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Fiction Funny

Skully was a skeleton. He was tall, skinny and nothing but bones. You know, like I said, a skeleton. His life wasn’t very interesting. He waited. That’s all. He waited. He lived in a little cottage in the nicest cemetery in the city. At least Skully thought it was the nicest. It must be. It was all graves and dirt. Some of the graves were open. Most were closed. There were nice headstones spread out. They all had mold and spiderwebs. It was beautiful. The headstones always had fun little writings on them. Forever in our hearts… Devoted mother… Devoted father… Now protecting us from above… It was all hilarious stuff. At least Skully thought it was hilarious. He understood so little about those things. Or was it remember little about those things? These days he couldn’t tell.

His cottage was very comfortable. Nobody thought anything strange about a nice little cottage in the corner of a cemetery. Nobody asked about it. Nobody paid it any mind. And Skully was a happy skeleton. Living on his own in the nicest cemetery in the city.

Skully loved being alone. For a little while. After a little while being alone wasn’t so great. He couldn’t remember if he lived with other skeletons before. He’d been in that little cottage for so long! But he didn’t spend much time worrying about such things. He spent most of his time sitting in his comfy blue chair and waiting. There was a cuckoo clock on the wall. A beautiful vintage clock. Except it didn’t tell the time like normal clocks did. This cuckoo clock was special. It was in the shape of a pumpkin and an arrow slowly made its way to the word HALLOWEEN. As you can guess, it took the arrow exactly one year to go all the way around. There was only one thing Skully cared in the world. And that was Halloween. The year had almost passed. And it was almost time again.

IT’S HALLOWEEN! IT’S HALLOWEEN! cried the cuckoo clock.

“Oh Halloween! How exciting! How magnificent. This is the one thing I look forward all year,” said Skully. To absolutely nobody. “Time to prepare! It’s the busiest time of year after all.” It was his only busy time of year after all.

Skully put on his boots. They were green rain boots. And he put on his coat. It was a beautiful purple coat. He tied his scarf. It was a soft blue scarf. And finally he put on his hat. A gorgeous red hat with a feather.

Skully looked at his reflection in the mirror.

“Oh how I love myself!” he said. Yes, he said that. I hope you don’t get the wrong impression of Skully. I know he might seem a bit full of himself. Especially for a skeleton that spends so many days alone. But after many, many long years, he learned to love himself. And we should all be proud of him.

Skully made his way to a happy little neighborhood close to the cemetery. It was a small neighborhood, not very different from most neighborhoods. The houses were small. Their front yards were small. Their backyards were small. Their mailboxes were small. Even their dogs and cats were small. Or maybe they were big. It was the only neighborhood Skully ever visited so he couldn’t be completely sure of their size compared to other neighborhoods and houses and mailboxes and dogs and cats.

But even though if he couldn’t tell whether the neighborhood was big or small (or maybe medium?) Skully knew that it was the best neighborhood in the world. Because for Halloween all of his friends came by! You see, many years ago Skully had tried visiting the neighborhood. Back then, he didn’t like spending so much time alone in his little cottage. So he thought he could introduce himself to the neighbors. Maybe even invite them over the little cottage and talk about all the funny headstones.

So one day he did. He walked to the neighborhood and he saw a young man. He walked to him, ready for a handshake. But the young man saw him and started screaming and running away from him. This scared Skully so that he ran away, too.

“People wear clothes”, he thought. “Maybe I should, too.”

Skully dusted off his old sewing machine and with whatever fabric he could find around the little cottage (curtains, rugs, table cloths), he sewed and sewed until he had made a suit. Or what he thought was a suit. Yes it had sleeves and pants, but they all had different lengths. And they were all different colors. Skully put it on and looked at himself in the mirror.

“This will do,” he said. “I think I look okay.” And look okay he did. As okay as a skeleton wearing a suit that he sewed himself.

The next day, he went back to the neighborhood and this time he saw an old couple. He went over to them, ready for a handshake. But the old couple took one look at him and started screaming. They tried running away, but they did so very slowly. They were both on walkers. But Skully understood that he was not welcome.

Skully almost gave up. One night he heard a noise coming from the graveyard.

“Come one, hurry!” said a gruff voice.

“If ya want me to hurry, then help me carry all this stuff!” said another.

Skully beamed! Visitors! He didn’t know they were grave robbers. Evil men who dug up graves and stole valuable items from the deceased. Or maybe they just thought it was fun. Or both.

Skully put on his suit and ran outside.

“Friends, friends!” he said. The men, however, heard ROAAAAARGHHH BLWARRRRRGH which is what you hear in your mind when you are robbing graves at night and a skeleton walks towards you.

The men screamed and ran away, dropping all of the items he was carrying. Mostly jewelry and clothes. Skully thought: “How curious, where did these men find all these clothes? Oh, they must be from the neighborhood! They must have seen me in my suit and because, I admit, it’s not the nicest suit, they must’ve come over to give me all of these beautiful clothes! Oh how nice of them!”

Skully took the pile of clothes and jewels inside. The jewels he didn’t care for, but the clothes were glorious. He tried all of the items. Coats, hats, dresses, shoes, bags, all wonderful. From so many different decades. How happy he was. And then finally he found the green boot, the purple coat, the blue scarf and the red hat with the feather and he thought. This is it. This is the look.

The next night he went off to the neighborhood, but something really strange was happening. There were no people to greet. There were only monsters and witches and vampires. Pumpkins everywhere! Ghosts and yes, skeletons walking freely. Everyone chatting and having fun. Everyone eating candy. Little monsters in groups knocking on doors.

What had happened? He approached a couple of witches and asked them: “Excuse me ladies, what is this? Why are all the monsters out today?”

“What do you mean? It’s Halloween! It’s the best night of the year!” said one witch and both witches laughed.

“Nice costume,” said a mummy.

“Cool costume, dude,” said a werewolf.

“Hey guys! Look at the skeleton! He looks awesome!” said a zombie.

And they all took turns taking pictures with Skully. And Skully loved it!

After that evening there was only one night for him. He waited all year round for that one special day where he could come out and be himself. And every year he was a hit. Everyone loved Skully and his clothes. He was always so busy that the hours passed by so quickly and then off he was, walking back home to sit on his chair to look at the cuckoo clock and look at the arrow and wait for it to say that it was finally his busiest day:

“IT’S HALLOWEEN! IT’S HALLOWEEN!”

October 29, 2021 00:09

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