadn't noticed that before, “can finally choose…” I can choose. “I choose him.”

My confidence doesn’t falter, the truth has finally poured out of me, and now there is nothing I can do, there is no going back now. I chose, with honesty. 

The lights fade around me, and this man’s back blurs into the tops of trees stretched into a deep blue sky. 

...to be continued...in another dream, or state of mind?