Greed

​My roots were, and have always been, planted on the island of Ruderic. A very small corner of paradise, hidden away in the thousands of islands of the Philippines. Here, the sun was abundant and seemingly a key role in our existence. This was made clear to me come the rainy season where I felt wilted and depressed with little to no activity on my part. Others, though, were not affected as me. Others flourished, thrived and grew. Things seemed to come back to life for many as I sagged in a sort of darkness, only waiting for the clearing sky and the sun to shine on my body once again.

​My roots here on Ruderic were planted deep, our history on this small paradise island were not known to many. Our kind had never left our island, at least to my knowledge. We never had a reason or maybe an aspiration to explore and grow our culture. Everything we ever needed: the soil, the sun, the ocean provided for us. Now that’s not to say thoughts of what took place in the other lands is not far off.

​From my location, a beautiful plot of land so close to the crystal-clear waters of the Philippine Sea, I saw things from time to time. Giant whales, slowing inching their way across the horizon. Birds, the size of islands themselves, seem to glide without effort through the sky, disappearing only leaving a faint trail which soon too would disappear. They never came close enough, however, to know for sure their species. But these things I see, I wonder what else awaits out there. But again, my thoughts return to our paradise and everything it gives us.

​Our ancestors never spoke of stories of far-off lands. Theydance in the night breeze, especially when the moon was high and bright, as if not a care in the world, which is exactly how we grew. Scars, however, are apparent on our island where many of my family had been, but suddenly seemed to uproot their heritage, disappear with only minimal traces that once, someone had been there and mysteriously gone. Never to hear from them again. Where could they have gone? Did they have the same thoughts I had of the far off lands?

​Did the winds carry them off on the giant whales? So, this now was an overwhelming thought of mine. Was I no longer buried deep enough in our past and cultures? Was I beginning to take this absolute paradise for granted? I would start to feel guilty but even with this, I know I was going to only grow older and more curious. Where were those birds above me in the sky going? Where did they come from? I wonder, did they look down and ever imagine how wonderful life could be on this island. Would their size even fit the island of Ruderic?

​One day, a noise. A noise I had never experienced before. Not ever heard nor had I felt this before. I could not even begin to describe this. But I can, however, describe the vibrations. I could feel in the earth below me. But today was sunny, beautiful and the rainy season was months away. This feeling came from time to time when the rains came. It came with the great flashes of light and to shake the earth like a great colony of iguanas. Again, again, one more time it occurred and then seemingly gone.

​Darkness came along with a light breeze. There was no moon that night. I knew the cycles of this, I always relished in the calming rays of the moonlight, but darkness tonight, except a new light. A new sun off in the distance. Strange, I thought. It was very faint and unlike our daytime sun, I couldn’t feel the natural vitamins absorbing into my skin. This, though, provided no such sensation. Into the night, it diminished under the horizon, as my thoughts did, lingering thoughts of these two strange occurrences.

​As the sun rose across the ocean to waken my land up for another day of dancing and frolicking, I had completely lost my mind’s eye of the activities of that previous night. And it went dark, like the night had crept up on us. I still stood tall, but I could feel a strong grip about my body. Whatever was happening, it was in darkness and being tossed, jerked around. Now I could tell I was being taken somewhere, still in darkness.My head felt weighted down. It must have affected my thoughts and sensations. I could hear muffled noises, soundings of high winds over the bay of the crashing waves that hit just feet from where my roots began in the beautiful island. But these muffled noises were different. I did not know.

​Instantly, when I awoke, I could feel the sun once again. I saw nothing at the time. I felt as I did when the rainy season began. But to feel this sun again was a relief, although the warmth was not of my island. The air, with the sun, felt thick, almost dirty. I knew the vitamins I received from our sun were there but not the same. A new sensation also. Again, like in the rainy season, the air was cool, too cool. I did not like this. The air felt like the breaths of thousands of others, stale, fake and rather sickening. Usually, my sun would have warmed me, but this air I could already feel my skin and complexion wilting away. Where could I be, were my thoughts. Over and over again, until my eyes opened to reveal my once curiosity of intrigue of visiting that far off land had come true. Once free and alive, I was now locked away securely in a box with only one small gateway toward the sun. Here I was, now planted and I did not like it.  My once curiosities, and intrigue of leaving my island paradise for the first time had turned into what I never could have imagined. I feared now, and my only fear of now, that I would never return. My mind although curious but also greedy. And for this, I will always have to live with my choice. My only salvation now was through that gateway that allowed the light through. I finally had my questions answered however. Through that gateway, finally A glimpse as to where those giant birds originated from. They came and went like routine and behind or in front, this I could not determine was a picture of a tropical paradise from which once I had my roots planted. So now I could only wonder what it would be like to be back on my small tropical island.