Be Careful What You Wish For

Once upon a time, quite a few years ago while out shopping, I kept asking my Father for a fish I had seen in the marketplace. It was a beautiful fish, one I was sure was meant for me because it looked just like the one I had been wishing for, but my Father refused to let me have it and I began to get upset.

 "Why" I said, "Why can't I have him?  He is so handsome and charming. Look at him Father. He is just perfect for me, and we would be so good for each other. I can see he likes me, Father. Look, see how he looks at me! I know he wants to be with me and I want to have him. Please, Father, can I have him?  Will you give him to me? Please."

"No" my Father said. "Child, he is not for you. He will not make you happy. He will only hurt you because he is not what you see him to be. Trust me."

As my Father said this he led me away, and out of the store.

Sadly I kept looking back, wanting my own way, resisting my Father’s advice, for I just knew this fish was meant for me.

 In the hours that followed I just couldn’t get that fish out of my mind, I kept thinking of him and wishing he was mine. I decided I had to somehow convince my Father that he was wrong, and that this fish was something that would be good for me. For why else would I have happened to see him and fall in love with him!  Surely, he had to be alright. He was so beautiful and the way he looked at me when I first saw him just melted my heart.

 He looked so lonely and I was lonely too, so what could possibly be wrong with him? Surely my Father was mistaken, this fish was harmless, he wouldn’t hurt me. How could my Father think such a thing!

 It really didn't matter that he wasn't exactly the fish I had originally asked my Father for, he would be ok. He had some of the qualities I had been looking for and perhaps in time he would grow to be just like the fish I had always wanted. Yes, that's it, once I had him, he would change and become all I wanted him to be, because I would love him enough to make him change.

I told my Father this, but, my Father still said "No".

He said, "It will cost you too much and it will never change."

“Whatever do you mean, Father?”  I cried.

“How could ‘it cost me too much’?”  “That fish was a lot less expensive than the other ones I had previously wanted!”

But my Father just seemed to ignore me. The more I begged and pleaded he just remained silent. How could he be so un-caring? I thought he loved me. Why wouldn’t he give me something I wanted so much? I just couldn’t understand my Father’s way of thinking.

So, I decided I wouldn't listen to him.

 I walked away from him, turned around, and ran back to the store.

Before I entered I looked defiantly back at my Father waiting for him to give in and join me, but he just stood silent, watching me sadly, as I disregarded His advice.  He didn’t try to stop me.

He just let me go to have my way. He stood by as I paid the high price of disobedience and took home what I thought was my beautiful fish. He kept silent as I cared for my fish, and he watched as the fish began to consume me, and change me, instead of me changing it.

 It began to poison me, until I nearly died.

In my sorrow and weakness I cried out “Father, help me! I’m sorry! I should have listened to you! Forgive me, please! I need your help.”

At that time, my Father stepped in and revealed to me what he had known all along.  That the fish was not at all what it appeared to be.  For some reason I had not been able to understand or see it as so before, but this time it seemed that blinders fell off my eyes and I was able to see as never before!  I saw now what my Father had seen all along. What I saw was not a fish at all, but a poisonous snake!  This realization came to me just in time, and I let the fish imposter go before he could harm me anymore or kill me.

I was shocked, scared, and so sorry that I had not trusted my Father and accepted His advice. I realized that all the time I had been asking for this fish my Father was saying "No" because he knew it was not a fish but a poisonous snake. I realized my Father only wanted to give me good things and would never give me something that would harm me, but foolishly I would not trust him, and chose to make my own decision instead.

A decision that nearly cost me my life!

I have scars now that will be a reminder to me of that experience, and I hope that they will always cause me to remember to trust in my Father's wisdom and take his word before I act on something.

 I hope that I will always be able to remember that my Father sees things I don't and that he only wants the best for me. And when he says "No" to something I want, it is only because it is not good for me. I need to trust him in that and move on, because he will always provide me with something much better instead.

Perhaps someday, my Father will lead me to find a beautiful fish and it will be a real one, one that will be right for me and that will not cause me harm, but until he does, if indeed, he ever does or doesn't, I will trust him and follow him always.  

For: "What Father, if His son asks for a fish would give him a snake instead?"  Matthew 7:10