Written confession

Nina, I'm sorry. I really am, but you have to see where I'm coming from. What else could I have done, after seeing that? I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. You deserved better than him. Even without... that, you deserved better. I could have been better for you than him. I would have been better. So, you see, he had to go. I had to get rid of him. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I love you, you know that, right? I've always loved you. Two little kids, running around on the playground, swearing to be friends forever. You love  me, but you never loved me in the ways that counted. That's okay. I just have to wait. All the love stories say to wait, and one day you'll reciprocate. That's how it works, right? We'll be hanging out, and I'll do something I've done a million times before but you'll realise you're in love with me, and it'll be perfect. It's okay. I can wait. I'm good at waiting. I've waited for that moment since before we spoke. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lashed out at you whenever you liked someone. I'm sorry we fought when you got your first boyfriend. But really, did you have to date a cop's son? That made it so much harder to threaten him. Still, it was worth it, getting to comfort you when he broke up with you that night. I especially found it funny when I caught him looking at you after, and he shook so hard he dropped his bottle. Yes, I did that. For you. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you didn't tell me when you first started dating him. Why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to find out watching the two of you through your window? How could you do this to me? And really, that was a bit of an over-reaction when you found out how I knew. Don't you see? I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I worry about you. You know that, right? You're all I think about. I worry someone will take advantage of you. I worry someone will hurt you. I won't let them hurt you. You're mine. You're mine, and anyone who's tried to take you away from me, well. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I tried to get him away from you, I really did. Everything I did just pushed you towards him. Couldn't you see he was bad news? Couldn't you see I was trying to help? I was only trying to help you. He was always going to hurt you, it was only a matter of time. And I was right, wasn't I? They all show their true colours eventually. You should be thanking me. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I scared you when I saw the bruises. I'm sorry you were in the room when I got out the knife. At least you left when I told you. I hope you didn't hear the screams, you've always hated people hurting. That's okay, I could do that for you. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. It was just so much fun, making him suffer for touching you. I cut off his hands, do you know that?

So he could never touch you again. Then I carved up his lips, and cut out his tongue, so he could never kiss you. I wanted to steal his skin, find every place he ever touched you with and keep it for myself. If only you hadn't called the police. I wasn't done with him. I meeded him to suffer even more. How dare you get in the way of that? I did it for you. It was all for you. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. He wasn't the only one. He was the last in a list that should have been a lot longer. You were never supposed to know. I never wanted to put that on you. It's kind of like Superman, no-one knows he's actually Clark Kent, but he's still looking out for Lois. Or something. I never read the comics. You never had to know I was looking out for you, as long as you were safe. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. They wouldn't tell me if he pulled through. I almost hope he did, so I can do it all again. I probably won't be getting out of here any time soon. It's okay though. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I probably won't ever get out of here, but if I do, wait for me. It's your fault I'm in here, after all. You dated him, so you made me kill him when he hurt you. Then you called the cops on me? How could you? I'd kill you, if I wouldn't have to kill myself after for hurting you. This is all your fault. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. I love you. I love you so much, I'll never get over you. I'd die before I got over you. Everything I did was for you. I would have done anything for you, except let you go. I couldn't let you go. I have everything you need, what else could you want? Tell me what you want, and I'll change. Anything you want me to be, I'll do it. I promise. Just wait for me. Don't leave me. You can't leave me, you can't protect yourself from people like him. Everything I have ever done was for you. Everyone I ever killed was all for you. I did what I had to do.

Nina, I'm sorry. The list is sewn into that stuffed rabbit you gave me. It has all the names, as well as why, and what I did with the bodies. I think you'll really like number three, I know I did. I did what I had to do

Nina, I'm sorry I got caught. I did what I had to do. I'd do it again.