One More Breath

It was during the wedding that I was starting to feel a tiny bit nervous about my performance at the reception, but I told myself that it’ll be okay. While I sat through what felt like the longest wedding in the history of weddings, I silently went over the dance steps that my aunt, the bride, and I choreographed. It’s not like I’ve never danced before in front of people, because I have. In fact, I danced the night before the wedding at the formal introduction of the bride and groom’s families that always takes place before an Indian wedding.

After what seemed like a million years, the wedding guests made their way to the reception area. A few other people were also doing stuff for the happy couple, so I had time before I went on. I was crazy nervous about this because I wanted it to be perfect for the bride and groom. Plus, it isn’t easy dancing in a full length lehenga, which is like an Indian prom dress. There were so many things that could go wrong, but I tried not to focus on the negative and more on the positive.

One, I absolutely love dancing. I mean, I’ve been dancing since I was a toddler. Two, it’ll be fun and not that big a deal if I mess up. Three, three, three… I can’t think of a three! Oh my gosh, I’m starting to really freak out now. What if I fall on my face during the dance? What if I forget the steps and just stand there looking like an idiot? What if I dance so badly, I get “boo”ed at? What if… no, I can’t think like that, I’ll just stress myself out even more. Maybe I’ll eat some gulab jamun and just calmly wait for my time to dance. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

While I sat and tried to eat, the groom’s brother was giving some sort of speech about how happy he was for his brother and some other stuff. I was too nervous to pay attention or eat. After his speech, my mom came and sat by me. She told me that the DJ had my music and I was due to dance in half an hour, right after she gives her speech as the bride’s sister. Wow, having to follow up Mom is not an easy task. I’m sure her speech is so well written that people will still be marveling over it as I’m dancing.

I sat through the next twenty-something minutes and starting to make my way to the stage entrance. While I stretched, for the fear I might pull a muscle, I could hear the last couple words of my mom’s speech.

“I’m grateful that my little sister has married a kind, intelligent man and an all-around a perfect fit for her. Thank you.”

As the host took back the mic, my mom came to where I was standing. She gave me a hug and told me that I would do great.

My mom probably picked up on my nervous energy because she gave one last piece of advice, “Just take one more breath before getting on stage.”

I was crazy nervous and scared out of my mind. I couldn’t even think of the names of the songs I was dancing to. My heart was pounding super-fast and I could barely even register what my mom was telling me. The more I waited for the host to call my name, the more nervous I got. On my watch, I checked my heart rate, which was 164 beats per minute. I was about to get hit with another wave of nervousness, but then I remembered what my mom told me just a minute earlier.

“Just take one more breath.”

One more breath…

I walked up the steps to the stage as the host of the reception was introducing me. Right before the music started, I took one more breath. I cleared my head of all thoughts and let my body do the work. I had worked on this dance so much, it was like muscle memory. Since my dance was to a medley of three songs, I just shifted from one song to the next. By the end of the middle song, I spotted my mom with her camera. I rolled my eyes in my head, but I was glad she was proud enough to film my dance.

The whole dance was done before I knew it. After I bowed to the audience, I made my way to my aunt and uncle, took a couple pictures, and received compliments on the dance.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?”

“Wow that was really good!”

“Can you teach me to dance?”

Honestly, I wasn’t really paying attention to any of it. I was just so happy that I got through the dance without forgetting my steps, falling on my face, or any of the other stuff I was so worried about.

When my mom started talking to me about how good the dance was and how she was super proud of me for getting over my anxiety and the way I danced like nothing was wrong, I couldn’t do anything but smile. Making my mom proud is always on the top of my to-do list, and now I can check it off, along with getting over my anxiety before a performance and setting the record for lowest amount of gulab jamuns eaten at an Indian wedding.

After all the performances were done, my aunt came over to the table my mom and I were sitting at. She sat down and told me that she has never seen anyone dance like I did before. Even though she didn’t say it, I could tell she had also been nervous about me dancing. I told her it wasn’t easy, especially after sitting through a super long wedding, my bones were stiff. She laughed and started to talk to my mom about her speech.

I wasn’t really paying attention because the DJ had put on one of the songs I danced to. I grabbed my aunt’s hand and made her dance with me. After the song was over, we sat down again and talked about where she would settle down with her new husband. Just sitting there, with my mom and aunt, I realized how lucky I am to have such great influences to give me all the advice I needed to make it through any obstacle that comes my way. Whether it is worrying about a test grade or being nervous about a performance, the same piece of advice keeps coming back to me.

“Just take one more breath.”