A Winter Wonder

I stared out the glass window. Snowflakes tumbled down in a flurry. Winter’s slavering fangs had devoured the last leaves from trees, leaving dark skeletal branches edged in white. Snow weighed down pine boughs. White layered the cars and buildings and icicles hung from eaves. I touched the cold window, as a thin sliver of sunshine pierced through the thick clouds and sparkled the snow. Snowmen were built in everyone’s backyards. Winter’s whining winds didn’t rid the people of the neighborhood from their joviality. The kids laughing and playing with each other on the snow-kissed hills, the people- bundled in puffy coats, colorful scarves, warm mittens and cozy earmuffs-wishing one another “g’day mate!”, even the fire in the fireplace crackled and sparked with delight. I stared at them all with envy filled in my eyes, for I could never have what they all take for granted. I look in the mirror, and all I see are scars, darkness and pain. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a hearty smile on my face, I couldn’t remember a lot of things, actually. What could I recall? I closed my eyes . "Think. Think." I told myself. I remember hearing a siren- I wasn’t sure if it was the police or the ambulance. Lots of blood shed. A near death pain piercing its way through my head. It lasted for an uncomfortably long time. I couldn’t move. I tried and tried, but I couldn’t even twitch. My head was numb, and I felt like I was in hell. A green light blinded me, and it disappeared after some time. It was replaced by a whalebone white light. Everything was still blurry, but eventually became clear. I could move again. I slowly sat up straight, not knowing where I was. I saw a familiar face. She gave me a warm, cozy feeling inside, the closest I’ve ever felt to something people refer to as ‘joy’. She took me to her home, protected me, cared for me. But why? Who was she? Why did she seem so familiar? I opened my eyes again. I clenched my fist and banged on the window. Every time I try to remember, this was all I could recall, with more questions-waiting to be answered-than last time. Answers I fear I can never find. I let out a sigh that fogged the window. I closed my eyes, when i heard clicking footsteps. She walked up to me. That pleasant face sent Kama Muta coursing through my veins. She made me feel like all hope was not lost yet. She touched me on my shoulder and grinned. I stared into her deep blue eyes and felt nothing but comfort. “We used to go sledding down that hill every Sunday in Winter. You used to love it,” she said, pointing to a hill in the distance. “Do you remember?” her gracious smile slowly faded away and her fingers started twitching. I thought and thought and thought. I had to remember, at least for her. But nothing. I was hopeless. I just stared back at her, not uttering a word. Her shoulders dropped, and she lowered her head, pressing her lips. That look she had in her eyes, that disappointing look made me want to kill myself. She had that impression every time I couldn’t remember. It was torture. She wiped a tear and plastered a smile back on here face. I felt relief flood me, along with a tiny speck of doubt wondering if that smile was fake. “Come on. I wanna show you something” she said. She walked towards the door and took her coat hanging on the hook. She put hers on and handed me mine. I wore mine and we both walked out the door. I wasn’t sure where we were headed, but she seemed to know. My boots crunched through the powdered snow, leaving footprints behind. They detonated like Christmas crackers every time my feet hit the ground. The fresh winter scent went up my nose and almost froze it. A few minutes later, she came to a stop. We where at an ice rink, it was completely empty. She went to a shop nearby a got a pair of ice skates. She gave them to me. I took the from her hand and put them on. “Go on. Go skate” she said. I didn’t know how to skate, what did she want me to do? I hesitantly stepped onto the frozen surface, and slipped. I looked back at her, she was standing there, with that look on her face. No. I could do this. If she wants me to skate, there has to be a reason to it. I got up and pushed. I glided over the blue ice and slid across the rink. I had been here before, I don’t know why, I don’t know when, and I couldn’t even recall the rink, but I had been here before. I just knew it, something inside of me was bursting to get out. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pushed and glided, and before I knew it, I was twirling in the air and striking perfect landings. The cold winter breeze bit me in the cheeks, as I skated across the rink. But how? I didn’t care about that, the way she was smiling, like never before. That was all that mattered. I skated over to her. She unlocked her phone and showed me a video. It took me a second to realize it was me, skating in front of a huge audience. The crowd was roaring, I was incredible. But when did that happen? How was I so good? Suddenly, my head started spinning. I collapsed on the cold ground. The snow sent a cold vibe into my body. She quickly kneeled down and grabbed me. My breathing was bursting in and out. Despite the freezing weather, I was sweating like I was in Hawaii. “Are you ok! What happened!” She asked, panicked. I looked at her and smiled. I coughed out a laugh and said “I remember”.