A Glimpse

Third time's the charm, or at least thats what I was told. Moving to a different state for the third time this year- nothing to brag about.

I woke up in a hospital bed. As I slowly opened my eyes and tried to focus in, I saw him by my side. The boy from yesterday. Why am I here in this room with a stranger? I wasn’t even sure what exactly happened or why I was in a hospital room, let alone why I was here alone with this boy. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't get any words out. My mouth was so dry and I suddenly felt self conscious with my red tell-tale cheeks. Finally, the silence was broken.  

“My name is Adrian Santiago. You got hit in the head with a football yesterday, fell and hit your head on the stands. You blacked-out. The doctors said you have a concussion and are checking for any body damage. You’re gonna have to stay in the hospital for awhile. I’m so sorry, Maya. It’s Maya Hart, right?”  

I was speechless. “It’s okay. I don’t remember anything. I’m not sure what happened at all. Where are my parents? Did anyone call them? Oh no. They are going to be so worried!” It was all a blur. Why couldn't I focus? It took all of my strength to understand what he was saying. It was really so hard to focus. Moments passed. The room was quiet except for the beeping noises coming out of the machines. I felt myself drift off. It was as if I was lifting up and floating. I felt his stares. I felt my hand being squeezed. I couldn't open my eyes. They were so heavy. I was so tired, but I felt safe. It felt like we had known each other forever but how was that even possible…?  

Because of Hurricane Harvey, my family had to move out of Texas to Los Angeles. I hated every second of it, leaving behind not only my best friends, but all the cherished memories, good times and weekend sleepovers.  If that wasn't enough punishment, I had to move schools as a senior in her graduating year! Why couldn’t something go my way for once? My family lost everything in the Hurricane and we had to start over. Was I dreaming?

My parents walked into my room and asked Adrian what had happened to me. Having no concept of how much time passed, I started to wake up again. He told them the entire story. They were really worried and went to go locate the doctor while Adrian kept an eye on me. I couldn’t keep my mind from thinking about him. The way that I could visualize the beach through his curly light brown hair and the way his gold chain reflected his soul through his calm hazel eyes. My heart was beating out of my chest and a look of infatuation rested on my face. Yet I couldn’t remember anything that had happened; only him being there when I awoke. He’s my… he is my only friend.  

Later that evening, my parents called me and explained to me how they did not like this Adrian boy. Why had I picked up the phone against my doctor’s wishes?

“He was careless, Maya - He was fooling around and purposely didn’t catch the ball!” “You’re in the hospital because of him.” “He is bad news…” 

And so much more, but I eventually tuned them out. I was upset and I felt even more hopeless than before. 

Why couldn’t something go my way for once? I remember thinking that I finally had the chance for a fresh start, a new beginning!

My mind started drifting again. Why had I felt a forceful connection that I never felt before or knew I could. Where were these thoughts coming from?

For the next week, I was stuck staring at the same four bleak and sad walls, eating bland hospital food that completely ruined my appetite and desire to even eat. I was prohibited from using any electronics. It was the doctor’s strict rule that I was to have no light or noise. My week consisted of; 

1. Staring at the exciting walls
2. Sleeping
3. Dreaming about him in my sleep 

I imagined hundreds of interactions each one leading to the same tender kiss. On one particular lonely day, I woke up from a nap and saw Adrian sitting on the chair. My first thought was that I was dreaming or imagining again. Was I hallucinating again?

“Hey, Maya. Your parents told me to stay away from you but I couldn’t help it. I had to see you one last time. I’m so sorry for what happened… I wish we could have met in another situation, at another time.”

I gulped before reluctantly muttering the words, “You should be at school… no need to worry about me”. It hurt to push someone away just because my parents did not like him. They didn’t even know him! 

He spoke softly as he said, “I am skipping first period to make sure I am here with you while your parents are at work. I thought maybe we could get to know each other, would that be okay with you?”  

“Yes, actually, I’d love that”. My parents work during the day, I’m sure you could come by when you have time. But I really don’t think you should be missing school. We are graduating this year and I don’t want you jeopardizing your future.”

He told me that he was trying to get a football scholarship to university. He spoke softly and gave me insight into his life. You could tell he was avoiding talking about school. His voice was cracky and shaky and he wasn’t making eye contact. I felt really bad for him and wished I could have given him a hug. His family was not in the best financial state and really needed financial help. If he was successful and got a scholarship it would save his family from further debt.    

I felt special, that he opened up to me in such a short time of being… friends? I wasn’t quite sure what to call us. Us? Why did I even think this way?

I was always told I was very bright and looked forward to a great future. School came easy for me so I offered to help him study. He thought it would be a great idea not only to help him bring up his grades, but more importantly to get to know each other, which was what I had secretly hoped for and wanted.  

Life for both Adrian and I changed the moment he had entered the hospital room weeks ago. My daily drifting of thoughts was suddenly interrupted.  

Outside in the hallway I heard yelling. “Where have you been?” she demanded. “I’ve been calling you all day. No text or call back?! Do you expect me to just guess that when you’re not in class where you should be that you’re okay? You’ve been acting so differently lately. Adrian, why are you skipping class? That’s not you. What are you doing at the hospital? Why are you here?”

“I’ve been… busy with football. I just had to, um, I was really stressed. I just couldn’t get to class on time.” Adrian said, in a whisper.  

To my surprise, this screaming individual had placed a tracker on Adrian’s phone. She knew exactly where he had been spending his time. She knew exactly who I was. Suddenly she was at the door of my room yelling, “Who the hell are you? Where did you come from? He’s mine, so back off. Adrian is my boyfriend. You desperate moron!”  

There were no words to describe how I was feeling. Was I shocked or simply scared? I blinked at her and muttered apologies. “Oh I’m… I am so sorry. I had no idea.” Why couldn’t something go my way for once? I did not want this to ruin my reputation at my new school. I was going to be known as the girl who went after another’s boyfriend and that’s not me at all!  

Hours later, I could hear Adrian running down the old, narrow hospital hallway into my room with a bouquet of flowers. Pink, red, and white roses in hand, he was only able to mutter the words “I am so sorry Maya.”

A moment later, pandemonium struck.  

“You told me you still loved me! You told me we could work this out. You told me we were just on a small break! YOU-- will pay for this Adrian. If I can’t have you no one will.” Suddenly, glass shattered everywhere. The roses fell to the floor. Thorns were intertwined through my long, blond curly hair. Daniela threw the bouquet directly at me with the glass vase shattering all over the room.  

Nurses scrambled to the room. Voices were loud and blood was everywhere. Whose blood was that? Why couldn’t I speak? What was happening to me? I felt so tired, so very tired. I wanted to sleep. I felt myself slipping away. It was then that I could feel the sun shining on me and saw gardens of beautiful flowers. It was so warm and everything seemed so far away.  

Weeks later when I finally woke up, I was told that multiple pieces of glass had punctured me near my heart. Due to many complications, I went under cardiovascular arrest and I needed to have an emergency surgery to remove the glass and control the bleeding.  

During that period, Adrian had written a letter, knowing that we wouldn’t have been able to see each other ever again.  

March 18, 2012

Dear Maya, 

I’m writing you a letter because this may be my last time speaking to you. This is all my fault. I should have been honest with you up front and not have lied about Daniela. She was my ex-girlfriend. Crazy, ex-girlfriend. We were on a break because I wanted to focus on school and I didn’t know how to tell you. I really enjoyed spending time with you, Maya. What she did to you was awful and I should not have let it happen.  

I brought you the flowers to tell you that I liked spending time with you and wanted to thank you for the tutoring. I liked you from the very moment I turned around and saw your books on the floor. I felt a connection the moment I stared deep into your eyes, and saw a glimpse of your soul. It’s you, Maya. It always has been you.  

As much as it tears me inside, I am afraid that this is goodbye. I do not deserve you and you’ll be better off without me. I have only caused you misery and pain and cannot bear to see you hurting ever again. I will always treasure our time together. Goodbye Maya, I’ll miss you.  

With love, 

Adrian 

That was the end. I did everything I could to contact him those first two years. No one knew where he was or where he went. Daniela, ended up getting charged with assault and battery… I felt as if it was all my fault. Then again, she deserved it after what I went through. After what I’m going through.  

And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was discovered during my heart surgery that there was a tumour in my left breast. I had it safely removed. The surgery took so long and my parents were really, really worried. But that’s a story for another day.  

Today, I feel fortunate to have experienced and learnt many valuable life lessons. Things ultimately happen for a reason. When I look back, I believe I was supposed to move to Los Angeles to a new school and meet Adrian. Was everything that happened part of a larger plan to save my life?  

Looking forward while remembering the past, I was determined to find my purpose.  

The doctors saved my life and I wanted to give back to those who needed help just as I did. I studied and dedicated myself into becoming the best general surgeon in the country. Doctor Maya Santiago.