The Waiting

I still walk in the dark, searching for a light to guide me to find the exit door. Nobody is here, the place where I stay. Only me with my empty world, filled with loneliness. Sometimes I feel like I do not exist at all, and sometimes I feel like it just my dream - a dream from my long deep sleep in the middle of the night. No daytime, but no sleep. I keep walking to find an end. I cry for help, but no one is listening. I pray for guidance, but no one is answering. No food and no water. No time to eat and drink. ‘Listen! Listen! I am here begging for someone help!’- Still, silent.

“You are still waiting, don’t you?”

A blond man sat next to Amanda and handed her a cup of hot coffee. Amanda rolls her eyes and stands from the brown bench. The man pulls her right arm to stop her from leaving the place.

“Mark, I don’t want to be your enemy, but please. Please don’t force me like this. I just -"

Mark puts his finger on Amanda’s lips to make her quite. Amanda can’t finish her words. She only can give a sharp glance to Mark.

“I know. I understand what you mean, but...Isn’t it obvious? Everyone knew about this. Not only you or me.”

Mark releases his grip and Amanda sat down on the bench. Her eyes turn into red and started to cry. No word, only facial expression shown. Mark felt pity when he saw tears streaming down her cheeks. He softly wipes it with his fingers.

"You know what? I was hurt by your rudeness, but you always used my weakness to persuade me."

Amanda smile.

“Don’t you think the same thing about you? You are always looking for my weakness to win my heart, again.”

Both of them are laughing.

“Mark, I don’t know how you feel but maybe I know what you’re thinking about.”

Mark drinks the hot coffee since Amanda refuses to accept.

“Yeah...it’s maybe. And I also don’t know how you feel when you ended everything and started a new thing, leaving me behind - alone”

Amanda is speechless. Mark was true. To be called a rude person, she is the right one to hold the title. However, changes by time have nothing to do with anyone. Everyone change. Even the seasons' changes, how about people?

“Seasons changes, and so do people.”

Amanda looks into Mark's eyes when he said the words.

“At least, they will come every year and the feeling is still the same. Winter is still winter, spring is still spring, summer is still summer, and autumn is still autumn. Nothing changes at all. They only take their turn to come. What about people?”

He sighed.

“People may stay the same, but the feelings changed. The changes in people are their feeling and attitude. You can have the same people with you but not the same feeling or attitude anymore.”

Mark stand from the bench and walk towards a nearby dustbin to throw his empty paper cup. After that, he back to Amanda.

“I will keep waiting, same as you. We will wait together until this waiting ended.”

Amanda started to cry again, but this time Mark just ignored her.

Day by day, I can feel my body become weak. I’m tired of finding a way home. I’m not feeling hungry or thirsty, but this long journey suffers my soul. The worst thing happened when I don’t even know myself either! In the middle of no way to go, I can hear voices of the unknown for the first time, talking and whispering - “5 centimetres per seconds” “I think 2 centimetres per seconds” “No, it only 1 centimetre per seconds.” I cry for help once more, hoping that they can hear my silent voice. My voice, it froze in my throat.

“Thanks for the ride and...”

Amanda sighed. She can’t finish her words. She felt guilty.

“You are almost welcome. No need to talk too much if you don’t have enough words to say. Just sit down.”

Amanda nodded. The place was too quiet and she started to feel uneasy. Sitting there only both of them, just remind her about the past. It made her feel even guilty.

“Feel awkward? Why not listen to music then?”

She took her headphone and started to listen to the Michael Learns to Rock album. Mark made a short glance into her smartphone. Amanda put her headphone off.

“What’s wrong?”

Mark asked.

“I don’t like the song.”

Mark chuckles.

“Still listening to your favourite artist, huh? Let me guess. Are you listening to Complicated Heart by MLTR just now?”

No answers from Amanda.

“I love the chorus of the song. I think it is beautiful lyrics.”

Amanda is still quiet. She put her headphone inside his bag.

“Leave me alone.”

Amanda looks straight into Mark’s eyes.

“No. I won’t.”

Mark doesn't want to leave Amanda alone. He still wanted to sit next to her.

“Let bygones be bygones. It’s over.”

Mark doesn't move. He suddenly embraces Amanda tightly. His eyes red, and tears streaming down his cheeks. Amanda shocked but done nothing.

“No. I won’t. I’ll still keep waiting.”

Amanda releases herself from Mark’s arms.

“You don’t know what I am waiting for and I don’t know what you’re waiting for. So, please... Let me alone.”

This is the first time she saw Mark crying. Thus, she let him stay by her side.

“If you are waiting for me, it won’t happen again. I will not get back to the past.”

Amanda gives him her handkerchief.

"You don't know much about me. I used to not be the same as I am now."

Mark laid his hands on his head and gently rubbed it.

“No. You are wrong. I know much about you, but you are the one who doesn’t know much about me.”

The voices were gone and suddenly I saw a light from afar. I run after it, hoping that it is an exit door for this dark place. As I reached the light, someone whispers to my ears, “It’s the time”. And I don’t feel anything anymore.

“Is anyone named Mark here?”

Man in the turquoise blue dress comes out with sweat on his forehead. Mark looks at Amanda for seconds.

“Our waiting ended here.”

Amanda is confused.

“Mr Mark, we are sorry.”

Mark is speechless for a while when he heard the words from the man. 

“Mark, does it mean...”

Amanda started to cry.

“You just lose your future husband and I’m losing my elder brother.”

Amanda shocked. She can’t believe it! Mike is Mark’s elder brother, and both of them are waiting for the same person for a personal reason?!

“Why don’t you tell me early that he is your brother? Why!”

Mark embraces her and this time Amanda doesn’t refuse it. She cries in Mark's arms with heartbroken.

“That is because he is my brother and you are my future sister-in-law.”

Amanda looks into Mark’s eyes.

“You’re an idiot.”

She murmured.