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Thriller

“This is it,” Greg said

“Yeah, this is it.” his wife Jan replied.

They both stood and stared up at the towering victorian townhouse which stood looming before them. Greg smiled at it while Jan frowned. She thought this had been a bad idea but Greg had been so excited to see his old childhood home had come onto the market. She couldn’t say no to his excited face when he came across it in the properties section of the local paper. It looked run down and in major need of some TLC. His family had moved out of it when he had been a child. They had never told him why. He had loved the house and still loved it now by the look on his face.

“You had better write a decent sequel. We are going to need the money for the refurb and upkeep on this place” she told him.

Greg just nodded. Still looking and smiling. Jan wanted to smile, normally his smile was infectious to her. Not today though. Today she felt as if she were looking at his private browser history, dirty and a little ashamed to be snooping. She turned her face from the house and studied his instead. He stood for minutes just looking up and smiling like a mad man. Jan thought he must be reminiscing, so she stayed silent looking at the house and trying to gather up some happy thoughts.

Eventually, it seemed to Jan, he put his hand in the front right pocket of his jeans and drew out the keys. It was time to go in. The door gave an unsurprising groan as it opened.

This is the house nightmares have nightmares about. Jan thought.

The inside was dark and smelled musty. Greg switched on the hallway light. The carpet was new, the paint looked fresh. But, it still felt old to Jan. Old like a house that hadn’t been lived in for centuries. A house that should be left alone to rot.

Greg walked on with Jan close behind him. The outside had betrayed how nicely the house was decorated inside. She had expected to find a mess. Although pleasantly surprised at the inside, the house still felt off to her. She put it down to never having lived in a house this old or large before. She had managed to persuade Greg that they would put their own ‘stamp’ on the place and not recreate his childhood home from his memories. He had reluctantly agreed. As she walked through she tried to plan in her mind what they could do to each room. It was large enough to be a guest house. They were going to use it as a family home though, maybe kids would come in time. She was thinking about pictures for the upstairs hallway and unconsciously following Greg when she walked into his back as he stopped in a doorway.

“My room,” He said, he walked in, Jan went in after him. It was a big room with enough space for a double bed and bedroom set. The large old bay window had a view of fields for miles, it was beautiful. They stood together and looked out of the window. It felt like they were alone in the world. You could see no houses, just space. The back garden seemed to stretch further than the end fence. There was a Tree at the bottom by the fence. Jan could see boards nailed to the trunk of it. It had obviously been a playing tree to children at some point. She put her arm around Greg and pulled him close.

“Would you like this to be our room?”

“yes, I’ve never lived anywhere with a view like this, it would be nice to wake up to it every morning again”

With that, the first room was planned. Greg was right of course all the old windows on that side had the same view but none seemed to be as stunning as the view from that window.

The first month was a blur to Jan. The first priority was setting up Greg’s writing room. As the bread earner, he would be working while Jan did up the house. She didn’t mind being a stay ay home wife. She had plenty to do around the house to keep herself entertained. She was walking towards an unused room when the door slammed in front of her. She jumped then went to see if a window was open. It wasn’t. She made a mental note to remember it and mention it to Greg when he went in search of his next feed. She never disturbed him while he was working. He came down an hour or so later as she had finished making herself a sandwich, he took it and started eating it as she went to the fridge to put the ingredients away. She smiled at him.

“Oy. Cheeky, that was mine”

“Man hungry. Need food.” He replied with his mouthful grinning back at her.

She shook her head at him and started making another

“The house slammed a door at me today”

“Mmm, which door?”

“Upstairs, second on the right”

“Ahh, Kayleigh’s room”

“Kayleigh?”

“Yeah, she was my invisible girlfriend growing up. I always told my parents that was her room, she used to slam the door at them too. They never could find out where the draft came from.”

“We have a ghost?”

“Nah, no such things.”

Greg brushed his hands over the sink to get rid of the crumbs and gave Jan a peck on the cheek

“Break over. Man work. Earn much money for wife to buy shoes” He said in his gruff caveman voice.

Jan watched him leave, the hairs on her neck standing up, the odd feeling about the house which she had been ignoring since they moved in came back with a vengeance. She ate her sandwich even though her hunger had disappeared and decided to go into Kayleigh’s room. Greg may not believe in ghosts. But, Jan did.

She approached the shut door of the room, she had kept it shut after the slam in case it was a draft, it was an old house after all. She opened it and left it open as she went in. The room was plain. Whoever had last been her had done nothing with it. The wallpaper was peeling and the carpet shabby. She couldn’t recall having been in it before. She must have though. She did live here after all. Her eyes were drawn to the skirting board under the brand new looking window. she bent down to examine it. There, scratched into the woodwork were two names. GREG written in a neat scratch that looked like it may have been done with a metal nail and next to it in untidy uneven letter was KAYLEIGH, which looked like a fingernail scratched carving. The sudden overwhelming feeling to get out of the room overcame her and she ran out of the room. The door slammed behind her even though she had not touched it. She had to get out. She couldn’t work out what had scared her so much she had to run away. It was just a wooden carving. Greg could have done it himself pretending to be Kayleigh. But there was something else wasn’t there. Something her eyes saw but her mind wouldn’t let her process. When she had read the name Kayleigh, a long blonde hair had fallen beside her face and landed on the floor like someone was standing over her. Jan had short brown hair and so had Greg. She broke the rules then and ran into Gregs Writing room.

“Jan! are you Ok you’re white as a sheet” He led her to his couch, they sat down

“I went into Kayleigh’s room. I saw your name carved under the window, I saw hers too.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I carved it with a nail I found the day we left here,”

His eyes glazed as he watched his memory playback. She watched as he registered what she had said

“No, I only carved mine, not Kayleigh”

“What colour hair did Kayleigh have?”

“What? Blonde, long why?”

“Because when I looked at her name a blonde hair fell beside me”

“There have been loads of people here since I was last here, the hair probably got caught on something and blew off when you displaced the air by bending down”

“What about the name?”

“Coincidence. Come on. Let Greg hold your hand and we will go and talk to Kayleigh, you will see she’s not real.”

Greg took Jans hand and dragged her to the room. The door stood open for him. Even though Jan was sure it had slammed shut behind her. He let go of her hand and walked in through the open door. When Jan went to follow, the door slammed into her face making her nose bleed. She cried out frightened.

“Jan!”

Jan was sat on the floor crying in shock and holding her nose. She could hear Greg rattle the door handle, trying to get out.

“Greg” She squeaked through tears. She stood up and put her hand on the door handle to try and open it, but the handle shocked her. She jumped back and watched it jiggle as Greg tried to open it from inside. Then it stopped. The house seemed to go silent. then she heard Greg cry

“Woah, What the…”

“Greggy, you came back to me”

“Greg! Who is that?” Jan yelled through the door. Her heart was hammering so fast and hard she thought it would leap out of her chest.

“K…Kayleigh?”

“Yes Greggy, silly. I carved my name with yours so we could be together and now you have come back to me”

“No, no. You aren’t real, you were my imaginary friend when I was a child you aren’t real”

“I am real Greggy, I’m right here, touch me. You’ll see”

“No, no, no NO! Don’t touch me”

“Greg!” Jan started kicking the door in an attempt to get into the room.

What was going on in that room? Jan had to find out and she suspected she had to find out fast. She threw herself at the door again and rolled into the room as the door opened for her. Greg stood by the window looking in horror as a child-sized mist hovered in front of him, growing to the size of an adult. It formed into a person. She was a slim, tall woman with long blonde hair wearing an old fashioned looking dress.

“Look Greggy, I can grow up for you. I don’t need to be a little girl anymore”

“No, no, no” Greg kept repeating, It seemed to be the only word he could say in his shocked state.

“Get away from my husband, ghost,” Jan said. Trying and failing to sound menacing.

Kayleigh looked at her scowling

“He is mine.”

“No, he isn’t”

“Greggy?”

“No, no, no”

“Greggy?” The ghost whined

“No, no, no”

The ghost rolled its eyes. Looked at Jan and said

“Fine, he is yours, catch”

With a wave of her arm, a strong gust of wind came from nowhere and Greg was thrown out of the window. Jan ran to catch him, she caught hold of his leg but his momentum was too strong and herself too slim and weak to stop him. They both plummeted out of the window, down onto the hard ground below. The last thing Jan Heard was childish laughter coming from above.

XXXX

“This is it,” Greg said

“Yeah, this is it.” his wife Jan replied.

They both stood and stared up at the towering victorian townhouse which stood looming before them. Greg smiled at it while Jan frowned.

‘I HATE this effing house’ Jan thought as she watched herself walk through the front door.

Upstairs Kayleigh, Or what had been Kayleigh many years ago, watched them come in again. She smiled, this time it might play out better…

September 11, 2020 18:11

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11 comments

Suzi Zinn
23:18 Oct 23, 2020

Very interesting story.

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Rachel Alex Wall
09:42 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you

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Iris Silverman
00:47 Oct 07, 2020

I liked that you didn't introduce Kayleigh until the middle of the story. It left me curious about who she could possibly be. Though I expected her to be some kind of woman from Greg's past, the ghost aspect was a twist. Looking forward to reading more of your works.

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Rachel Alex Wall
06:22 Oct 07, 2020

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it

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Lani Lane
02:49 Sep 25, 2020

Hi, Rachel! Here from Critique Circle! This was a great take on the prompt. :) Here are my critiques: 1. “Yeah, this is it.” his wife Jan replied. Grammatical error, should read: “Yeah, this is it,” his wife Jan replied. 2. They both stood and stared up at the towering victorian townhouse which stood looming before them. Two "stoods" in the same sentence. Don't need to use "both" or "up" if it's said the townhouse is looming. Here's a revision: They stared at the towering victorian townhouse looming above them. 3. “Y...

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Rachel Alex Wall
09:17 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you for your feedback

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Lani Lane
12:33 Sep 25, 2020

Of course!! Keep writing!! :)

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Falguni Jain
08:52 Sep 20, 2020

Wow! The story seems great. I love the way you formed a time-loop, "This is it." "Yeah, this is it." It serves the story so well!

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Rachel Alex Wall
11:42 Sep 20, 2020

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it

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Mustang Patty
10:29 Sep 19, 2020

Hi there, Your storyline works well, and I enjoyed it very much. I did struggle with issues pertaining to style. For instance, in this sentence, '“Yeah, this is it.” his wife Jan replied.' It is the convention to write, "Yeah, this is it," his wife, Jan replied. While I can see you've obviously worked on your grammar and presentation, it is the little things about the craft you still need to master. Just a few techniques I think you could use to take your writing to the next level: READ the piece OUT LOUD. You will be amazed at t...

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Rachel Alex Wall
18:42 Sep 19, 2020

Thank you for your comment, I'm glad you noticed I have been working on my punctuation I already use the free version of grammerly which is probably why my grammer is better. I will look at your stories, two pairs of eyes are often better than one. I will read aloud my pieces. For your comment I would look at your answer as you repeated your ps twice. I really enjoyed reading your feedback I'm glad you liked 'Kayleigh'

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