Speculative Suspense Teens & Young Adult

The slightly cool breeze blew on Audrey’s body as she walked Carrie.

“Getting chilly out, huh, girl?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

“Me, too."

"It’s invigorating!”

“Yeah, look at us nude on a chilly September day!”

“Well, it’s cool, but not chilly!”


Audrey continued walking Carrie on the sidewalk.

“I gotta go,” Carrie said.

“OK.” Audrey stopped next to a bank. Let’s go in here.” She opened the door and walked in.

Carrie looked around. “Hey!”


“I’m having déjà vu. I’ve been here before.”

“You have?"

“Yeah, I recognize these God-awful ugly walls!”

“Hey!” exclaimed a white-haired man. “I don’t give a hoot that you’re the world leader’s pet or that you’re bare-ass naked, but these walls ain't ugly!”

“No, they’re ugly.”

“Baaaaggghhhh! Anyway, welcome, er, Madam Leader and Carrie!”

“Thanks, where’s the bathroom?” Audry asked.

“Second door to the right.” He pointed.

“Thank you,” Audrey said and walked Carrie towards it.

“Oh, it was a dream!” Carrie blurted out.


“I dreamed I came here.”

“You did?” Audrey stopped.



“A few nights ago.”

“Weird! What was it about?”

“I don’t remember.”

“That’s really strange.”

“Yeah. Tell me about it.” Carrie touched her bare breast.

"Come on, girl." Audrey walked Carrie into the bathroom.

“You didn’t have to take me in.”

“I have to go too.”

“Oh.” Carrie stuck her tongue out while Audrey let go of her leash.

“OK, do your business,” Audrey patted Carrie’s white ass and walked into another stall.

A few moments later, the girls came out and washed their hands.

A woman with purple-rimmed glasses walked in. “Hello, Ms. Turner.”

“Hi," Audrey replied.

“What should I address you as?”

“Just Audrey.”

“OK, Audrey, I don’t approve of your attire. It’s indecent and you should be escorted out of office in handcuffs!"

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Have you ever thought about the billions of children who watch you every day, the influence you have on them?”

“Yes, and I bet I inspire them.”

“To become nudists?”

“No, to become better people.”

“Yeah, right.” The woman scoffed and tossed her long blond hair.

“I’ve done a lot of good for the world in just a couple of months,” Audry replied, her voice calm.

“You also have exposed yourself to the entire world!”

“I think it does not matter.”

“And what about your girlfriend?”

“I’m not Audrey’s girlfriend. I’m her pet!" Carrie snapped.

“Oh, that’s much better! Let’s all keep people as pets!”


“Carrie, stop! She has a right to her opinion!”

“Opinion?” the woman repeated.

“Listen, you brought up some important points, but we’re free to go around however we want.”

“We’ll see about that!”

“Come on, Carrie, let’s go.” She tugged her leash and Carrie followed Audrey out.

"I wanted to bite that woman!"

"I know, but it’s best to let them bitch,” Audrey said, her voice low. She didn’t like to curse in public.

“But, they could protest or even wreak havoc,” Carrie replied.

“I’m fine with them protesting and I will take action if they get rowdy.”


“Let’s get out of here.”

“Belly rub first!” Carrie laid down on her back and whimpered.

A girl who looked to be about eight smiled at them. “You’re the leader of the world.”

“That’s right!”

“Aren’t ya ever gonna wear clothes? It’s getting cold out!”

“Yeah, I will.”


“When it’s cooler out.”

“You don’t like clothes, do you?”

“Uh… no, not anymore.”

“Kelly,” a man’s voice called.

“I gotta go, it was nice to meet you, Ms. Audrey.” She walked away.

“Cute kid,” Carrie said.

The Secret Service drove Audrey and Carrie back to the White House.

“I gotta go again. Can I go on the lawn?” Carrie asked and hopped out the limo.

“Seriously?” Audry blurted out.

“Yeah!” Carrie wagged her rear.

”No. That would be too weird!”

“OK.” She let Audrey lead her into the West Wing. "I can’t stop thinking about the dream I had.”


“I think I remember a little more. I was alone, walking around and I heard a crackle so, I looked around  and I saw a pink light.”

“A pink light?” Audry repeated as she unlocked their room. She opened the door and walked in.

“Yes. I don’t remember anything else.”

“How big was it?”

“About the size of a grapefruit.”

“Hmm, wonder what it could be.”

“Beats me,” Carrie replied and paced around on her hands and knees.

“You should ask Zexado.”

“Good idea... Hey! Where is he by the way? I haven’t seen him for a couple days? Isn’t he supposed to be your advisor?”

A blue cloud hovered above them. It drifted out a few feet, then became gray like it was going to rain, then a blue feathered butt stuck out.

“Wait, hold on. I’m stuck!” he said, grunting. The butt shook back and forth as the grunting persisted.

Carrie and Audry smirked.

"Uh, you want any help, there?" Carrie asked, and Mokopai fell onto the carpet, then rolled and stood up.

“I meant to do that!” He brushed himself off with his wing, then said in a high voice, “Wassup, bitches?”

“Hey, I ain't no bitch! She’s the bitch!” Audrey said and pointed at Carrie.

Mokopai looked at Carrie. “I see you’re keeping your head shaved. Getting a little cool for that, eh?”

“Nah, gonna be a bald bitch forever.”


“I like it." She rubbed her scalp.

“Cool, cool, coolio! I got that from Power Rangers Dino Fury.”


“Been watching lots of human TV lately.”

“Good for you!”

“Back to the plot…” Carrie said. “I had a dream I was at the bank and me and Audrey went into the same building today.”

“Hmm, that's peculiar.” Mokopai put his wing under his beak.

“What does it mean?”

“Well, some demons dream about events not yet come to past. So, I suppose it might be a warning or something.”

“So, I dreamed about the future?”


“Why me?”

Mokopai shrugged, “I don’t have a clue.”

“What should I do?”             


She looked as the pink light came into the dark room.

Something about the glow was off. She couldn't place her finger on it. She backed up as the light floated to her. A chill rushed through her body as the light got closer.

“Carrie... Carrie, Carrie.”

She opened her eyes to the dark ceiling.

“You were barking in your sleep,” Audry said and turned the desk lamp on.

”Huh? I was?” Carrie replied, rubbing her eyes.

“Yeah, what were you dreaming about?”

Carrie crawled up to Audry. “Someone was cornering me in that bank!”

“Really? Who?”

“The pink light… um, it was dark again and I heard the crackle and saw the light.”

“Carrie, go to the bank, now!”

"What?" Carrie blurted out.

“Huh?”Audry replied.

“I heard a voice.”

“Go to the bank, now.”

“A voice?” Audrey repeated.

”You must go now.”

“Who are you? Why do you want me to go to the bank?”

“You’re the only human that can see demons.”

”She encounters demons, too.”

“Oh really?”


“Well, in that case… Audrey, go to the bank with Carrie, now.”


”What do you want?”

“To meet Carrie. Oh! I heard so much about you - from your birth to the unfortunate

tragedy that took your parents to Jake! And, now you’ve become a dog.”

“Where have you heard about me?”

“Go to the bank and I’ll tell you. We’ll have a nice little chat!”

Carrie and Audrey exchanged glances.

"What should we do?"

"First, we need backup."

"You rang?" A red light app=eared above them. POP! Zexado stood by the bed.

Audrey told him what happened.

"A strange voice told you to go to the bank? Yep, you definitely need help!"

"Hey!" Carrie said.


“I don’t like this, Audrey,” Carrie said, staring at the dark building.

“Me neither.”

“Don’t worry, if things get hairy, I’ll have your backs,” Zexado said.

“Thanks, Zexado,” Audrey replied as a cool breeze blew her bare skin. She had thought of putting clothes on but decided not to bother.

The two walked up to the door unlocked and opened it. “Here goes nothing,” Audrey murmured under her breath and walked in with Carrie.

It was pitch dark.

Audry ran her hand against the wall. she touched the panel and flicked the lights on.

“Well, hello girls!” a red and white striped creature said.

“Who are you?” Audrey demanded.

“You didn’t scream like frightened little girls."

“Well, we figured you were a demon."

“Doesn’t my appearance frighten you?”

“Just tell us who the Hell you are.”


she said, raised her chunky arms, and her name appeared in hot pink

letters. “I’m a dream demon.”

“What’s a dream demon?” Carrie


“Doesn’t matter now, my bald naked friend!” the red and white demon said, sauntered to Carrie, and stroked her cheek. “Poor Carrie. Life hasn’t treated you kindly, hasn’t it? Your parents died horribly in that car crash. your brother had to take care of you

all these years: making you cook your meal, leaving you alone while he runs his

errands, lying to the social workers who come over frequently, misses your play… I bet Jake misses you so much!”

Carrie looked down.

“Hey! Leave her alone!” Audrey exclaimed.

“What do you want from us?” Carrie demanded and a low growl emerged from her throat.

“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna take your friend and leave you in the dark." She stuck her yellow tongue out.

“I think I’m gonna be sick!” Audrey said, staring at the puss-filled warts.


The lights shut off.

“Audrey?” Carrie called. “Audrey!” Her voice echoed. no reply. “What have you done to my friend?!” Silence. And pitch black. Just like her dream. She stuck her

hands out and began feeling around. Why didn’t I bring a flashlight?


Carrie jumped

 Pink light floated circling her. She shielded her eyes and felt something soft on her breast. She yelped in surprise and felt a pinch. Then, it crawled in. She screamed, not knowing

what was happening. Inside, it tingled. “GET OUT OF ME!” She tried moving her hands, but they wouldn’t.

Whirling sounds came within her. Then, it stopped and the thing buzzed out. She

moved her arms as the lights turned on.

”It’s done. Here’s your friend, “ Yoyuja

said and Audrey appeared.

“What did

you do to me?” Carrie demanded. No answer.

July 23, 2021 03:45

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KarLynn Erickson
22:44 Jul 26, 2021

You have an interesting imagination. I'm not generally interested in sci-fi, but the story kept me reading. You could use some of the word count to better introduce us to the characters. There must be some differences between the characters, I found them interchanging at times. I'll read the next one too!


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Brooks Porter
23:59 Jul 23, 2021

Entertaining story... I’m just glad we don’t have dream demons in real life. Thanks for sharing!


E.C. Nickelson
21:29 Jul 28, 2021

Or do we? Who’s to say that the people we dream about aren’t dream demons instead? Sorry, we’ll sort of, but I couldn’t resist.


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Kate Winchester
17:53 Jul 27, 2021

I like your sense of humor in your story. I think some more descriptions of what’s happening would be good, but I also understand there are more stories. The concept of a dream demon is very cool. I hope we learn more about her. I’m curious to see what happens next!


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Aman Fatima
19:11 Jul 25, 2021

Why the cliffhanger. I mean its good and I want to know what happens next but cliffhanger!!!


Charlie Murphy
19:20 Jul 25, 2021

You'll just have to wait. Any suggestions on revising?


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Cliff McElrea
04:23 Jul 24, 2021

You left me hanging! I can't wait to see what the demon has done to Carrie.


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E.C. Nickelson
21:33 Jul 28, 2021

I love your series with these two characters and will have to go back and see what I’ve missed in my 2 month absence. However, if I may just say this in advice. Try adding more descriptions to show a change of scenery between dialogue, more action per se. I say this as somebody who struggles with this as well. Also, I have just posted the second part to my story “Fucked Seven Ways From Sunday”. I know you said that you enjoyed the first part, and as a heads up, the style is somewhat different this go round.


Charlie Murphy
00:48 Jul 29, 2021

Thank you. I'll do that next time.


E.C. Nickelson
01:26 Jul 29, 2021

Of course, Darling! Can’t wait to read your next one!


Charlie Murphy
02:49 Jul 29, 2021

I just submitted another story


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Dhwani Jain
04:53 Jul 28, 2021

Hey, tell as many people as you can that Reedsy's updating this Thursday-Friday and to remember your password, because after it updates you'll need to know it to prove it's you, and we don't want people getting locked out. {This was sent to me by Em, Detective (𝚁𝕒𝚅𝕖𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝕠𝚁𝚗𝚑𝕖𝕒𝚛𝚃)}


Charlie Murphy
15:22 Jul 28, 2021

Thank you. I will.


Dhwani Jain
15:50 Jul 28, 2021



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KarLynn Erickson
22:47 Jul 26, 2021

Nevermind my previous critique. I see I'm late to the party! I will read your other stories with Carrie and Audrey.


Charlie Murphy
23:18 Jul 26, 2021

Thanks. Tell me what you think.


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Eliza Entwistle
23:13 Jul 24, 2021

Good cliffhanger! You may want to make sure that the plot of the story flows smoother next time


Charlie Murphy
01:03 Jul 25, 2021

How can i fix it


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Charlie Murphy
02:13 Jul 25, 2021

I just added


Eliza Entwistle
16:00 Jul 25, 2021

Well, you could always add more detail in between conversations to show the changing of scenes, since it is mostly dialogue. It’s an easy add: just describe what things look like and how people feel, etc.


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Unknown User
21:40 Jul 28, 2021

<removed by user>


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