The Space Dreamer's Dream

The muscles in his face tensed. His veins started to bulge and he clenched his fist hard. I leaned against him and we continued to watch. The monstrosity of humans. 

“Well...are you ready to go?” I asked, still staring at the mess.

“I don't know. Honestly when will I ever be ready to go?” he replied, almost lifeless. We couldn't remove our eyes. It had us intensely mesmerized.

“Well it's getting dark.” 

“But does it have to?”

“That's the way of the world.”

“Sadly enough;” His muscles had relaxed. Silently we walked back to the house. When we reached our tiny excuse for living condition, I punched in the code and the door slid open. Its artificial white glow stung my eyes. “How come I have to leave under these conditions?” I couldn't think of anything. 

“Well...at least you’ll be somewhere else than this mess.” I opened our blinds and the mess stacked all around our house. It left a brown residence around the window.

“But how could I leave you?” his eyes searched me. 

“I will be fine.” I looked at him and used his expression like a mirror. I could tell he knew I was lying. I wasn't going to be happy living on this planet. It was covered in filth and waste. The brown and grey skies loomed above and made an eerie glow throughout the world. When you breathed you felt the sand and dirt pile up in your lungs. It stuck to your throat and nostrils. It was dreadfully and horribly depressing. At least having Ever made it better. 

“Can you imagine what the world was?” as said as I looked out the window. Fantasies played in my mind. 

“Blue skies.”

“Blue water.” 

“Green hills.”

“Trees.”

“Flowers.” 

“Stars.”

“Don't worry you will be surrounded by those in no time.” I turned and saw him stop packing. He took a few deep breaths. His eyes got a watery glare on them. I made my way over to him. When I got close he stood up and our eyes met. Without a word said we hugged and began crying. If only we’d never met. If only he’d never taken this opportunity, we could live through this gruesome mess together. I imagined what he would have to live through in space. Just gallivanting through dreams all day. I felt jealousy spark in the back of my mind. As soon as it did I shoved it down. This was his opportunity. This was his future. And even if it didn't have me in it that's okay. 

“Remember that time we played in the junkyard and made instruments?”

“We were the best.”

“Remember when we found all of those old books? Those were some of the best things we dug out before they hit the burning pit.” 

“For sure.” 

“I miss our garbage fort.”

“We shall live today…” I remember running through the junkyard. Searching and nit picking for any hidden treasures. Little things, the small itsy pieces, those were priceless. They let us see through a keyhole what the world was like. 

“...and we shall live tomorrow…” Tomorrow Never will be heading to the space center to be loaded. He will prepare and get checked so many times for so many things. Then off he goes. Floating through space searching for a new planet. Well he won't be searching for a new planet. More the opposite. 

“...we will live no matter our conditions…” I remember his brown hair all spiked and ruffled with his hazel eyes lit up when he was told of his position. He was practically jumping wall to wall with excitement. He even ran up to me and lifted me through the air. He just couldn't help himself. He couldn't think of anything else besides space. Not even me.

“...whether they be good and healthy…” Right now he stands in front of me. The hazel eyes are a little wiser. The brown hair is a little shorter and cleaner. He finally grew into a man and his life is being stolen from him.

“...or bad and rotten…” I remember our parents. They believed we, mankind, were a terrible thing. At first I never understood, but lately I see clearly. 

“...the great SOTP will save us all!” we shout with all of our might. 

“...SHELTER! OF THE POOR!” then with that we burst out with laughter. Tears were still wet on my face, but I didn't care. I looked at his bag. Only prized possessions were packed. His clothes were going to be given to him upon arrival. 

“So...want some food?” He smiled and walked to the kitchen. I heard him open the fridge then the pantry. After some clanking of dishes he came back with all the possible sweet food we had. He placed his findings beside me and went off again. All I could do is smile. Anything Ever did in this attitude always ended well. No matter what. 

“Look what I got!” and he came marching in the room with a box. We both plop down on the couch and he pulls it on his lap. He runs his hands against the cold metal edges and pops the lock. With a reach in and out he pulls out a book. A real life paper copy we found when we rummaged through the scrap yard. It was a children's food book, but half of these foods did not exist. After all their beautiful fruit trees went missing, people seemed to forget what they tasted like. That's why we have fake, artificial, man made “fruit.” They are far from fruit. Much less. 

“Look.” He held the cover like it was life itself. Then he began flipping through the pages. We are trying to say the ancient names. 

“apples...APP-LES!” I shout and pretend like I have just won a lottery. Ever giggles and continues to the next word. 

“Man-go.” He says in his fancy voice. He stands and takes a long bow, then plops back on the white cushions. We continue our little game till the end of the book. Looking at the pictures and trying our best not to butcher the words. 

“Wanna know something funny?”

“And what is “funny”?”

“Well children. I mean BABIES! Used to be able to say these. These were everyday things. They gave away free app-les and man-goes to people. The old world took them for granted and looked outside!” He bolted over to the window and jerked the blinds open again. “Do you see this?!” When he said it his smile faded and became a frown. His eyes had sorrow and grief in them.

“You said ‘funny’.”

“What?”

“You said ‘funny’ and instead gave me the facts again.”

“Well the intent varied from the execution.”

“Well...Mr. Spaceman...before you get lost in a dream, you should feed up on cookies. And this thing.” I sat up and grabbed the bowl on the table. I was rummaging trying to find something good. “Ooo a chocolate bar.” I pulled out the bar. Then out of curiosity I turned it over to read the back. Unlike the old days they weren't made with “real coco,” instead this pathetic excuse. But I had been sad about my living conditions for too long. When Ever left, I would leave too. 

Ever came and sat on the couch again and sneaked a cookie while he said “So, Mr. Space man? Seriously? Anything better?”

“I am so sorry I am not the ‘professional namer’ in the town. That is just like way out of my league.” I gave him a smirke and he just rolled his eyes.

“I was thinking, when I go, I want to be remembered with a cool name. Like the ‘Space Dreamer.’”

“Space Dreamer?”

“What about the ‘Man Among the Stars?’”

“Come on. We should be better at this.”

“We should, but hey. Wouldn't it be great if I would be sitting here, watching my TV, ‘Hey, remember that random dude with the weird name that is floating through space’? I’ll jump up and scream ‘that's my man!’”

“Oh my yes!” We started laughing again. 

…

“Blast off in five.”

Goodbye. 

“Four.”

Please just please don't go.

“Three.”

Stay here.

“Two.”

You have too much to leave behind. 

“One.” 

NO!”

“Space Dreamer among the stars. I repeat among the stars”

I watched his rocket fly into the sky. The smoke filled the air. Tears streamed down my face and my body shook. Not only would he leave this world, he wouldn't see it. He would be trapped in the stasis pod as long as possible. Testing how long humans can last. He did it all to study. See if we can move to space and have a better future, but it's a painful path to get there. He spent his last hours with me. We laughed and cried. I was his last memory before nothing. I couldn't think of anything else besides Ever Doland. My amazing, handsome, caring, brave, and so much more husband. Too bad we couldn't get to see his true potential shine through. But I knew it was there. He was a dreamer after all. He could do anything. Even now he’s a space dreamer. 

…

“Ever?!...like Ever Doland, the Space dreamer?”

“Yes.”

“Really?!”

“Yes.”

“Do you realize you’ve been dreaming for over 100 years?!”

“Dreaming? I never dreamt anything. Didn't I cancel and live with my wife? We had kids and grew old together. She was my everything.”

“No. She is gone. She left when you did. You flew into space in a stasis pod. Right after you left, she disappeared. No one has seen her and she would be gone by now. I am so sorry.”

“You mean. It was all fake?”

“It was all a dream...sir...sir...SIR!”