Funny Creative Nonfiction Holiday

Sunday morning; everything relaxed,looking as lazy as it could get.But as the mighty sun rose , the morning light began to illuminate his old fashioned boring bedroom . He opened his eyes and suddenly jumped out of the bed . “Today is the day, Oh lord, today is the day I’ll win and prove all these dumb weaklings ..Who am I ? Gonna prove it to you. All of you . Not gonna get pranked today....You all decided to arrange advertising campaign on this HOLY DAY!! just to make fool of me .Haha.” He sat on the side of his bed. "What is my today’s strategy. OH I remembered where is my phone ? Oh not gonna use it today .They will get me.” Squelching his eyes so hard that everything became blurry. “ My dear; I am so sorry…. Today I can’t give you the attention you need, the attention you deserve, my dearest I am not cheating on you I..(sobbing) just…just….want you to let me go." Singing, "You only love her when you let her go.” This all was for his smart phone.

Mathew you dweeb come down you will be late for your campaign .”said his 350 pounds roommate in a hoarse cry. "You jerk bring me those new doughnuts on your way back…Mathew you heard it. Right?? Where is your… Yes Sir .” “I heard it…ok..ok I’ll bring it. Tell me the time please.” He said. The Roommate replied, "Soon to be ; your time of death.” With a grim smile on his face. Mathew rushed down the stairs jumped, tripped and slipped . Only the wall in the hallway stopped him. “ I was prepared for today. You see it. I slept like this. Ha-ha… You thought I was late ....Ok see ya. Gotta rush out .”

Now the actual challenge awaits him, avoiding any possible situation that will get him pranked. Though today was day off but his company had arranged an advertisement campaign at the local park . So he had to get there.

Hello Mathew! Dear .... Good to see you. I baked cookies have some. Stand right there. " said Mrs. Collins as she brought out the most delicious and fantastic smelling cookies ever. He looked at the cookies, smelled them, looked at Mrs. Collins , looked at sky took a deep breath . “ Mrs. Collins you consider me a fool!" He kicked the plate of cookies. The cookies jumped out of the plate . Flying scattering ,breaking and hitting the ground. He ran away. Mrs. Collins became red with anger and said, "Come back home I’ll see you. Who is the landlord here??” Mathew not paying attention just running away and fetching the office bus. “Ohhhh…. I finally got a seat to sit on.” He said.

Two stops down he found himself sitting next to the most beautiful intern in his office. She used to dress formally in office but today she was wearing a beautiful silver colored skirt with blue top. Her blue eyes popped a lot in that dress.“Good morning Carla!” He said. “Good morning Sir .” She replied ,while looking him from head to toe . This was the first time she sat next to him. She was holding white lilies , looking stunning, though very confused . She remained silent after initial greetings. But as the bus just approached the local park . She shouted at the top of her lungs , "I love you …I have always loved you . Go out with me. Date me .” He was shocked. He pinched himself as hard as he could looked at her with disgust and replied , “No…not gonna fall for your spells witch. Be gone......Be gone.........!!!” Slamming his feet as hard as he could. He loved Carla. But she decided to make a fool out of him, today. On April’s fool. His rage suddenly changed into pain. His love of life made a fool of him.

Carla was working on different project so seeing her face again was not an issue. It was still early in the morning but he had avoided two pranks. “What a day!!!” He said to himself.

He reached his booth but nothing felt good to him anymore. He was still angry. He climbed out of his chair .“My mood is off. Let’s have coffee. Every single soul has decided to slander me today. Oh Lord I am so popular. " He said while brushing his brown hair. Reaching the refreshment area , he saw his senior there . He greeted him and they started to chat a little . While making his own coffee ,the senior made Mathew a cup of coffee as well. Handing Mathew the cup over he said, " Math.. I made you coffee have a sip… You will like it.” Mathew smirked and replied, “Senior, you are wearing white shirt or is it brown ? Senior replied, “Mathew are you all right it’s white….”  He wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Mathew threw the coffee cup on his white shirt and said while smirking , "Have a taste of your own medicine. Huh… You think I am an ignorant who will fall for such cheap trick …. Wasn’t expecting this from you senior.” His eyes were filled with tears. “ My God , why is this happening to me.” He yelled and went away. The senior there , just kept looking at Mathew’s face , astonished not uttering a single word.

The whole morning he remained silent , not talking to his co-workers and not listening to what they were saying. Hungry , coffee deprived , sad and angry at the same time. He thought , "You all …..think of me as a meager fool . Pranking me around , first those cookies, the confession, the coffee . But I am not going to get pranked……not today… I'll avoid every hardship you fools has arranged for me."

Mr. Mathew “ shouted the boss's assistant , "Boss is calling for you.” Mathew stood up and went to the boss’s quarter. " Boss you called for me.” Boss replied, “Mathew I have been thinking a lot about you recently . I always thought I have not given you the things you deserve . So this is for you .” Handing him over a white envelope . Mathew looked at the boss , clenched his fists ,stared at the white envelope , snatched it from boss’s hand, laughed loudly and for such long time that the boss became confused and replied , "Boss you know what?? I quit.”  Boss replied , "What…???” Mathew yelled, "Hear it loud and clear …. I quit ….I …Q….U..I…T….I quit.” Boss said , “ First look in the envelope .” Mathew teared the envelope in front of the boss's very eyes , shrugged, frowned and said , "Gonna collect my belongings.”

Boss started shouting but he kept walking away.

Half an hour later , he packed everything and left nearly at 12:00 . He had no phone with him . So no uber .

Gonna find my way back home today …..la…la…la…I didn’t get pranked today....la...la..la...Fool me once you say…la…la..la. I left all of you in hay. la…la…la.” Singing. He felt like he was the happiest person alive. The journey from the park to home was long and tiring . But this relaxed , happiest man took the journey as a piece of cake shouting and laughing , clapping and singing.

Finally, after an ordeal he was on the comfy couch of the home. Sweating but relaxed until he heard his roommate's shriek, " You fool…..Where are my doughnuts ???Today is your last day…” Biting his lips , rolling his cuffs , He said. Mathew replied, "Not today…Your doughnuts shop is opening tomorrow. On April 2nd . Today is the first of April. Happy April’s fool day.” Roommate replied , “ No today is 2nd of April. Yesterday was April’s fool……You …..Jerk. You slept like a log , the whole day , yesterday . You jerk. " Mathew looked at him in utter shock and replied , "No this can’t be happening… No…..God ….No…please.” As he rushed to get his phone which was powered off , just to find out today was 2nd April. He started crying as loud as he could ,shouting, "No…..this means today….(crying) was my lucky day… I doomed it with my own hands. Mrs. Collins cookies, Carla’s confession , seniors coffee………Oh no…. This means …..this means… My promotion . I set everything on fire with my own hands." He continued weeping and yelling , pulling his hair as hard as he could and scratching his face. The roommate heard everything laughed and said, “ That’s so sad . Siri play …..Despacito.”

The End .

April 02, 2021 07:54

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Rana Mumtaz
16:25 Apr 06, 2021

I've read it. The author has done an incredible job of holding humor and seriousness of a moral in a flow. Great job.


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Hamza Nasir
04:48 Apr 06, 2021

Fabulous Story✨ Worth reading 👌 Enjoyed a lot 😊


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Rubina Batool
09:27 Apr 05, 2021

Amazingl! Very beautifully written❤


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06:17 Apr 05, 2021

Woahhh🔥🔥 Beautifully written. Loved it❤🤩


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Farwa Nasir
11:10 Apr 02, 2021

FANTASTIC Story 🔥🔥🔥 Beautifully written, well sequenced, amazing storyline, good humour......simply AMAZING 💖 Enjoyed a lot!!!!!!


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Syeda Jafri
08:31 Apr 02, 2021

Love this story, it is so funny and creative🤩


Ghazala Khan
16:20 Apr 06, 2021

I read this story Such a great effort from the author Loved it a lot


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