18th June 2015
I have finally named you, what do you think? I had never thought that I would name a diary, of all people.
Today, I was in a tumult. How dare anybody say such bad things about this house, my house? I would have never imagined that someone who had actually had said disgraceful things about my house would be staying here. Never, ever. I hate Gary more than ever now.
Oh, Gary! The downright scoundrel, the brat! What wouldn’t I do to give him a piece of my mind! He came to my house in the morning, wearing a blue T-shirt with a matching cap, and shorts. He had a suitcase in his hand, and I was really surprised to see him after so many years. He still bore the same boyish smile, but, according to me mischievous. He still had the same innocent look on his face, and he still seemed able to play practical jokes.
Oh do not think him to be my long-lost childhood friend, or some unfulfilled love. He was just my college mate, and we had been friends since. It had been two years since I last met him.
He came however. He said that he had come for a vacation in Brooklyn, and that he would go after spending two weeks here. I good naturedly offered him to stay with me in the house, and that brat, do you know what he said?
“This tumble-down old place? How come you live here, Laura? I thought you had a better taste for living. This place seems like a long forgotten mansion to me! Oh, it reminds me of all those ghosts and haunted houses and people killed….”
I received it all with a smile, as if to show good humour. However, I was boiling from within. I could have thrown him out right then, but why didn’t I? What stopped me?
He also commented about everything inside the house, the beautiful sunlit halls, the royal bathroom, the spacious bedrooms and the huge and comfortable art and craft room. All comments, which were nowhere near good, I received with good humour. How I would have liked to kick him out of the house!
Wait, why did I name you Gary? Shit, I would call you Diary from tomorrow. This Gary is getting on my nerves now…
How do you do? I came to Brooklyn today, as expected. I was walking towards Plum Creek, when I accidentally hit upon Laura. You already know her and I had talked a lot about her to you during my college days. She was so cute then, and she is now.
I could not imagine that she had chosen this mausoleum to spend her life in. Believe me, it is damp and dingy. I was actually scared when I saw it first. It was so huge! It was too big for a single person to live in. Personally, I think Laura too old fashioned. The living room, God! It was so dark and it was only lit by a small ray of light coming through the window. And the paint on the walls was a damp brown and I really feel that it needs brushing up. The bathroom is not very bad, but I still think that the bathroom is too big. That space could have been used to keep other useful things. Sheer wastage of space like that!
I have almost nothing to say about the bedrooms. They lack air and sunlight so much! I could as well suffocate. These rooms need dusting badly. I will ask Laura about it tomorrow. Really, she ought to have more sense in her.
Moreover, I always see shadows lurking here and there about the mansion. Maybe they are ghosts, or some supernatural identity that is haunting the house. How come Laura lives in such a haunted place, I do not know. Anyway, goodnight.
20th June 2015
See, I have stopped calling you Gary. I was literally mad to call my dearest friend with such a scandalous name!
I have almost stopped talking to Gary nowadays. I do not know, but whenever he comes in front of me, I feel very uneasy. Whenever he stares at me through his innocent looking eyes, I feel that the paintings on the walls also stare at me mockingly.
Yesterday I took Gary to the Manrule Spot at Brooklyn. It is a picnic spot, and I was sure that Gary would enjoy himself there. I myself have gone there many times, and I absolutely love it!
I do not know what has happened to me these days, but I like to think of Gary very much. I always stay near him, and I do not leave him if not necessary. Though I do not talk to him, I stay near him…. I do not know what madness has taken hold of me, but I love to stare at him endlessly. Although he is a scandalous fellow, a brute for calling my beloved house names, but still I like to stare at him.
Mind you, I do not let him know that I am near him. I look at him secretly. Only day before yesterday, when he first came, I was looking at him through the backside window, from which the stairs start.
He had switched all the lights off, and had lit a candle. The candlelight showed a strong figure, with curly black hair and a tall body. His backside was fair, and it looked so sensuous that I had a desperate urge to feel it with my own hands. He was shirtless and was probably reading a book. How did he look from the front? I went to the other window, and stared at him, although it was risky. His wide chest was broad, and his blue eyes glistened as he read a book. Suddenly he looked up towards the window, and I fled before he had a chance to say anything. Oh my, what is happening to me? I hate Gary, I hate him!
Yesterday Laura took me to Manrule Spot, which is a picnic spot. To be honest, I always see shadows lurking around me here and there. It is so scary. Even at Manrule Spot, when Laura left me, I again saw shadows roaming here and there.
Leave all that. I was talking about Manrule Spot. It was a wonderful place and I agreed with Laura that it was the best picnic spot that I had ever visited. There were green fields, with buttercups, wood sorrels and sunflowers strewn around it. The sweet fragrance of flowers reminded me of Laura’s sweet perfume, and sometimes I wondered if she really was there. I had packed sandwiches with me, and I started having them while enjoying the beauty of nature. The best part of Manrule Spot was the beautiful waterfalls. They were so cool and refreshing and when I saw them first, I had made up my mind that I would go for a swim. After eating the sandwiches, I tore open my shirt and plunged into the cold stream. It was lovely! The cold ripples somehow reminded me of Laura, with her smooth skin and her butternut complexion. She looked lovely, and somehow I felt that she would be my wife.
I confide everything in you, and I do not mind confiding this that, due to some attraction towards her, I have named you Laura. I do not know what attraction, but still….
While bathing in the stream, I suddenly felt that someone was staring at me continuously. I could not stay in the stream anymore. I got out, and dried myself. Then I put on my clothes.
During twilight, the brilliant blue of the waterfall contrasted perfectly with the red orange colour of the sky. The sky reminded me of the orange taffeta that Laura was wearing today. She was looking brilliant, absolutely wonderful. I quickly brushed the thought of Laura off my head. I always keep thinking of her as a person madly in love. And I knew that I was not in love. I did not even like Laura, but still I feel attracted to her, I feel softly for her. Should I admit this feeling to her? No, I won’t. I won’t!!!
21st June 2015
My hands are cold and numb, and I cannot hold the pen properly. What have I done? Oh what?
Today Mary came to the mansion. She is my girlfriend, but I really do not think her as my girlfriend. She is far too bossy for me, and I feel that we need to break up. But Mary, she thinks differently. I am sure she loves me, but…. Oh! I am such a hypocrite! I could not tell Laura about my true feelings for her and I could not tell Mary that I love another person. How can I admit to Laura that I love her?
Today, when Mary went to unpack her suitcase, I went secretly to the kitchen and found Laura in tears. She was making tea for all three, but at the same time her teardrops were falling down her cheeks. She was sad, but for what!? I could not understand. These three days seemed to have changed both our lives. Our beautifully arranged lifestyle had been turned upside down.
When Mary came, she admonished me that why did I not take her for the vacation too. She also told me that I would have to return tomorrow, for the office has called for an emergency meeting day after tomorrow and that it is very important.
I could not speak much. I only knew that I had to tell Laura about my feelings before I left Brooklyn.
This afternoon when Mary went for shopping and told me that I better stay at home, I decided that this was my time to talk to Laura.
Laura was in the living room, reading a newspaper. When she heard me entering, she took a handkerchief, wiped her eyes and then put down the newspaper.
“Laura, am I disturbing you?”
“Absolutely not.” She smiled. “Please say.”
“Laura, I…” I stopped. What was I doing? Proposing? Proposing a girl whom I hate, and who most probably hates me? This is not done at all.
“Laura, I will be going back tomorrow. Thank you for your hospitality.”
“Oh, won’t you please stay a few more days?” Laura asked.
“Oh, no. I have an important meeting day after tomorrow. I cannot stay.”
“Ok. Please tell me if you need anything. I will willingly give it to you. By the way, when are you leaving tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow morning at 8” , I said.
“Ok” she said and quietly returned to her newspaper.
I am still regretting it for not telling her that I love her. I am a hypocrite, a hypocrite!!
22nd June 2015
I watched all types of strange dreams yesterday. I have a yearning to feel Gary’s body with my hands, but…
I have a headache. A deep sense of desire, of jealousy and of sadness is pressing me down. Damn Gary! Why did I ever meet him? Why, oh why?
When Gary came to me this morning to say goodbye to me, I should have said,
“Don’t go Gary! Don’t go! Don’t you understand my feelings? Don’t you? How can you leave me? Why are you leaving me? Why? I love you! Don’t go! Don’t!”
Instead I said, “Please come again. It was a pleasure to have you as a guest.”
Gary was gone. He would never return. All because I was so stubborn.
Oh yes, I have decided to call you Gary, after all.