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Submitted into Contest #64 in response to: Set your story in a Gothic manor house.... view prompt

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Friendship Suspense Mystery

"This is stupid, Jack," 

"That's exactly why I am doing this," 

"Those are famous last words," 

"At least I can say something cool before I die," 

"No, Jack, that is not ‘something cool’," 

"Speak for yourself,"

"I am, and I'm speaking for you because lord knows that if I don't, no one will," 

Jack knocked loudly.

"Jack!" I said, alarmed. 

"What?" He asked innocently, "It would be rude not to,"

"In this scenario, I'm fine with being rude," I nibbled on my lip, “Plus...its supposed to be haunted,”

He scoffed and stepped up to the house, "You're a wimp, Oak, it’s not haunted,” 

I ground my teeth together and nervously fiddled with my eyepatch, I was supposed to be a pirate. 

I felt like I was about to step into a horror movie scene. The house, while giant, had a spooky feel about it. I assumed it just came with it, a two for one deal. Every creepy house gets a creepy aura too.  

If the house wasn't old, I might have been able to deal with it. 

If the house wasn’t inhabited by weirdos, I might have been able to deal with it. 

If the house wasn’t rumored to have ghosts, I might have been able to deal with it. 

If the house wasn’t a freaking gothic mansion I might have been able to deal with it.

But of course, life doesn’t work that way, and it was all three of these things. Why was I here you might ask?

I cast Jack a sideways glance.

He looked at me weirdly and placed something in my hand, it was his eyepatch. 

“I already have an eyepatch, Jack,” 

“I know,” He strapped his eyepatch on my other eye. 

“Well, now I’m blind how is that-”

“Now you can’t see the creepy house,” I could hear the smile in Jack’s voice

I sighed and left the patch on, it was weirdly nice in the dark. 

“Oak, I think she's coming,” Jack’s voice snapped me back to reality. I gulped and fished around in my pocket until I found my car keys, I slid them between my fingers like I had seen in the clickbait YouTube videos. It didn’t really make me feel any better. 

I was being ridiculous, right? 

The door swung open with an ominous creak, I gulped again. 

“WELCOME!” I jerked backwards so fast I tripped over Jack, he caught me easily. 

Standing in the doorway was a black-haired girl with giant pitch black glasses and a maroon colored dress. The first two strands of her hair were dyed neon green and dangled over her chocolate brown eyes. Melanie. 

“Come on in!” Melanies’ voice was softer than I expected, all my worries, vanished. I really was just being ridiculous, wasn’t I?

“Hi,” I murmured breathlessly. 

“Hi?” Jack said. He sounded very confused. 

I was the first to step inside. They really outdid their Halloween decorations. The two sets of stairs that combined in the middle were made up of a dark rotting wood, a faded red carpet coated in dust ran down the middle of them. The walls of the house seemed to be made of the same wood, it was also dark inside, fake cobwebs were everywhere. 

“Cool,” I breathed. 

Melanie seemed to dance across the floor, it was a little strange, yet kinda amazing to watch, sometimes, it looked like she wasn’t even touching the ground at all. 

I could hear some spooky music playing from somewhere. I noted the source, an archway to the left of the staircase. Melanie stopped at the opening of it, I raced to catch up with her. Jack trailed behind me, an odd expression on his face. 

“Jack?” 

“Oak,” he said quietly, “how do you know where you're going?” 

“What do you mean?” I replied, “Melanie’s showing me,” 

He smiled and laughed, “Right, Oak, sure she is”

I ignored his weird comment and rounded the corner, a gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it, the place was alive. People twirled around to spooky music, food was being handed out to everyone on paper pumpkin plates, and lights danced around the room to match the people. 

Melanie smiled, suddenly right next to me, “Cool, right? My mom went insane with the decorations,” 

“Oh yeah, Mrs. Peterson is like that,” 

“Mrs. Peterson….I suppose she is,” Melanie’s lips pulled upwards in a kind of sneer. 

“Oak?” Jack asked tenderly, “I see Zoe, I’m going to go say hi,” 

I nodded, “Have fun,” I was a little preoccupied with Melanie to pay much attention to Jack anyway. 

“Zo!” I heard him call as he disappeared. 

I grinned at Melanie, “So..what's the story of this house anyway?” I was determined to make small talk, “You know...with the ghosts?” 

She shrugged, “It depends who you hear it from,” 

“Then what’s your version of the story?” 

“Story,” She scoffed, “I guess I can tell you, If you want,” 

“Yes, please do!” I encouraged. 

“Ok, I hear that the original owner of the house had a daughter, a daughter who died, rather painfully might I add,” 

“Your a horrible story teller,” The words slipped from my lips, I was shocked at how rude they were, “I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“It’s more than ok,” She laughed, “Back to the story, as I have heard, of course, is that she was an artist,” Her voice trailed off and a soft smile broke across her lips, “A very good one, or at least she thinks, until…”

“Until?” 

“She went blind,” Melanie’s voice took a turn, I could feel the rage coming off her. 

“How?” 

“No one knows,” She said, “Some think it was an illness...I think that she did it to herself,” 

“What? Why would she do that to herself?” I gasped, very caught up in the tale. 

She chuckled darkly, “One question at a time,”

“Why do you think that?” 

“I just do,” She answered, “Only the blind can see,” 

“Can I ask one more question?” I asked, ignoring the second part of her words. 

“Yes,”

“What was her name?” 

She turned her head to the side, “One moment, I think I hear the door,”  

And then she was gone.

“Oak!” I turned at the sound of my name. 

“Zoe!” I smiled at her and turned around and faced her

She laughed, “Why are you wearing two eye patches? How can you even see?” 

“Hah! What is she even talking about?” Melanie asked with a soft smile suddenly next to me. I turned my head, what was she talking about? I wasn’t wearing two eyepatches. 

“Ha ha, very funny,” 

Lucy. 

I don’t know what made me think of her. 

I looked past Zoe, and smiled when I saw her. 

“Lucy’s not here,” She said. 

My eyebrows pulled together, “Are you sure about that? 

“Zoe,” She looked insane, “ZOE!” She ran into Lucy and hugged her. 

“Lucy,” Melanie cooed, “How have you been?”

Lucy flushed pale. 

“RUN!” She screamed, “RUN!” 

She listened to her own advice and booked it. Zoe vanished after her. I cast Melanie an awkward glance, “What was that about?” 

Melanie smiled, “She saw me,” 

“Ok...and?” 

“We have a history,” She said, smiling again.

“Oh,” I could tell she didn’t want to talk about it. 

“Oak!” Jack ran up to me, “Have you seen Zoe?” 

“She just left with Lucy,” I replied. 

“Lucy’s here?” 

“Of course. They never go anywhere without each other,” That was very true. 

He blinked twice, “Right,” He stared at me for a long time, “Ok, Oak, your really weirding me out,” 

“What?” 

All of a sudden, he lunged at me. I jerked backwards instinctively, “What are you doing?” 

“Take off one of those eyepatches!” His hand came towards me…

“Don’t let him,” Melanie's voice became the only thing that mattered, “Run,” 

I listened, of course I did. 

I raced through the house, the crowd had to practically run away from me as I tore through them. 

“OAK!” Jack bellowed after me, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” 

“Say ‘get away from me’” Melaine said. 

I listened. Of course I did. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” 

I spotted the front door, and pushed my legs harder...three steps...two steps...one step...I was out, my eyes slipped closed. 

“What is her name?” Zoe’s voice stopped me short, “The ghost that took your vision,” 

“Melanie,” Lucy replied. 

Melanie? 

“Melanie?”  I knew that name….I opened my eyes to read their expressions. 

I couldn’t. 

Why wouldn’t my eyes open? 

“OAK! NO!” I could hear Lucy’s voice, somewhere I sensed her coming near me, but I couldn’t see her…

Her hand came up to my face...I screamed and cringed away from it, I couldn’t see her… 

I heard a rip, “I got them,” Lucy said, “The eye patches,” 

“Oh no,” Zoe’s voice broke and a half-sob escaped her, I couldn’t see her…"Your eyes…”

“You're blind. Oak,” Lucy said softly, “Melanie got you too,” 

My eyes weren’t closed. 

They were wide open.

October 24, 2020 02:39

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2 comments

Julianne Baldiga
01:47 Oct 29, 2020

Great story. Try not to use adverbs so much. The horror of "ly" words will kill it! Also, alot of editors say its really risky beginning a story with dialog. But I really liked the idea of the content!

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Lee Doe
16:07 Oct 29, 2020

Thanks for the advice!

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