She is right here

We both were on the bank of the river watching the sunrise. She looked so pretty under the scarlet sky. Her skin had a surreal glow. She closed her eyes eyes to feel the fresh air. This was the only place she wanted to go before her heart transplant.

"This place has some power, Meghan! Some kinda positivity. Everytime I come here I forget all the pain inside me" Chrissy said.

" Yes, Chrissy you're right" I said.

We are best friends since second grade with really no boundaries, I mean I can possibly tell you how many zits she had her whole life!!

We have always been together and I really hope that we will be together in future! 

Since a few months months, she had been feeling a bit dizzy and tired. The worst part came three months back, when she wasn't able to do breathe in the P.E. class after finishing her exercise and then she collapsed in the school ground. 

After tests and medical examination, we got to know that she suffering from "Coronary artery disease" which has made her heart walls and vessels very weak or I should say chronic. That's why she needs to get a heart transplant. But that can be only 75% effective. But it could help her live a little longer. But at that time for us something was better than nothing.

After the struggle of three months , finally she got a matching donor heart . The day I got know this news I danced around her hospital room like a crazy person.

Days passed like a waterfall , and the Big day came . Christine has been prepared by the nurses and doctors since a week. The syringes, medication, antiseptic smell everything was making me nervous trillion times more than her. And then I was wondered what will happen as the forceps , cuts and bleeding will happen. I haven't been to school since a week. Because I can't leave her anyhow. She is like a sister to me.

Finally when she was about to go to the OT. Doctors let only two of the family members meet her before the transplant . My eyes showed a sign of worry that I will not be able to meet her. Christine's father went to talk to the doctor about it and finally he came to me and said, "You should go with Christine's mother , at this time she needs you more than me."

My eyes were filled with tears as he said this to me. I said, " Thank you so much, uncle". And then hugged him.

I went towards her and looked at her, her half opened eyes recognised me and she held my hands. I was crying but tried to control my tears at my best. I said, "Chrissy! You have to come back healthy and strong. We have to dance on our annual function together. We promised each other. Okay! You can't leave your bff Meghan alone ...You can't do that...."

Christine's eyes filled with tears and she nodded. But couldn't say anything because of the oxygen mask. Her mother then kissed her forehead and hugged her. Then a nurse came to make us leave the OT. As I got out of the room I couldn't control my tears anymore. I cried a lot. Chrissy's mother hugged me and tried to make me calm but couldn't control her tears either.

"Will I ever see you again in your bubblish version?". The only question wriggled around my mind. The operation took about 11 hours. This struggle between life and death is inescapable. But if the struggle doesn't give you a fruit it breaks you down into thousands pieces. 

"Christine couldn't make it"

As the doctor said these words. I felt lifeless. As if my soul left my body. I was beyond devasted. My Chrissy is no more! My sister! Why God why? Why you took away her from me?

Christine's parents were sitting on the other bench shocked and shattered. Her mother was so weak that she couldn't even cry properly. Her father put his head on his laps and cried a lot. I went towards them and hugged them. Both of them held me tightly and soaked my t-shirt with their pain.

Then Chrissy's body on the bed came out of the OT. It was getting transferred for the paperwork. I nearly jumped to see her. Her eyes were closed. Her body was lifeless. I shouted like a million times, "Chrissy stop acting, I know this is your Oscar winning performance....you can't leave me like this.....get up Chrissy! Get up!" . Some of the nurses came and held me aside so that her bed can go forward. I struggled to get myself freed from those hands. I shouted but nothing could help she is gone. Gone Forever.

Now it's been three years since she passed away. And every evening I come near this river and read the paper that Chrissy wrote for me days before her operation. 

It says,

Hey Meghan, I know you will be reading this a billionth time since I died. Because if I am alive you probably wouldn't have seen this paper in your life. I just wanna say bestie that you are an angel!! You take care of me so much even more than my mother. This operation can never separate us in anyway. Because I am always with you sister. Even if I am a ghost! 

And if there is a hard time and you wanna talk so much about it just come to our favourite place near the river and sit right there. My soul would be there, wandering to listen to your shit talk everytime.

I love you Meghan. Always be like this in future.

Your bff

Chrissy

I can't say that I talk to Chrissy soul when I come right here. But I can say that, I feel calm. The air around this place has her scent. When I look in the river, the moon's reflection has her face engraved on it. It feels she is here with me.