The alarm clock was blasting a rock and roll classic from the seventies era, as I groaned and rolled over to silence the noise. My head was spinning and I was out of sorts. My friends had talked me into going out the night before to celebrate my birthday. Being a bartender, I should have known better. The downtown area had a strip of bars and nightclubs and we started at the first one on the block. We would buy a round of drinks and when they were gone, we would head to the next club or bar. I don’t remember much after the fourth bar. I jumped out of bed, ran to the closet and grabbed the only suit I owned. I shook it vigorously to try and get rid of the wrinkles and headed out the door. I got to the restaurant that I worked at and slipped into the bathroom before my boss could see that I was on the edge of being late again. I locked myself into a stall, hung my suit on the hook on the door and sat down to relieve myself. I took off my clothes as I was sitting there and grabbed my suit down off the hook.
The bathroom consisted of three stalls on one wall, the bathroom mirror on the opposite wall and two urinals on the wall opposite the door to encourage us to wash our hands on our way out of the bathroom. I heard the door open a few times as my coworkers came and went. I changed into my suit and ran my deodorant, that I keep in my suit pockets for emergencies, under my armpits and up and down my body to cover up the fact that I had not showered this morning. I pulled my electric razor out of another pocket and ran it across my stubble. It is not the first time I have found myself in this predicament, so I always keep my suit pockets filled with emergency toiletry items. I finished my business and opened the door to exit when I saw the creature. I quickly slammed the door again. There was a green-scaly creature in the mirror. It had looked straight at me. I was in full panic mode now. I listened with my ear pressed against the door. I heard the door open and shut and heard some men talking and urinating. The door opened and shut again and then there was silence. I could hear my heart beating. I could not hear any other noises from inside the small three stall bathroom. Maybe it had been my imagination. I did have a lot to drink last night. My banging headache was a testament to that overindulgence. I held my breath and stood up on the toilet so that I could see over the top of the stall. The bathroom was empty. Feeling foolish, I stepped down from the toilet and slowly opened the door.
I rub my eyes as I look in the mirror and realize that the creature I saw is me. I groan at the reflection. I was going to kill those so-called buddies of mine next time I see them. I rub my face and the green doesn’t go away, or the scales. I notice that my hands don’t look the same they look strange to me. I walk up to the sink and turn on the water grabbing some paper towels. I soak them and start scrubbing my face. I look up and there I am, green scales. It’s not coming off. They must’ve talked me into tattooing my face last night while I was plastered. Humiliated, I sit down on the floor. The bathroom door opens and a coworker walks in and takes one look at my face and flies back out the door. That’s just great. Now everybody will know. I put my head between my knees and brace myself for the onslaught of coworkers to rush in to see me.
The door slams open about thirty minutes later and a couple of people come in pushing a gurney. They grab me and strap me onto the gurney and push me out of the bathroom. My coworkers are gathered by the bathroom door, watching as they wheel me down the hall and to the ambulance waiting just outside the doors. The ambulance crew give me a shot of something and I black out.
Slowly, my eyes adjust to the room. I check all my extremities and they are all working in perfect order. I look around and see that I am in some kind of ward. There are about twenty beds and on each bed there is a green-scaled being lying there and looking around as I am now. The one in the bed closest to mine looks at me and said, “You were at Sally’s Bar last night. I remember seeing you there. We all were. Man that was a blast.”
“I don’t really remember last night.” I said, trying, desperately to remember the bar. We had gone to several and the last one I remembered was not Sally’s. I didn’t see anyone that I knew lying on those beds. A woman comes in and approaches my bed and she also is green-scaled. “Cramisky, you had us worried when you didn’t show up last night. When you showed up at that restaurant this morning, we knew something wasn’t right. We need to get you back to the place you slept last night and switch your memories back with the person you took over. We just can’t have that kind of behavior from our group.”
The crew from the ambulance came and whisked me away to the address they had found in a wallet in my pants pocket. They pulled a set of keys from another of my pockets and opened the door and wheeled me into the house and straight to the bedroom. On the bed was me, only I didn’t have the green scaly complexion.
They laid me beside me and gave me another shot. I felt myself slipping away. Hours later, I woke up to my alarm going off. I slap the clock and get up and go into the bathroom. I glance, apprehensively in the mirror, and I laugh. I am not green scaled anymore. It was all a dream. I finish my morning hygiene and return to my closet to grab my suit. It is gone. I look around my house and realize it is gone. I collapse onto the bed realizing it wasn’t a dream.
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2 comments
That is SO not where I thought this story would be going! Cool twist
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Thank you.
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