Gouges

Alice felt like she’d been whacked over the head when her adopted sister, Julie, told her she wasn’t her ‘real’ sister because Alice had accidentally scratched Julie's car. Alice still felt like a stranger in the home even though she’d lived with her adopted family for several years. She'd been there longer than any other place. Also, moving to Texas was a major adjustment.

The driveway was narrow and dark, so Alice had a hard time seeing when she pulled into the driveway. She barely tapped Julie’s new Camry. Alice backed away, stepped outside, and noticed a small gouge. She shrugged and went into the house. Alice was anal retentive and noticed everything, but the scratch was small. Alice usually would blow up and forget about an incident a day or two later. 

le of days after the incident, Julie stormed into the house. 

“Alice scratched my car,” Julie shouted. 

Alice shrugged. 

“OH, you just noticed? It’s just a tiny mark Sorry.” 

“What do you mean I just noticed? It’s a brand new car and now it’s gouged.” 

Alice’s father walked into the living room. He had been in his office working. Her mother had been in the kitchen. 

“What’s going on?” 

“She scratched my new car.” 

“Well, there’s no need to scream,” Julie’s mother said. 

 Her parents followed Julie to the driveway to access the damage. There was one deep scratch and one smaller scratch created by the large screws on Alice’s front Texas Star license plate. Her father shook the bumper. 

“It’s not worth an insurance claim,” her father said. “You can purchase some touch-up paint at the dealer.” Julie nodded and wiped the tears off her face. 

“I don’t think it’s a big deal. That’s what the bumper is for,” Alice said. 

Julie’s nostrils flared. 

“The cars aren’t meant to play bumper cars,” Julie said. 

“I don’t want tension in this household.” Her mother wagged her finger. “ Julie, it was an accident, and it can be fixed,” her mother said. Alice smirked. 

Julie was always such a perfectionist and made a big deal out of everything, and was so emotional. Alice felt like Julie never wanted her to be a part of the household anyway. Juli had been an only child and had always gotten what she wanted. 

“I’ll be more careful,” Alice said. Her parents nodded. Her mom unfolded her arms. 

“It’s okay. Accidents happen.” 

“I could put a bumper sticker over it,” Julie said. 

“No, a bumper sticker can lower the value of the car,” her father said. 

Alice rolled her eyes. Julie looked like she was going to cry again. Alice was glad her parents weren’t indulging Julie with attention. She remembered Julie would whine about everything when they were kids, and her mother went to great lengths to accommodate Julie’s hyper-sensitivities. 

The young women followed their parents back into the house. Alice opened Julie’s door. 

“You could’ve knocked,” Julie said. 

“I just think you’re being petty.” 

“Go away,” Julie said. Julie put the pillow over her head. Alice eventually closed the door. 

The next night when Alice pulled into the driveway, Julie walked out of the house with a flashlight. 

“What are you doing?” Alice said after she got out of the car. Alice’s front bumper was against Julie’s bumper. Alice had tapped the car again, and her front bumper was against Julie’s bumper. 

“You hit my car again. Alice rolled her eyes and cranked up the engine, so she could reverse the car, She was tired and just wanted to go to bed. Julie could be so bossy. Julie shone the flashlight on her blue bumper and cried when she saw a larger, deeper gouge next to the first one. There were two tiny indentations. Alice had slightly raised Julie’s car and it made a noise when she pulled out. 

“You see what you’ve done?” Julie said. Julie started sobbing again. The scratch blurred and became clear again. 

“Well, cover it up,” Alice said. She was tired after a long day at the shitty temp job she found after she graduated. She was convinced her boss was a sociopath, and everyone at work seemed to be against her. 

“I can’t just cover it up. It looks like uneven nail polish,” Julie said. “And the touch-up paint is expensive.” 

“Whatever,” Alice said. “I barely tapped it. And cars are gonna get scratched. You can’t expect everything to be perfect. ” 

Alice’s father came out to look at the bumper. He pressed down on it. Julie’s mother gave her a hug.  

Alice’s father went out to look at the bumper, He shook it to make sure it was secure. 

“See, she gouged it again. Should I put in a bid?” 

Her father shook his head. 

“I think you can just cover them up. Not worth a claim,” he said.  

Julie nodded. 

“That’s what I advised her to do,” Alice said. Julie bit her lip. 

“If it upsets you, try not to look at them. “Tears rolled down Julie’s face again.

“I can see them from all the way across the parking lot,” Julie sai

“I’m sorry this happened, but try not to dwell on it. Alice’s parents both studied her for a moment. She felt their disapproval. Alice looked away. The unbearable Texas heat made it difficult to breathe. 

“I’m sorry,” Alice said looking at her father.  

Julie covered the scratches up a couple of days later. She was distant and spent most of her time at home in her room. The gouges were deep and still noticeable, but Julie didn’t complain when her dad asked her if she was satisfied. 

Julie continued to examine her car with a flashlight every night Alice pulled into the driveway. Alice barely tapped the car a third time and left a scratch and a small indentation. 

“You can barely see that,” Alice said. 

“I can’t cover that up,” Julie said. 

Julie went inside and got her father. Alice flushed and looked down. 

“I think you should wait and see if the heat pops out these dents,” her dad said. “If they don’t come out, you can put it in a bid.”  

Julie teared up when she looked at her bumper again. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but Julie, I don’t think your sister meant to hit it.” 

“But she’s not my real sister!” 

Alice turned white and her parents looked at each other. Even though she had been adopted, no one ever questioned whether or not she was a part of the family. Alice was adopted a year before Julie was born, as Julie's mother didn’t think she could get pregnant. Julie was always the golden child. She earned A’s without much effort, and her parents showered her with admiration. Julie had recently graduated with honors and would be going to graduate school in the fall. Alice’s future was somewhat uncertain.  

“Julie, I want you to come into my office.” Alice felt somewhat vindicated. She remembered being disciplined in her father’s office. 

Alice overheard her parents excoriating Julie for her insensitive comment. Julie knocked on Alice’s door. 

“I didn’t mean it,” Julie said. “I’m just frustrated that you’re not taking my feelings seriously.” 

“You did mean it,” Alice said. “You don’t want me here.” 

Julie sighed and walked out of the room. 

Alice’s father poked his head into the room and asked Alice not to park behind Julie. 

“I think that will solve the problem,” he said. “And if you’re having trouble with parking, I’ll be happy to help. “ 

Alice nodded and tried to hide her anger. There was nothing wrong with her driving, as she was barely tapping the car. Alice felt like she had every right to park in the driveway, She wasn’t comfortable with her parallel parking, and she felt like her parents were giving Julie preferential treatment. Why did she get the best parking place? 

Alice parked along the curb but got angry every time she saw Julie’s brand new car in the driveway. It seemed Julie always got her way. She remembered when relatives showered Julie with adoration because of her various and sundry academic achievements. People considered Julie to be some kind of prodigy because she skipped a grade and recently earned a graduate fellowship. 

After Alice parked the car, she cranked it up again and pulled it into the driveway. She tapped Julie's bumper, backed out of the driveway, and drove around the block. Her pulse was racing, so she did some deep breathing. What if someone saw her? When Alice got out of her car, see whether or not she scratched the car again, but she felt a rush of adrenalin when she saw another small dent. Julie would know Alice did it, but her parents most likely would give her the benefit of the doubt. It would of course depend on whether or not her father went into conversational Nazi mode. 

Alice felt guilty for a moment but then thought about all the times she defended Julie on many occassions. Julie was always emotional and seemed to attract bullies. Julie showed no appreciation whatsoever and always wanted to prove that she had the moral high ground. She just hoped her dad wouldn’t go into military mode and interrogate her. Her parents were always strict, and Alice and Julie were constantly reminded that their behavior could affect their father’s job.

When Alice was eating breakfast, Julie walked into the kitchen. Her face was red and she’d been crying. 

“What did you do to my car?” 

Alice looked surprised. 

“Well, I didn’t park behind you.” 

“But I can tell you did it. There’s another gouge.” 

Alice’s palms were sweaty. Would she be able to survive an interrogation?  

Alice took a deep breath and wiped her forehead. She forced herself to look directly into Julie’s eyes. 

“I haven’t been parking behind you.” 

“Did you perhaps forgot the system in place and parked behind me before you moved your car.” 

Her dad walked into the kitchen and slammed his fist on the table. 

“I’m getting tired of this, It’s beyond ridiculous.” He and her mother followed Julie out to the car. Alice put her head on the table. She walked outside to avoid looking suspicious. 

Her parents looked at Alice. 

“Alice, can you explain what happened?” her father asked. 

Alice bit her lip, and shrugged. 

“Did you forget the system in place and park behind her?” her mother asked. 

“Well, I got tired and pulled into the driveway the other night, but I didn’t think I hit it. i just barely tapped it. “ 

Her father’s face was flushed and her mother looked exhausted. 

“I’m just sick of this and can’t understand why you can’t work this out like adults,” her father said. 

Now Julie’s car had another gouge and a small dent. Alice felt sweaty all over and had a queasy feeling in her stomach. 

Her dad raised his eyebrow. Her mother looked at Julie. 

“Why don’t you just park along the curb? That way you don’t have to worry about Alice or anyone else parking behind you. I don’t think the driveway is long enough for both cars. ” 

Julie’s lip curled. 

“that’s not fair. I get home first.” 

“Do you want to solve the problem or not? What’s more important? Protecting your investment or asserting your right to park in the driveway?” her father asked. “My philosophy is to solve the problem or live with it. There’s no point in being upset all the time. You’re hurting yourself.” 

Julie’s lip trembled. Alice smiled. It seemed like her parents were realizing that Julie wasn’t their perfect child. 

“I’ll park in the driveway,” Julie said. 

Alice grinned for a brief second. Now she could park in the driveway. When she got home from work, Alice’s father invited her into his office. Alice felt a combination of pleasure and anxiety. Even though Julie deserved what happened, Alice realized she’d done enough damage. She was relieved that her parents didn’t take their daughter’s side and were able to calm Julie down. Julie, on the other hand, became more sullen and suspicious. When Alice got home from work, she got out of the car and scraped off a little bit of the touchup paint. She looked both ways and quickly put her key back in the pocket. It was just enough for Julie to notice. 

Julie didn’t confront her that evening, but she saw Julie looking at her bumper. 

“What’s wrong?” Alice asked. 

“Nothing,” Julie said. Julie followed Alice into the house and went up to her room. 

Alice’s father came into her room that night. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I just want you to know that scratches can be expensive. And they can lower the market value of the car, so I need you to be careful. And if you’re having trouble with parking, you an always ask for help.” 

“Thanks, Dad,” Alice said. 

“There’s no shame in asking for help,” her father said. 

“ Julie knocked on her door later. 

“Alice, i don’t know what’s going on, but you’re a good driver, and I don’t understand what’s going on..” 

Alice looked away. 

“I feel like you’re looking for reasons to blame me, and you’re obsessing over that car. I’ve got scratches and dents on mine. It’s normal. ” 

“I just don’t want you to shred my new car. I just got it two weeks ago.”  

“It’s just the bumper. Who looks at bumpers.?” 

Julie sat down on the bed. 

“Alice, I’m not going to fight with you anymore. I just want you to stop damaging my car. “ 

Alice yawned. 

“And you’ll always be my sister no matter what,” Julie said. 

Alice looked down. Her eyes watered for a moment. 

“Okay. And you’ll always be my sister,” Alice said. Alice said. 

Then Alice looked up at her sister. 

“I did scrape off a little bit of the paint. I felt like you all were against me and questioned if I really belonged here.” 

Julie uncrossed her arms. 

“You’re still family.”  

“I’m sorry,” Alice said. She was stunned Julie didn’t yell and even a little disappointed. She seemed addicted to some kind of drama. 

Even though Alice felt bad about the damage, she was still tempted to do something else to the car and didn’t know why. Yes, it was wrong, but it made her feel powerful. She thought about the other times she’d been screwed over by the system, and expected it again. It was never safe to get too comfortable with the situation. But if she did anything else to the car, her adopted parents might not be so forgiving the next time, and she could easily wind up in another strange where she knew no one. 

Alice started to notice the damage more when she came home at night. Maybe she did go too far. Julie quit covering up the scratches, and they were noticeable. Alice realized she pushed things as far as she could, but Julie and her parents still accepted her. She didn’t know what happened to her real family or other siblings, but Alice had to accept the family that she had.