All I Want for Christmas is Gone

“Anything else for you today?” a voice crackles from the yellow box.

“No, that’s it thanks,” Kennedy says, rolling up her window and creeping forward. She fumbles in her purse for her wallet. She is still three cars away, but better to be prepared than embarrass herself. She laughs at herself as she realizes she’s worried about the opinion of the McDonald’s drive-thru attendant. 

“Thank you so much!” She grins as she takes her bag of food from the attendant. Don’t want them thinking I’m mean, god forbid, she thinks. “Have a great day!” she adds as she pulls away. 

Minutes later she walks through Kate’s front door without knocking. This is what it’s like with Kennedy and her sister. Plus, Kate and the kids are expecting her. 

“Happy meals!” Kennedy says as she rounds the corner into the living room. Three tiny humans leap up from managing their fake restaurant in the living room and run over to greet her. Jakey, the oldest at five years old snatches the bags, runs to the dining table, and dumps out all the happy meals onto the table, plus the cheeseburgers for Kennedy and Kate. 

Sophia, the middle and just under four, hugs Kennedy’s leg and says, “Hi KENNEDY.”

Lottie, barely walking has just made it to the kitchen, and stumbles over to Jakey.

“Thanks, Ken,” says Kate.

They all sit together at the table, the kids deeply involved in their tiny plastic toys.

“So, Bali this year, huh?” Kate asks.

“Yea! I’m meeting a few friends from college. Gonna spend two weeks in this beautiful villa I found.” says Kennedy.

“Man, I’m so jealous. It’s going to be so cold here this year, and I am not excited to have both mom and dad here. In the same house. Together,” Kate says.

“Is this their first holiday together since the divorce? Kennedy asks.

“Yep. I think it might be their first time speaking since the divorce.” Kate says.

“Woah. Crazy. You’d think they would have had something to talk about in the last two years.” Kennedy says.

“Guess not,” says Kate as she stands up to clean up the trash.

“Hey, are you still down to drive me to the airport on Tuesday?” Kennedy asks.

“Yeah, Mom and Dad land at 10:00 and 11:30, so it’s perfect timing to drop you off.”

“Amazing, yeah I’ll be boarding at 11:30 so it’s perfect!” Kennedy says as she stands up. “Ok, I’ll see you Tuesday then. Thanks again!” She kisses each of her nieces and her nephew on the head, and walks out the door, noticing the bitter chill of December in her dash to the car.

____

Tuesday morning. There air is bone-chillingly cold as Kennedy stands in front of her apartment building waiting for Kate. Soon I will be in a pool in a villa in Bali, she thinks.

Kate’s car comes around the corner, slowly. There is black ice today, and flakes of snow start to fall from the pure white sky.

On the way to the airport, it really starts to come down, and by the time they arrive at the airport, it’s dumping. Flakes of snow so big you can almost see their crystalline structures. Cotton ball after cotton ball, falling to the ground and sticking.

They say goodbye on the curb, hugging briefly in the cold. Kennedy rushes inside and gets through security. She makes it to the gate, saying hello and goodbye to her mother on the way. Her dad will be arriving on the same plane she’ll take to JFK before switching to her Bali flight. Her dad’s plane is starting to deboard when she looks up at the departures screen.

“SPOKANE to JFK……CANCELLED” it says in red, along with 35 other flights saying the same.

NO, she thinks, This can’t happen. Kennedy steps into the growing line and gets on her phone. ALL FLIGHTS CANCELLED AT GEG AIRPORT, local news headlines say. Reading more, Kennedy finds out she will not be leaving anytime soon.

“Hey Kennedy” her dad, Mark, says. 

Kennedy jumps. He came out of nowhere, she thinks. 

“Is your flight canceled?” he asks

“Yeah, every flight is cancelled. I’m not going to Bali,” she says, realizing what this means.

It’s fine, she thinks, I’ll still have my own space at my apartment, so I can get away when I need to, and I get on the next flight out.

____

They don’t make it to Kennedy’s apartment. They barely make it back to Kate’s, creeping down the road past spun-out cars and a delivery van upside down in a ditch. Kennedy will be sleeping at Kate’s house tonight. 

“You can bunk with Sophie,” Kate says, “she just got her new bunk beds, so she’ll be very excited for her first official sleepover.”

“Sounds great!” Kennedy says, ignoring the pit deep in her stomach. Something just feels off, but she can’t figure out what it is. A draft flows through the room, chilling Kennedy to the bone.

_____

Spaghetti for dinner, the piping hot bowl sitting smack in the middle of their dinner table. No salad, no veggies, just spaghetti. 

“Victoria… how are you?” Mark says as he pulls up his chair. He’s always been gruff, never once crying during their childhood. Now here is a man Kennedy could tell you almost nothing about. He likes the History Channel and doesn’t know how to cook. That’s pretty much it. Kennedy’s not sure she and Kate ever had a month with the guy their whole lives, but Kate was insistent on her kids knowing their grandparents, so here they all are. 

He sits down and Kennedy feels that chill again. With hunched shoulders, he helps himself to the spaghetti bowl. He spills a little on his hands and it looks like blood. He licks it off with a slurp.

“Fine, Mark, and yourself?” Mom says. He doesn’t respond. We sit in silence for most of the dinner, aside from the kids’ jabber.

Kennedy excuses herself and goes to bed. She sits on her phone before she drifts off, and before she turns it to airplane mode for the night, she checks the airport website. ALL FLIGHTS CANCELLED UNTIL AFTER CHRISTMAS, says a banner in red. Kennedy puts her phone on airplane mode and tucks it under her pillow. If she has to stay here, she’ll just have to sleep through most of it.

____

“Morning Aunt Ken!!” the young ones yell as she walks downstairs. Lottie just offers a toothless smile full of garbles, but she’s trying her best.

Kennedy kisses each one on the head and weaves over to the coffee maker. 

“Where are Mom and Dad?” Kennedy asks as she adds a tiny dash of sugar-free vanilla to her drip coffee.

“Dad went out for a jog a couple of hours ago, and I’m not sure where Mom’s at. I heard some commotion in the bathroom this morning, so she’s probably just getting ready.” Mom always likes to have her hair and makeup done before having coffee. It makes no sense to Kennedy and seems humanly impossible, but that’s Mom.

The backdoor opens and in comes Dad, covered in snow. He looks distracted like something important is on his mind. He shakes his jacket, kicks his boots on the rug to get rid of the snow, and says nothing. He walks to the coffee maker and pours himself a cup. Then, he sits down next to Jakey.

“Morning Dad,” Kennedy says, “How was your run?”

“My run? Oh, yeah. Good. Did a few miles,” Mark says. He looks out the window instead of making eye contact with anyone.

Mark is overweight and doesn’t seem particularly flushed like he’d be if he had been on a run. Not to mention they’re in the middle of a snowstorm.

“Are you going to take a shower?” Kennedy says, thinking she’ll hop in next.

“Oh, yep! Yea, uh, is your mom out yet?” he says.

“I think so, but I’ll go check for you,” says Kate. She bounds upstairs.

They hear her knock and say “Mom, are you done?”

Seconds later, a yell. No, not a yell. A scream. A blood-curdling, uninhibited scream coming from Kate. 

The kids look panicked, so Kennedy says, “Stay here with Bopbop. I’ll be right back,” and runs up the stairs, her long legs taking them three at a time. 

As she turns the corner to the open bathroom door, her scream doesn’t leave her body. It can’t. Sitting there in the tub, crumpled like a paper doll, is Victoria. She’s covered in blood, water from the tub, and, as Kennedy looks closer, scratches. 

David, Kate’s husband, runs in, startled out of his home office by the sound. He is checking a pulse. He is calling 911. He is pulling Kate in close. 

Kennedy is floating away. She says nothing and makes no sound. Her mother. A part of her soul breaks off from her heart and floats away. Years later, that piece will never return. Like a bottle lost at sea, or a paper lantern to the sky, she will never be able to recover that piece, no matter how hard she searches.

Kennedy walks back downstairs to check on the kids. She has always been the one who is better in emergencies, even though she’s three years younger than Kate. Being younger when her parents divorced pushed her to grow up quickly.

As she reaches the kitchen, she sees the three kids still sitting around the table. Jakey has made a mess of his cereal and Lottie is crying. 

“Where’s Bopbop?” Kennedy asks.

Jakey points to the door. Kennedy goes to the window and sees footprints in the snow that lead down the back steps, through the backyard, and into the forest. 

That sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach returns.