The Villains' Day Out (But as Heroes)

Note: Wrote this maybe last year in June for some summer holiday project ehh idk not really great i didnt really bother to edit but thought it fit here so why not

~~~

“You can never deploy my plans!” The Chax laughed maniacally.

That’s what every villain says! Come on now, just give up on your stupid ‘take-over-the-city’ plans. What will you even do after taking over anyway?” Shanley rolled his eyes.

“Look who’s talking! If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t even have a reason to do this job!

Where would you earn money from then?”

Shanley wanted to talk back, but what the villain said sure did make sense.

There was a sudden roar in the sky and a helicopter landed right beside them.

“About time!” The Chax clapped cheerfully, “Mallory, my dear friend! The last time I saw you was at the Evil Tea Catch-Up!”

A sinister-looking grin was plastered on the stout guy who hopped off the helicopter, “Chax, the most wicked! Oh, I’ve got a lot of tea to spill! Wait till you hear about-”

“Yes, yes, we’ll have a separate talk about that later. First, let’s deal with... that” The Chax pointed at Shanley as if he was something disgusting.

Shanley smirked, “Not so fast!” He pressed a button on his belt and almost immediately footsteps could be heard.

Two caped heroes stood behind The Shanley.

“Oh come on, this feels so unfair!” Cried The Mallory, “We’re powerful too, why don’t they send experienced heroes to fight us?! There’s no fun in playing around with the newbies!”

“I know right? Oh, I’m tempted to meet our old enemy almighty Hal-”

“Who called me?”

An old man in a golden cape landed on the rooftop floor.

The Shanley rolled his eyes, “No one called you, sir Halbert.”

“What do you mean by that? I am here to fight crime! Stand for justice! Bring peace to the city!”

The Kayle- yet another youthful hero sighed, “Sorry old sire, you've already retired! We’re going to deal with these villains today.”

“Chax! Mallory! It sure has been a while!”

The villains snickered in glee.

“Unfortunately, I shall have to defeat you today!”

He focused on them with all his willpower, yet created nothing but a small tremor in the ground.

The villains looked at each other, almost as if exchanging messages with nothing but their looks, and fell down deliberately, “Oh no, Halbert has defeated us, again!”

Halbert gleamed proudly.

Shanley let out a scoff and muttered something in annoyance. “Come on, let’s just go. I don’t think they're doing any harm. We have other things to do.”

The Chax and Mallory got up, brushing off the dust from their clothes, The Chax clapped his hands. “Well, well, old man. It’s been a while, why not come for some

nice tea, eh?” He gestured towards the staircase, which led to this home.

“Why not, why not! I have a lot of tea to spill!” The Mallory snickered.

“And I would like to have some biscuits for a change!” Halbert gleamed.

~~~

“All I have to do now is find them all...” The cloaked person smirked, testing his weapons.

“Hmm, perhaps I could leave out the old one, he’s too senile.”

~~~

“So the Dearil has escaped?!” Halbert tried to chew his biscuits with difficulty.

“Dearil was a dolt! A big dunce! He used to steal my stuff back in Evil High all the time!”

Chax scorned.

“And he might become powerful if he gets hold of the new.” Mallory nodded, dipping his biscuit in his tea.

“The new... what is that supposed to mean?” Chax wondered.

The stout man put his tea down, “Well, you see-”

A loud boom echoed, causing the teacups to move violently.

“Oh, what on this earth was that?” Halbert coughed.

“Beats me!”

They rushed out.

Another loud noise.

After looking for a while, Mallory laughed, “Oh I know for sure what that is!”

He stood at the edge of the roof, and on top of his lungs screamed, “HEY, YOU DUMMY! CAN YOU TURN THE VOLUME DOWN FOR A WHILE! I’M TRYING TO EAT SOME CAKE!”

The booming immediately stopped and a very red in the face man stood- well, floating-

behind him. “What did I tell you about... EATING MY FOOD FROM THE FRIDGE?”

The ground shook violently and everyone fell down.

The Mallory got back up quickly, before the man could do anything he spoke, “Woah there, Draven. Use your brain, nitwit! I’m on a rooftop, not our dorm! I don’t have any cake with me either!”

Draven calmed down and stopped levitating.

“Chax, Halbert, meet my roommate, Draven.”

The man slightly bowed, then looked at the hero’s robes, “Sir Halbert?! It’s been a while since I’ve fought you!”

“It sure has!” Halbert chuckled, “Earthquake Ejector. That was your idea, wasn’t it?”

The Draven reddened a bit.

“Why were you going around causing that loud noise though?” Chax questioned, impatient.

He shrugged, “I was bored. And the new heroes have disappeared. I was trying to grab their attention but they just seem to be ignoring me!”

“Weren’t they with us just a few minutes ago?!” Mallory gasped. He suddenly felt his pocket vibrating and took out his phone.

He stared at it, while the others tried to make out what the muffled voices meant.

“Oh, you guys have to see this!”

Everyone rushed over, and Mallory rewind the video he had received.

~

“What’s up, my friends from high school! Or should I say, enemies? I’m sure that snobby old Mallory is with his good for nothing friend Chax! Well, I have something to show you both!”

He shifted his camera, showing four figures tied up, those four figures being the-

“The new heroes!” Chax screamed. “That’s what you meant by ‘the new’!”

Mallory nodded.

“I bet you had a sudden realisation, and yes, I am going to succeed now! I will rule over this city!” Dearil laughed through the phone as the video abruptly switched off.

“I never really got the deal with villains taking over the city, I’m just here for threatening people to give me food.” Draven shrugged.

“We have to get them back!” Halbert said urgently.

“But oldie, you don’t see! You’re a hero! We’re villains! And we don’t save people! That’s not part of our job requirement! Besides, you've done enough in your time. You should settle back and live your remaining years in peace.”

“Not gonna lie, I don’t want to see Dearil’s mocking smile as he takes over every restaurant in the city while we just watch...” Mallory squeaked up.

Chax thought for a while and nodded in agreement.

“Well? Then? Are we going to fight him or not?! I’m dying to see some action!” Draven clapped his hands.

"It's been so long since I've seen any action, there is no way I can miss this!" Halbert demanded.

~~~

“Now where would a villain’s hideout be?” Draven looked around, with the others walking around aimlessly.

“You’re a villain. You of all should know the best!” Halbert said, almost accusingly.

“A stationery shop, perhaps?” Mallory thought.

Chax’s face lit up, “Of course! He wasn’t named Pencil Pickpocket for no reason!”

They set out but abruptly stopped.

Of course, in this large city, how would they find a stationery shop with a secret villain base?

“Don’t worry, I can find it!”

Draven took out his phone and started typing almost immediately.

“Kids these days! How will you be able to find a real-life shop with that box!” Halbert shook his head.

“Found it!” Draven gleamed, without looking up and suddenly running.

Either nobody on the street cared about 4 guys in weird robes running down the street, or they were too busy to even look at them.

~~~

“Wasn’t that hard to find, was it?” Chax shook his head in disbelief.

They walked inside the shop with a large red sign reading “DEARIL STATIONERY” in an eye-sore of a font.

The inside was as ordinary as a stationery shop can be.

They examined the shop to look for any traps or secret rooms.

“Hey what’s this red button for?” Halbert called over everyone.

The floor beneath them collapsed and they fell into a dungeon-like place.

“Oh, how I love the internet- it’s just so fast!” Dearil walked out of a room- presumably the room with the new heroes. “Did you seriously think it would be this easy? I bet you made first guesses and followed them! Oh and I can see that maps app on your phone, Draven!” he snorted.

“And we were right all of those times,” Mallory whispered under his breath.

“Oh let me tell you all about my plan!” He further talked to himself, as if no one else was in the room. “My laptop? Where’s my laptop?”

He looked at us with squinted eyes, “Just you guys wait- I’ll bring my laptop and show you the PowerPoint presentation!”

He rushed up the stairs in the corner, which led to the boring stationery shop cover-up.

“Did he just forget to tie us up or something?”

The group of people looked at each other awkwardly then proceeded to run into the room.

“OMG they actually came!” Xami- another remarkable novice, gasped in surprise.

“Were you waiting for us?! Aren’t there any other heroes in this city who could save you?!”

Chax furrowed his brows.

“Besides we’re villains! Why are we even saving heroes?” Draven scratched his head.

They had a mental crisis trying to process what was happening while Halbert started to untie the tied up heroes, “Hey will you guys help this old man?”

The three villains snapped into reality and rushed to work.

“We need to run away, he’ll be coming here soon!”

“We can just teleport, LOL.” Shanley shrugged.

“Yeah, we couldn’t teleport because we were tied up.” Kayle pointed out.

“You guys can... teleport?!” Mallory gasped.

“Can’t every hero?”

There was a silence of confusion until loud footsteps were heard.

“Fast! You guys need to leave!” Chax urged them.

“But what about-”

“We’re experienced enough to handle Dearil! After all, it's four of us against him. Fair enough.”

And so they rushed out of the room, back into their original place.

Dearil walked in with a red face, “I heard you! You let them go!”

He screamed and wailed like a kid.

“Just you wait!” He opened his laptop and slammed its key- causing a cage to fall right on the villains and the senile hero. “Now I’ll never lose again!”

“Alright friends, it’s been a long day, I’m tired now.” Chax slumped his shoulders and sat down.

“So now we wait here for our doom?”

“Not so fast!” The new heroes stepped out of the room.

Kayle got hold of Dearil and immediately disappeared.

Xami walked towards them and with just one touch, the cage melted away.

Kayle suddenly reappeared. “He’s in the hands of the hero police now. No need to worry anymore.”

~~~

“So that’s it?” Draven stretched his arms. “It was oddly... too obvious and easy.”

The new heroes shared a knowing look.

“We knew exactly what you guys had to do and well... we used telepathy to give you ideas...” Shanley confessed, a bit red in the face.

Chax nodded. “That was impressive as hell. But at this point I’m too tired to be surprised. I’ve had enough for a day. Maybe even a week. I’ll even ask my company for a holiday and-”

“But before that, I think we owe an apology to some people.” Mallory looked at him.

Chax looked at him confused, but soon realised what he meant.

They quickly shifted their glance to the new heroes and slightly bowed, “By the name of the greatest villain of all times, we apologize for underestimating your skills as a hero and are willing to fight against you with respect.”

“It’s alright.” Shanley let out a chuckle, “let’s not drag this anymore and go home.”

And so, everyone parted and went their way. Except, of course, Draven and Mallory. They lived together and had to deal with each other all the time. Sounds hard enough.