Woman's Best Friend

           They say that dogs are a man’s best friend, but I am here to tell you, that is not always the case.

           It started back just less than one year ago. I was living life to its fullest and loving every minute of it. The boys and I would get together once a week to play cards, and at least once a week, we would hit the bars to check out the latest eye candy.

           I had confidence, charm, and decent looks, so finding a prospect for the night was usually a simple task. That was, until SHE walked in.

           It was Saturday night, and as usual, my boys and I were at our favorite watering hole, a place called Rusty Nail. The owner, Matt “Rusty” Hanson was tending bar that night along with his smoking hot wife, Sarah.

“What’ll it be, Gary?” Sarah asked. I ordered my usual, Michelob Ultra, and returned to the table. Just as I sat down, a group of girls in their twenties walked through the door.

           The last to enter was a stunning redhead. She had a look on her face that told me she didn’t really want to be there. I took that as a challenge to make her change her mind.

           The ladies took a seat at a table adjacent to ours, and I waited for them to get settled in and order their drinks before I made my move. Once Peggy, their server, took their order, I pulled Peggy to the side and told her that I was going to pay for their first round of drinks.

           As the drinks were served, Peggy told them that the drinks had been paid for, and just as I hoped, I was invited over to the table. One-by-one, they introduced themselves and thanked me for the drinks, but when it came to the redhead, she barely acknowledged my existence. I received a quick, “Thanks,” and that was it.

           I called my boys over and introduced them to the girls. When the next song came on, the guys asked the ladies up to dance. I asked the redhead, but she refused, so I sat with her while the others walked to the dance floor.

           Finally, the redhead spoke up and said, “Listen, I appreciate the drink and all, but I am not here looking for a good time. I am just here because my friends pressured me into it.”

           “Can I at least have your name?” I asked.

           “Natalie,” she said hesitantly.

           “Well, Natalie, since bars aren’t your scene, what do you like to do for fun?”

           Natalie was not in the mood for small talk. I could tell that from the start, but if I could find out what interests she had, then maybe I could sway her to open up a bit more.

           She hesitated before answering. “Dogs,” she said. “Well animals in general, but I like dogs the most.”

           “I love dogs,” I lied. Well, that wasn’t a total lie. I do love dogs, but dogs don’t seem to like me. I had a lot of bad luck with them since I was a child. I remember a Pitbull that seemed to wait for me each day when I was walking home from school. He would let every other student walk past without even flinching, but as soon as he caught my scent, I would have to run as quickly as I could to avoid being pummeled by the four-legged fiend.

           I even had a battery-powered toy dog one time as a young boy, and the damn thing electrocuted me! Needless to say, I try to avoid all dogs as much as I can.

           As the evening progressed, I seemed to warm her over, but all she wanted to talk about was her French Bulldog that she named, “Precious.” Even when I got her up to dance, she continued to tell me how much Precious means to her, and that she looks forward to seeing him once she got back home that night. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake with this challenge, but I was too ashamed to lose face in front of my boys.

           At the end of the night, a few of Natalie’s friends left with my friends, including the girl who Natalie got a ride with, so I offered to drive her back home. We pulled into her driveway, and she thanked me, then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before getting out of the car. She began to walk away but stopped in her tracks and turned back. She opened the door again and asked if I would like her number. I had her text it to my phone and I sent mine to her, then said goodnight. I thought that was the last I was going to see of her, but I was wrong.

           The following morning, I was still laying in bed trying to recover from the night before when I received a text message. It was from Natalie.

           “Hey Gary, I just wanted to thank you again for being such a gentleman last night. If you are interested, I work at Tim’s Café on Beech Street, and I have a break between 12:00 and 12:30 today if you want to stop by.”

           “Hi Natalie,” I replied. “I had fun last night. I hope Precious wasn’t mad at me for keeping you out so late. LOL. I will see you at noon.”

           “LOL. You are so funny. Okay, see you at noon. 😊”

           I dragged my lazy butt out of bed and hopped into the shower. After shaving and finding some clean clothes, I hopped in my car and headed downtown to Tim’s Café. It was 11:55 AM, and Natalie was still behind the counter taking orders.

           “Welcome to Tim’s,” she said. “How may I serve you today?”

           “Well, Natalie, is it?” I asked pointing at her name tag. “I will take a large Hazelnut Latte and a cinnamon Danish, but only if you can join me at my table.”

           Natalie smiled and said, “I think that can be arranged. Your order will be ready shortly, sir.”

           We sat and sipped on our drinks, and I told her a bit about myself and found out more about her life. It turned out that she and I went to the same elementary school, but I was a grade above her. We began to reminisce about the teachers we had and found out we had mutual friends as well. I was becoming more interested in this strange redheaded girl.

           Before Natalie got back to work, I asked her if she would like to go out for dinner that night. She accepted and I headed back home. I made reservations at an Italian restaurant that I had taken other women to in the past. I knew the maître d’ and he set us up with the best table. It was next to the window and overlooked a beautiful garden that came to life with fireflies after dark. It looked like a thousand people holding lighters up at a concert.

           Natalie dressed in a black lace mini dress. I hadn’t noticed her figure until that moment. Until then, I had only seen her in baggy clothes or her work uniform which was anything but attractive. Her long hair flowed across her bare shoulders, and her blue eyes exploded with color in the candlelight. I found myself drawn to her beauty.

           “Are you just going to sit and stare at me all night?” she asked with a laugh.

           I was awakened from my trance and felt embarrassed.

           “I am so sorry. You just look so beautiful tonight.”

           “You don’t look half bad yourself,” she replied.

           It was a delicious dinner and we both left the restaurant holding our bellies because of how full they were. We decided to burn off some of the extra calories by taking a walk. Natalie suggested that they go back to her place, and she would get Precious so he could walk with us. I was not keen on the idea, but I wanted to make her happy, so I went along with it.

           As soon as she walked out of the front door, Precious began to bark at me, but Natalie told him to hush, and he lowered his tone to an occasional growl. We walked down to the riverside. The water was rushing by quickly below. Fragments of debris from fallen trees, old tires, and dead fish raced across the cold, deep water.

           I stood next to the edge and Natalie begged me to stand further back, but I didn’t listen. That was when I felt tiny little teeth pierce through my pant leg and puncture my skin. I screamed out with pain, kicking Precious off me, then I lost my balance and fell twenty feet into the rapids below.

           I felt the cold engulf my body as I fought to stay afloat, but the current was too strong, and I was quickly becoming hypothermic. I felt something hard slam against the back of head, then everything went black.

           I’m not sure how long I was out, but when I awoke, I found myself staring up at Natalie. We appeared to be on her bed. I assumed she pulled me from the river somehow.

           “Come see mommy, Precious,” she said. I looked around in fear that her little demon dog was going to take another chunk out of my skin, but I couldn’t see him anywhere.

           “Come see mommy,” she repeated, but nothing. “What’s wrong with you today, Precious?”

           Natalie reached down toward me and with incredible strength, she pulled me up to her chest. I was thinking that I was going to get lucky. Perhaps, she felt sorry for me after her dog caused me to fall off the cliff. Whatever the reason, I was enjoying it.

           “You’re drooling all over me, you bad boy,” Natalie said. “Now I need to change my shirt.” She pushed me to the side and got out of bed, shedding her wet blouse. I watched joyfully as she walked across the room in her red lace bra. I began to tell her how great she looked, but it came out as, “Bark!”

           “What’s the matter, baby? Do you feel bad for making mommy all wet? That’s okay, I forgive you.”

           Natalie walked toward me, leaned over, and kissed my head. “What’s happening?” I asked myself. She picked me up like I weighed nothing and danced with me around the room. When we passed the mirror, I glanced in. I saw Natalie, but it wasn’t me in her arms, it was Precious! Was I having a nightmare? I was so confused.

           “Mommy loves you so much, Precious. You don’t seem yourself today. Are you okay? I bet you are still shaken up after what happened to Gary, aren’t you?”

           “What happened to Gary? Was she trying to say that I died? But if I am dead, how could I be here, and in the body of this dog?”

           “I think Precious needs his belly rubbed. Does Precious want a belly rub?” I couldn’t control myself. I found myself struggling in her arms. She set me down on the bed and rolled me over onto my back. As soon as her fingers began caressing my belly, I felt like I had died and gone to Heaven…well, so to speak. I felt my tongue hanging out the side of my mouth.

           I had a choice; I could either panic over the fact that I was no longer alive, or I could accept the fact that I was a dog and would be able to hang around my redheaded beauty all the time now. I chose the latter.

           Natalie finished dressing and went out to the kitchen to make breakfast. I followed. She poured some kibble into a bowl and set it on the floor in front of me. I looked up at her with a look of disgust. Well, I think I had that look. I was a dog and all.

           She seemed to understand that my stomach wanted more than dry dog food this morning, so once her bacon cooled down enough, she threw me a couple slices. They were delicious. I tried to beg for more, but she refused.

           “You don’t need all those fried foods, Precious. They aren’t good for you. I’m sure they aren’t good for me either, but my body can manage it better than yours. Why don’t we go for a walk after we eat?”

           We walked around the block. That bacon must have gone right through me because I felt the need to have a bowel movement. I couldn’t contain it any longer. I found a nice piece of grass, squatted, and let it loose. I was so embarrassed to do this in front of Natalie, but I’m sure Precious did it plenty of times before I took over his body.

           We went back to the apartment and Natalie turned on the television. A local reporter on the Channel 9 News talked about a tragic death that took place at Sparrow River. They reported that a man fell into the river and drowned. The police had almost ruled out suicide but were looking into his background to be sure. I looked at Natalie. Tears trickled down her cheeks. I guess she did care for me in the brief time we knew one another. I walked over, stood in front of her, and stared up at her. She bent over and picked me up.

           “You always know when I am feeling sad, don’t you Precious? I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you to come home to. Of course, I do miss Gary too. I only wish you two would have gotten along better. Gary reminded me of you a bit, you know.”

           “We are more alike than you can imagine,” I thought.

           As the days passed, I began to grow accustomed to my life as a dog. We did everything together. We went for walks, ate meals together. We even bathed together on several occasions. Of course, that was because I jumped into the tub before asking for approval. By the third time, she gave up trying to keep me out and asked me to join her. This new life of mine was better than I could have ever expected. I found myself falling deeper in love with her with each passing day.

           I came to realize that I was something of a dog in my previous life with the way I treated women, but now that I am an actual dog, I have a deeper respect for the fairer sex, and I have now become a woman’s best friend.