I NEED TO CHANGE MY TUNE

I want to do it, I have to do it, I must do it. OR ELSE!

Listening to this same tune on the same album has been like riding a thoroughbred on the longest racetrack EVER! In my head, it just went around and around like loopy loops all day long. And here we are, same page different year. It's the last train to Nashville or whatever that song is, which is now stuck on autopilot. Change is not only that loose stuff in your pocket, but a purpose you set as your goal to achieve a major milestone. It's one that I certainly have put off for a few years, make that a decade. Talk is cheap, as they say. Stop talking about it and do it! Okay, well that seemed easy to hear from a friend. Now if only I had a million bucks and all the time in the world. Well, I do have one, but not the other. You guessed it. Time not money. So now I am doing it once again, not following through on something I told myself to do before my hair turned gray and my mind went on blink mode. 

And here we are. It is the last day of the year, and the clock is heavily ticking which now sounds like the banging of a drum in my ears. Not the music I wanted to hear to finally make my dream a reality. Looking back again and again, I have not accomplished one small footprint towards my number one goal which was to go back home. But, opting to switch that up, I began to spend every available moment in tuning my gift. It was a challenge as in the beginning it didn't feel like the right vibe was here. But now, I have pushed myself and worked so long to master the vocal connection in the place where I am. The family does not know my plan and the surprise I hoped to give them. It will be a moment to thank each one for the heritage I cherish. I have finally changed into this new person and made a deal that after all the talk and promises, this would be the year it would happen. Why did the brakes suddenly go on and everything in my life suddenly freeze? I am now sitting in my tiny kitchen eating leftovers from the best dinner I've had in a long time. Make that the only dinner takeout I've had in a long time which as a professional chef was a very different choice for me. The Cliff House was gracious enough to reach out and secure my time off with our sous chef who was very willing and excited to step up his game. He couldn't thank me enough and I was happy to hand him my apron for a short time. Holidays were so tough for me to work through. Family was so far away, and visiting was not as often as we had hoped since moving to another country. Friends reached out to include me in the festivities of the season tonight since they knew I had been avoiding them for a while. But one by one I graciously told them I had New Year's plans, thank you. I worded it carefully letting the moment allude to a relationship date that was a total lie. That one ended a long time ago before life told me to go seek the passion for the music you have within your soul. So now it's the evening wind up or wind down as the ball is soon to drop. I have to do this and by that, I mean get out the check book and write the amount needed to get to Switzerland. Rummaging around the desk I made more of a mess and infuriated myself. What was I thinking? You don't write a check and just send it to a country. I was frustrated because stupid was not my middle name. I was in overdrive with my intention and to make it happen for real before the bell rang and a new year led to failure once again. So, I dumped the rest of my leftovers in the compost, cleaned up the countertop, grabbed my computer, and set it up on the kitchen island. Whew! The moment was here, and I smiled for the first time since who knows how long. 

The website I found was the number one place that had the best accommodations for the event. Several rooms were available, and I immediately got out my credit card and without hesitation punched in the information. The mountain view I would have in the tiny available room was amazing and set me up to finally take the leap over the pond. Yes, I booked my ticket!

The first day of spring had arrived and after a scenic drive down from Vermont, I am now on a direct seven-hour flight from Boston to Zurich. A long, long day but it is what it is. My family, who I have not seen since I left the hills of the legendary 'sound of music' scene in Salzburg, Austria to the other hills in Appenzell, Switzerland and then onward to my home in Vermont, will be there. The Mount Mansfield area in Stowe was my calling and I went with an open heart and determination and did not look back. There are moments where I did question my impulse decision but looking at all I have, there was not a second guess. Bringing my love of food from every European area I have travelled won me rave reviews with a position as executive chef of this unique venue high up in the mountain. Taking the 'Cat' at the end of the day during the season or skiing down was my option to enjoy the moment. The hills are alive!

It was early morning as I left the airport from Zurich. The Uber ride to my mountain view tiny retreat was a window back to my young life in this part of the world. I still love how overjoyed it makes me feel. It will give me the confidence to be my absolute best when I needed it the most. I spent the rest of the day enjoying it all, the scenery, my favorite foods and life. It was good to reflect. Once every three years the Jodelfest takes place and my time to compete is today at noon. I texted my brother as he was in on my secret arrival. He was psyched for me and said to not worry about a thing. Everyone will be there. It will be crazy, nuts to see their faces when I step up to do my thing. They have no clue!

Arriving to the Jodelfest, I took in the sight like a tourist coming to Switzerland for the first time. I was in awe of the fanfare, the festive atmosphere and the amount of people. Wow! I suddenly got nervous and cleared my throat in a way that had people stop, turn around, and started clapping. Was it that obvious? I quickly just put my hand up, waved, then smiled and hurried to the ticket window. They greeted me by name and then I was escorted to the place where the competition was about to begin. We all had matching shirts reflecting the colors of the national flag. We were out of sight from the audience and greeted each other in friendship wishing each a good performance. Soon the announcer began his introduction. I was able to glance out and soon spied my family. It was so exciting to be here! One by one we approached the small platform with the most stunning mountain view looking out from the entire festival. The crowd was very gracious letting each of us perform with our own stellar and unique voice. My turn was here, and it was as if time stood still. I slowly approached and stood up on the platform. The happy faces were everywhere in the crowd. I felt honored to be here at this moment to do the one thing I was so proud of in showcasing the heritage of my life. Just before I began, all of my family stood with arms wrapped in unity. I paused a moment to regain my composure and then without hesitation belted out my version of a yodel medley that even I was surprised at the range, tone and signature depth and rise of my voice. I ended and bowed, and the place erupted in such fanfare! I was humbled beyond this once in a lifetime moment. 

Looking back after such a beautiful time spent back home with family in a place where I felt most alive, I knew there would be more ways to feel alive back in Vermont. Home is where you hang your hat, but for me, home is where the hills are alive with the sound of music.