Fast Food

The truck bounced as it merged onto I-5 towards San Diego International Airport off of Highway 78 in Oceanside California.

“No thanks,” she said

“What do you mean no thanks?” he blurted with a short laugh.

“I just don’t want to.”

“Whatever,” he said playfully as he popped her exposed left thigh with the tips of his fingers.

She did not respond. He glanced over.

“You’re actually serious? I don’t understand why not,” he said shifting in the driver’s seat of the pickup.

“Because it’s dumb, and I don’t want to.”

“Care to explain that just a bit? What’s dumb about it, and why can you not just do this for me? This seems like a reasonable request since I am the one driving,” he said as the tone of his voice changed.

“It may seem simple to you, but it’s not,” she retorted quietly hoping it would go away.

“You don’t think this is simple?” he asked as he shifted his eyes momentarily off the road to look at her.

“I don’t want to start this,” she said as she looked forward not meeting his gaze.

“No, we are going to start this,” he turned his whole head to look at her.

“You know how I feel about arguing in a car,” she tried.

“I don’t care right now about your need to escape or run away. We are going to get this out in the open because I am not going to have this hanging over our heads the entire time your mother is in town. So, before we get to the airport and pick her up this needs to be settled.”

“You want to fight and argue now, about this right now?” she asked.

“Yep,” he said with a nod of his head.

“You sure?” she said as her tone finally changed to meet his.

“I don’t think I stuttered,” he said curtly but softly.

“Fine. Okay Fine. You want to fight, okay. I am not saying I won’t or I can’t do it, it’s quite simple.  I agree with you on that point, but that’s not what I am saying. What I am saying is you won’t appreciate me for doing it,” she said as the tempo of her voice got quicker.

“Every time you ask me to do a ‘simple’ or ‘quick’ favor for you; you just expect it to happen and there is never any thanks or appreciation for it. It’s as if I exist on this earth to just fulfill your whims and wants. You’re hungry - I cook, you’re horny - I put out, you’re done watching TV- we go to bed. It is a never ending me me me fest going on all the time, and I am sick of it. What about me, what about my needs? There are things I want to do as well. So what if you make all the money, and so what if you own the house.  I don’t care anymore; I need to be able to make decisions too dammit. I have ideas, dreams and goals as well. I am not just along for the ride and you aren’t doing me any favors by letting me tag along. You’ve got that backwards. You want to break barriers and be somebody, fine, but I am not one of your employees, and I will not be treated as such. You need to make a decision on whether you want me to be your equal partner or if you want to be alone. I am done living with a servant’s mentality. I am not your nanny, your momma, or your nurse. You decide right now if you can show me the respect I deserve, or not. I am not going to go through life like an anchor for your boat. So choose. Choose me or choose yourself you arrogant prick, but you are going to choose. I love you but I can’t continue to live like this. I won’t live like this.”

The truck was quiet. Not even the noise of six lanes of interstate dared break the silence. 

“I uh,” he started, but stopped short and cleared his throat.

“I uh, I didn’t know you felt like that,” he said gently.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel like that, ever. I of course don’t want to upset you. I didn’t know things had gotten so bad. I’ve not been paying as much attention as I should have… obviously. I’m sorry, really, I’m sorry.  You have to tell me this stuff though instead of bottling it all up. How am I supposed to know if you don’t talk to me about it?”

“It’s not my nature to fight, you know that,” she said with a voice coming back to a normal tone.

“I know that, but we have to talk more”

“I…” She started but was cut off.

“I am talking about me too, that comment was not directed just at you,” he quickly interjected seeing the trap he had just put leg into.

She nodded. He took a slow deep breath and let it out slowly and silently.

“I’m sorry, okay? Look at me,” he said pleadingly.

She met his eyes.

“I’m sorry” he reiterated.

The truck quietly moved its way down the road as the sounds of the world slowly refilled the cabin. The air conditioning became audible again.  The roar of the tires on the concrete road cautiously crept back into the truck. The tension of the moment was over and shoulders were lowered.

Are we going to be okay?” he whispered after a while trying to catch her eyes with his. 

“Yes” she said turning to look at him. 

“Let’s have a good weekend with your mother and…”

“Our mother,” she interjected.

“Let’s have a good weekend with our mother and after she leaves we will sit down and think of some ways that we can make this work for you and for both of us better.”

She nodded in agreeance.

He held her hand for a while until he took it back to the steering wheel to navigate a turn.

“Will you please put ketchup on my French fries now?” he asked.

“No.”