The Fag That Saved You.

“Hey Sis, it’s Christmas. You can cross me off of your wish list. Call Santa Claus and the Missus. We gon’ have the best Christmas that ever existed.” RuPaul’s Christmas Party album -the censored version- blasts through the speakers as drag queens dance around the stage. It’s the first annual family friendly Christmas Extravaganza sponsored by the LGBTQIA+ alliance. A few dollar bills float down like snowflakes through spins, kicks, hip pops, and death drops. The queens took extra care to tone it down for this show, fake boobs and padded asses fully covered. It’s all about beautiful wigs, beat makeup, snatched outfits, a lot less heavy on the sex stuff because you know, kids.

Families fill the crowd dressed in rainbows and most people seem to be truly enjoying themselves. This is exactly what Julian wanted to create, a safe space for self-expression and to let the kids know that it’s okay to be yourself, it’s okay to be different.

Protestors hold large signs near the back of the crowd. “STOP GROOMING CHILDREN”, “GOD HATES FAGS” and “CHILD ABUSE” are sprawled in large angry letters.

“God hates fags, huh? Yea that’s a great thing to be teaching your children.” Julian thinks as he peers out from behind backstage.

Anti-protestors hold up signs with messages that say, “LOVE WINS”, “TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS” and “EVERYONE IS WELCOME”.

It always strikes Julian as ironic that religious people can be so hateful when they follow a god who is all about the opposite. “Didn’t Jesus like hang with prostitutes or something?” Julian wonders, he is pretty sure that happened at some point. Seeking out the broken, the damned, the bad, showing them kindness, love and acceptance. That’s all Julian wants to accomplish with organizing this family drag show. To show those who don’t fit into society that they are still loved. His heart aches as he remembers growing up hating himself. Never feeling right, never knowing why he couldn’t stop the butterflies that fluttered when he was around certain guys, never the girls. Julian so wanted it to be the girls who stirred his desire but to his family’s disappointment that just never happened.

Julian pushes away the bad memories and lets out a deep sigh as he checks his wig for security a final time. “Boom, bright. Christmas, white. Reindeers pulling that sleigh tonight. All of Santa’s elves be giving me life” RuPaul continues to belt out lyrics as Julian sashays across the stage as the fabulous Julia Sees Her. Get it? Julius Caesar – Julia Sees Her. Julian is particularly proud of his drag name, seeing it as a metaphor for assassinating his old self doubts. Which isn’t easy to do when you’ve lived your whole life hating yourself.

Towards the back of the community center, proudly holding the “GOD HATES FAGS” sign is David. David also grew up with a lot of hate in his heart. David was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household where traditional gender roles and extreme obedience were strictly enforced. Anything outside of the traditional family unit was an abomination in David’s opinion. Feminism and “whatever you wanna call this bullshit” are ruining the country. It’s disgusting how men in dresses are prancing around on stage, collecting money like strippers, and poisoning the minds of our youth with all this gender and pronoun nonsense. If you have a penis, you’re a man. He/His, end of story. If you have a vagina, you’re a woman. She/her, nothing else to discuss.

The show wraps up with a “lip sync for your life” battle featuring volunteers from the crowd. The audience loved it and some of the older kids volunteered to come up on stage and give it their all. Julian is feeling so blessed with how the show has gone. He was so nervous organizing an event like this, but the feeling of love and community are overwhelming and not even the protestors can squash his pride.

Police officers guide the crowd of protestors out of the community center and to the front of the building. They are allowed to continue protesting peacefully on the sidewalk but can’t be inside after the official event has ended. “Let’s let them clean up in peace.” Officer Williams tells David as he directs him outside.

“Why should they have any peace when they are disgusting pedophiles?” David asks. He is still holding his “GOD HATES FAGS” sign and wonders if maybe “DRAG QUEENS ARE PEDOPHILES” would have been a better option. He curses himself for not thinking of that sooner. “Fucking sick bastards.”

“Yep, that’s fine if you feel that way, but you can’t stay inside. They have the community center rented out and right now you’re not on the guest list.” Officer Williams pulls out gloves from a coat pocket and puts them on. It’s a bitterly cold day and it’s beginning to rain. “Now you’re more than welcome to stay here but I would advise you and your friends to head on home. There is an ice storm coming and I’m not trying to respond to any more traffic accidents than necessary.”

“Whatever, I can’t believe my tax dollars are paying you to protect these assholes.” David has a lot more that he wants to say to Officer Williams, but he can tell by the look on his face that he’s pushing it. He crumples up his sign, throws it on the ground, and starts to walk to his truck.

“Littering is a $150 ticket.”

“Fuck you, man.” David mumbles under his breath as he turns around and picks up the wet posterboard then heads to his truck. The ignition turns over with a little chug, not a fan of the cold. “Come on you old bitch, don’t fail me now.” David pats the dash of his little ‘08 Ford F-150. He wants to get something more reliable but with this damn economy used vehicles are approaching new prices and new vehicles are completely unobtainable unless you have an extra $800 a month for a car payment and David doesn’t. He blames the “plan-demic”, as he calls it, and the damn democrats for ruining America. He exits the parking lot thinking about how he’ll post todays protest on Truth Social when he gets home, it’s the right thing to do, warn others about the perverts in dresses and heels trying to corrupt America’s children.  

The rain continues to fall, faster now, coming down in icy sheets that crunch under tires and feet. Julian is finally exiting the community center 2 and a half hours after the show ended. Getting glitter out of the carpet took a surprisingly long time, something he doesn’t usually have to worry about with shows at the club. He also felt obligated to get everyone out of there as fast as possible considering the storm moving in, so he volunteered to stay behind insisting “No, I am sure, I’ve got it, get home before it gets bad out.” A decision he is starting to regret once he realizes how slick the roads are. His Jeep Wrangler slides right through the intersection past the community center but thankfully no one is coming so he takes a deep breath and continues towards home.

Julian’s five minutes from home when he notices a red glow coming from the ditch past the right shoulder of the road. He lets off the gas pedal and slowly coasts to a stop. It’s hard to see through the sleet but he knows something isn’t right. “I better go take a look” Julian thinks to himself as he turns his hazard lights on and exits the Jeep. Flat footed and waddling, Julian makes his way to the edge of the road. “Walk like a penguin and you won’t fall.” He repeats this mantra until he’s across the black ice and standing firmly in the crunchy grass. “Shit” he gasps when he sees a little F-150 at the bottom of the ditch.

Julian runs down the ditch so quickly he loses his footing in the icy grass and half falls half slides up to the truck. He can see someone inside slumped forward, their seatbelt the only thing holding their body upright. The door cracks as Julian wrenches the frozen hinges open. The first thing that catches his eye is a white crumpled posterboard on the floor of the truck. He can read the word “FAGS” and realizes it’s a protestor from the show. His heart drops. “Oh no. No, no, no. Not this guy, anyone but this guy.” Julian thinks for a split second “serves him right, bigoted asshole, karma is a bitch” but then his better instincts take over and he reaches out to check David for a pulse.

It's faint but it’s there. Julian lets out a huge breath he didn’t realize he was holding and tries to think of what to do. “Sir, can you hear me?” A faint moan escapes from David and his eyes flutter but don’t fully open. Looking at him Julian can see his leg is at an odd angle and there is blood on his jeans. “Broken leg, most definitely.” Julian thinks. “Sir, you’ve been in an accident, can you hear me? I am going to call for help!” Julian turns to scale back up the icy ditch but stops when he hears David’s voice.

“No! No 911!” David has gained some consciousness back, but he can’t be in his right mind.

“I’m pretty sure your bone is sticking out of your leg, man. I’m going to call for an ambulance.”

“NO!! I said no 911!” David’s voice grows stronger. “I can’t afford the ambulance ride.” He grunts and tries to sit up straight but almost passes out from the pain.

Julian has no idea what to do. This man obviously needs medical attention. “Well, you need to get to the hospital! Can I help you?” Julian reaches out to touch the man then thinks better of it. This man hates him, hates everything he stands for, Julian doesn’t think the man can hurt him in this state, but he doesn’t want to test the theory. “I really think you need an ambulance, man! You could be in shock!”. Julian reaches for his cell phone.

“No! Just help me get back on the road and I can drive myself to the hospital.” David tries to sit up again but it’s obvious he can’t do it.

There is no way Julian is going to tow this guy back onto the road. “That’s not going to work, have you seen your leg? Also, I don’t think your truck is drivable man, even if you could use both your legs, you’re not going to make it to the hospital.”

David looks down at his leg and for the first time realizes the odd angle of it, the blood on his jeans. He leans over to the passenger seat and pukes.

“Thanks for proving my point.” Julian mumbles under his breath. “Look man, I’ve got to call 911. There is no way you can drive yourself, and I can’t get you up the ditch by myself. Even if I could get you up to the road, it’s pure ice, we’d fall all over the place and mess your leg up even more.” Julian pulls his phone out and starts to dial.

David looks up at Julian’s face for the first time and notices the full makeup that hasn’t been washed away yet. “Why are you doing this to me?” All the hate he feels is boiling just below the surface. He can’t stand the injustice of it all. He wouldn’t have even been out tonight if it weren’t for this guy and now the universe is rubbing it in. Punishing him for trying to do a good deed and protect families from freaks like this. “Just leave me alone.” David reaches for the door to shut it in Julian’s face but the pain from the movement overtakes him.

“Doing what, trying to help you not die?” Julian can’t believe he’s standing outside in the middle of an ice storm, fighting with someone who obviously hates his guts. “I know how you feel about me but I’m not going to walk away and leave you here like this, you’re injured, you’re in shock. You need medical attention, dumbass!”

David scoffs at the insult. He wants to be offended but deep down he knows this guy is right, he really does need help. “Fuck!” David slams his palm against the steering wheel and then braces himself against waves of pain that radiate through his body. It goes against everything in him to accept help from a gay man, a gay man in full makeup none the less, but he is desperate for the pain to stop. Fighting the urge to vomit again he waves his hand towards Julian who takes that as an indication of agreement and dials 911.

Icy rain continues to fall in sheets while they wait for EMS to arrive. Julian pulls his coat tighter and braces himself against the wind. “You’re going to be okay, they’re on the way!”

David looks at Julian standing outside the truck in the freezing rain and his hate starts to fade. Maybe it’s the pain, maybe it’s the freezing cold, it’s probably shock, but suddenly their differences don’t seem that important. Just two humans, trying to survive society and the elements at the same time. David notices his crumpled-up sign on the floorboard of the truck and feels embarrassed by it. Just a few hours ago he was screaming in protest at the man who might have just saved his life. He should say something, but he doesn’t know what.

Blue and red lights flash down into the ditch as the ambulance arrives. “They’re here.” Julian is freezing cold and ready for this night to be over.  He steps away from the truck and starts to walk away before he hears David start to say something.

“Thank you.” He says quietly, then a little louder. “Thanks for helping me”.

Julian turns back to look at David and nods. “You’re welcome”.

“I’m sorry.” David almost whispers. He doesn’t explain what he’s sorry for, but Julian doesn’t need him to.

“Don’t be sorry, just remember the fag that saved you next time you want to make a sign.”