So far away...

“Thomas, are you feeling well?”

     I opened my eyes to see myself seated at a table, eating a meal with a girl. She didn’t seem that much older than me, but despite the feeling that I’ve seen her before I can’t remember anything about her.

     “Um, who are you?” I asked, not taking my eyes off of her.

     The girl wiped her face slowly with a napkin before locking eyes with me. A tear ran down her cheek, but her voice didn’t waver.

     “You can call me Pam. How is the food? I feel like it’s a bit too salty.”

     I looked down at my plate. The corner of the stake was bitten off, but I don’t remember tasting it. The same goes for the fries.

    My head was slightly pounding, but I tried to direct my attention on the matter at hand: I can’t remember anything.

     Yes, I know my name is Thomas. Yes, I identify as male and I… that’s it.

     “Can you tell me—”

     “Follow me.” She said as she got up from the table.

     I quickly wanted to follow but as soon as I tried getting up I fell back in the chair. For a sixteen-year-old, I felt extremely rigid— old even.

     Eventually, I managed to pull myself up using the table as a support. Pam was standing next to an open door, staring as if lost in space.

     I walked sluggishly down the white hall. It was almost blinding, but it somehow didn’t bother my eyes. The lack of decoration made me even more curious as to where I was since it didn’t look like a house or like a restaurant.

     When I arrived next to her, I was about to ask her if she knew me when she motioned for me to shut up, hovering her finger over her red lips.

     My eyes followed her lost gaze at the scene beyond the doorway.

     It led outside. The sun was shining brightly upon two figures, but it was so bright that my eyes couldn’t really make out the faces. I could hear their laughter though, as they chased one another on the green field.

     “Why does this feel familiar…” I voiced my thoughts but Pam didn’t seem to notice my words.

     After a while, she started talking but her eyes were still glued to the couple.

     “That girl is me, and that guy is my boyfriend…” Her soft voice echoed through the hallway. “That was our one month anniversary and I took him to this quiet little place in the middle of a field. He first thought I was planning to kill him—” a chuckle escaped her lips before she continued talking. “But really I knew he enjoyed the quietness of nature.”

     After finishing, she suddenly started walking further down the hallway. I looked at the beautiful scenery one last time before following her like a lost puppy. I felt unusually calm, despite the circumstances.

     By now, there were dozens of doors of different shapes and sizes, but Pam seemed to be looking for a specific one.

     At last, she stopped in front of a brown door. On top of the door, there was the number 431.

     Wait, isn’t the number of my house 43—

     “Agh!” I gasped as pain shot through my arm. I held it desperately, watching as a blinding light started cracking through my wrist.

     Pam looked at me before she walked over. Her hand then hovered over the light erupting from my wrist, and before I knew it the pain was gone.

     “What—?”

     “Come.” She then walked back to the door.

     I conformed, walking up to the door once again.

     This time, the door led to another room. The sun was nowhere to be seen, instead, rain was pouring down on the window.

     Suddenly, a guy entered the room smiling at two people behind him before closing the door. As soon as he closed the door, his expression changed from one of happiness to one of despair. He slowly crumpled to the floor, shaking and crying silently.

     I couldn’t see his face this time either, as the hood he was wearing was covering his face.

     “My boyfriend was a master of acting. He got everyone to think he was this happy, smart teen boy with a bright future ahead of him— no one knew what was really going on with him.”

     I knew what followed, somehow. I knew he was going to go to the desk, open the drawer, move the books aside and grab a sharp small razor.

     “Let’s move on…”

     My eyes slowly fell to the ground. My chest started feeling tight as if I was about to cry but no tears escaped my eyes.

     A feeling of déjà vu came over me, however, I couldn’t pinpoint the exact events. My head was full of questions, but a theory was starting to form based on what I’ve seen.

     “Was your boyfriend’s name Thomas, by any chance?”

     Pam smiled, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she stopped at another door.

     I also stopped next to her, observing another scene with the two characters. The two were having a fight, yelling at each other and tensing up.

     “It’s true, we also had our fair share of fights but…”

     She didn’t continue, but she didn’t need to as the girl hugged the guy out of nowhere. The guy pushed her away, but she kept on hugging him until he gave up and started calming down.

     “We would always get over them, together.” Pam said, gazing at the scene.

     “What happened? Why are we here, wherever this is, and why can’t I remember anything?”

     Pam glanced at me before smiling once again. Her smile managed to calm my racing heart, but my head was still full of questions.

     “Why aren’t you— UGH!”

     A loud beep rang in my ears, bringing back the pounding of my head. I was crouching on the ground, clawing at my head as the migraine wouldn’t stop.

     Thomas, please wake up…

     Pam’s voice echoed in my ears, but it didn’t come from the girl in front of me… No, it was like Pam was inside my head.

     My eyes were covered with layers of tears, but I forced myself to look at Pam. She met my eyes with pity, but this time she didn’t try to help.

     Slowly, the migraine disappeared but before I could get up my wrist started glowing again. This time, the pain was replaced by a warm feeling, so I tried to ignore it. Not many good things happened when I tried to question things like this anyway…

     “Get up, we still have a bit to see.”

     I did as she asked me to, and followed her once again down the white hall up to another door. This one was made out of white wood and it had little stickers pinned on it.

“One day, he told me about his feelings…” She said opening the door to another room.

The moonlight was shining on the couple as they sat on a bench in the park. Pam was almost crying as her boyfriend talked to her, but as he finished she hugged him instantly.

     “But he didn’t tell me everything, therefore I didn’t know what to do to help him.” Pam’s eyes slowly lowered to my glowing wrist.

     I didn’t dare speak. If my theory is true, I seem to be a real headache to deal with.

     “You weren’t. Things just got worse quicker than any of us thought, but it was not your fault.”

     My eyes were probably as wide as a baseball ball by the time she finished. On top of everything happening— mind reading is not something I would’ve seen coming.

     Pam started walking once again, ignoring my confusion once more.

     “And at last, the thing I feared most happened.”

     This time, we didn’t stop at a door. We stopped at a large doorframe that pictured… me. I was in a hospital bed with someone crying beside me.

     Then, like a lightning, it all came back in an instant.

Pam, my family, my friends, me.

The bright light from my wrist started spreading up my arm, and I finally understood everything.

A tear ran across my cheek, followed by another. When I looked back besides me, the Pam that led me here was no longer present. My eyes then darted back to the image, watching helplessly as a doctor came in and told the girl something that made her cry even harder.

I tried running to her, but an invisible wall seemed to exist in the doorframe. My fist started banging on it, but it was to no use.

My knees gave out beneath me, and I didn’t try to get up as I knew it would be pointless.

 “I’m so sorry, I love you…” I whispered underneath my breath as the light engulfed me.