the way home

Surprise, surprise, were moving again. We are running from Texas. Forty schools, eight years, five kids all numbers my mother was counting. Un beknownst to me we were running from my real father Butch. It’s an unclear story as to why exactly. I was nine I was in the back of a rusty old baby poop colored pick-up truck with my two older siblings Greg and Patie. It was piled high with all our belongings. Garbage bags full of stuff that we kids packed ourselves. After eight years you get used to picking your favorites in a pinch. Your favorite jeans you put on, maybe you were allowed to grab a stuffed animal and a toy. The middle of the night pack ups were the worst, getting woken up at 1 o’clock in the morning and grabbing everything you can fit in a garbage bag and on to the next town the next life. These midnight adventures came with the most whining as I look back, I was probably the biggest whiner, yet I had no tolerance for the outcries of my brothers or sister. We were sitting on top of everything we owned like the Clampetts or something. We were sitting on a mattress, that was even with the rail of the truck.

 It was cold and windy, my hair stinging my face like horse whips the wind taking my breath away. My mind wondering where we were headed this time as we drove for days it was a long trek. We were headed north as it was getting colder as we drove. We only had light jackets and a blanket to share. State after state we drove, we didn’t stop allot. My stepdad had stolen the truck from his job in Texas and they were worried about making it somewhere safe, so we were hauling ass. My older brother was by one edge my sister in the middle and myself on the other edge. My sister was a scary mess while my brother always had a proud strength even as a kid. I was in and out of sleep I trained myself for the long car rides to watch the telephone poles and let it lull me to sleep. Thinking about what new life I was going to encounter would we have a house would it have a bathroom, maybe my sister and I could share a room. As something flew out the back, we all started to scream and pound on the window, and as the truck comes to a screeching halt we have to hold on for dear life. We got yelled at because it was just a coffee pot, and it’s dangerous to pull over on the freeway. In the front seat is my stepdad daddy Jim my mom and my 2 younger siblings Mike and Matt.

 My step daddy Jim now there was a brooding soul. He looked like he always had something on his mind (probably how did I get myself into this mess). A tall lanky man 6 foot 3 180 lbs. A very good man though maybe not if you ask my mom. As a kid though first man that I ran into that didn’t want to touch me inappropriately. He didn’t take no shit from us, yet he must’ve had a hard time providing we were squatting all over Texas. Willing to take on five kids that weren’t his. The story I remember is that my daddy Jim was hitchhiking, and we were driving by and my mom stopped and picked him up. We drove a couple towns over, and we go to a courthouse and they get married. Now we change our last name to Backus. We then start living a tumultuous life with daddy Jim all over Texas. I remember living in projects. Living outside on a few occasions. Homeless shelters and hotels.

 We’re home we’re done, running? We pull into the driveway of my grandparents’ house in Michigan there's a big black van with gold stripes sitting there and it's my real dad and stepmom. I get introduced by my mom this is your dad Butch and this is your new mom Lynda. Get in the van and go with them. We did it was just for a visit my stepmom was pregnant and had a 16-yr. old daughter Donna who was also pregnant. So, my stepmom was not keen on us, we were an inconvenience to her.

We lived in the remains of a house. It was white with blue trim and no windows left. It had no roof no plumbing this was nothing new to us. A green 5-gallon pickle bucket to go to the bathroom in we had one mattress (I remember laying on this dirty mattress and starring at the stars and wishing and praying we were going to stay) on the floor for all of us there was a bus outside to play in we had it better than some. We also had a donkey Kong game and a neighbor kid with a go kart. I remember we couldn’t tell anybody where we lived, or mom would shave us bald. We lied at school, we lied to my dad the only people that knew were my grandparents my mother and stepfather and the neighbors. The breakup with daddy Jim was particularly hard we were in the station wagon he was on the hood of the car mom was driving. As she spun us in circles trying to fling him off the hood of the car and we were screaming out. We went to a shelter, but we were done running and that’s where we started laying down roots.

We finally get a three bedroom house with running water and a bathroom. It was a huge green monster but it was ours. We sign up for school. We have frequent visits with our father. We make friends and we actually get to keep them. The five brothers and sisters learn how to smile again. They finally stopped living like gypsies. .It just took a little while to find the way home