Rainbow-less

When I held her in my hands for the first time, the baby was blotchy-faced with dried tears streaking down her pinkish skin. But even then I knew she was beautiful, that she would grow up to be a fine young woman. I was right about the first part. The older she got, her beauty was never long behind. If only I were right on the second part; She never grew up to be a fine young woman. 

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Delilah's POV

"Aiko!" I yell. "You're going to be late for school!" I finish. 

"I know, mom. I was trying to find my rainbow make-up palette. Besides, I won't be late. I've never been late to school before." Aiko replied from upstairs. 

I was at the bottom stair steps, shaking my head slightly back and forth. Since Aiko had a perfect attendance record, I was planning to keep it that way. 

"Aiko, get downstairs right now. We don't want to splotch up your perfect attendance, now do we?" I say, heading upstairs towards her room.

 I knock on her door and wait patiently for Aiko to open it. A few seconds later, the door swings open. I look at my daughter up and down. The first thing I notice is her make-up. She has different colors stroking her eyelids vertically in a rainbow pattern. Matching her make-up, she's wearing rainbow heart earrings. As I slowly scan down, I notice she's wearing a hot pink tank-top that compliments her dark tan skin. She's also wearing a black skirt that gently swishes around her knees.

 "You've always had a thing for rainbows, haven't you?" I say, smiling. It's common knowledge within our neighborhood that Aiko from Ferns Street can't live without rainbows. Her 6th birthday party was themed on ponies, I and my husband even rented a pony for her. She insisted it be rainbow and because we couldn't find a rainbow pony, she threw a tantrum. All her friends and family left the party early, trying to avoid our family drama. 

"Duh, and don't even think about bringing up my 6th birthday. I'm 16 now, forgive and forget." She says, hands on her hips.

"Oh baby, I'll forgive but I'll never forget." I say, mischieve dancing in my eyes.

 "Anyway, I've got to catch the bus, don't want to be late for school." Aiko says. Even though she rolls her eyes I can tell she's not mad because of the laughter in them.

Aiko brushes past me. I hear her thump down the stairs then hear the front door slam.

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Aiko's POV

I swiftly brush past my mom and head downstairs. I open the front door then slam it shut behind me. I walk towards the bus stop, the bus is already there. It's about to leave until I crazily wave my hands. The bus driver stops and opens the door saying, "Don't be late, almost left without you. Next time I won't stop for you." Her southern accent is so thick, though, it sounds like she's saying "Don' be late, 'most left without ya, next time I won't stop for yer."

I blush as I hear murmurs and snickers. My friend Azalea waves me over to a seat by her, so I sit there.

"Hey, Aiko. Always with the rainbows." She embraces me in a warm hug. 

"Yeah, you know it's my thing." I say, hands up in defeat. 

"Mhm, and always will be." Azalea murmurs. Her eyes light up, probably from remembering my 6th birthday party. 

Seriously, though. Can't people stop talking about it? It happened 10 freaking years ago. I think somewhat bitterly. 

Azalea, being the ever so observant friend she is, looks at me with concern. "You alright?" 

I smirk, "Never better."

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As I slowly open my eyes, I find myself on the floor of the bus. Pain shoots in my left hip, my arms have a tingly feeling and my head feels like I'm floating. I notice a coppery taste in my mouth. Probably blood. Around me, I see broken pieces of glass and other students. Some students are also on the ground, others are hovering over forever still bodies. I'm on the ceiling, I know this because I faintly see the real floor under me. I wonder why, soon it dawns on me. The bus tipped over, we must've gotten in a car accident, or I guess a bus accident. 

Azalea is hovering above me, she looks worried but I can't tell for sure. Everything in my vision is so blurry. I can somewhat make out that she's saying something, her lips are moving but I don't hear a thing. Wait, am I dying, I panic.

 Slowly black dots dance around my vision, each dot growing by the second. Before I know it, I can't see. I get the sensation of falling into a black void. In the void is nothing but absolute darkness, I have no control over my legs and arms. If I did, I would be wailing, flailing my arms this way and that. 

I take a stuttering breath, my final breath, and close my eyes for the last time. 

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Delilah's POV

I hear the priest's voice slightly, he's probably talking about how great Aiko was and how her life impacted others. He's right, of course. Then again, I don't know what he's saying. His lips are moving but I'm too focused on my hands. A single tear slips from my eyes, then another, and another. 

Drip, drip, drip

Soon I'm crying a waterful, my ex-husband is beside me. I haven't seen him in 6 years after the divorce, but he came when he heard Aiko was dead. Aiko is dead, I repeat silently. For some reason, I half expect the doors of the church to swing open, Aiko dressed the same way she was before she died. She'd say brightly "Oh, you all thought I was dead? Guess what? I miraculously survived the bus accident." Then she'd smile so brightly it would light up the whole room and all of my heart. But as I look expectantly at the large oak doors, nothing barges in. Yet another fatal blow to my heart, a reminder that Aiko was indeed dead. 

After the sermon and burial, I walk home. Azalea was kind enough to walk with me too. Her house and mine aren't far from the church, plus I wanted to walk. Why? To help distract me, I suppose. 

As Azalea and I enter the house, I walk straight upstairs into Aiko's room, which is filled with different rainbow accessories. I walk around the room picking up and setting down different items. I pick up a rainbow pottery piece. I remember this one, Aiko made it undeviatingly after the divorce with my husband. One after another, memories flashed before my eyes. One was her in a school play, another swinging with Azalea, so many others flash before me. My eyes get hazy with tears. 

I hear a rustle behind me. I sharply turn around and fix my gaze on Azalea. Her eyes are cloudy and moist with tears, I see her arms dangling gently. I walk closer to her and pull her in an embrace. 

"It's okay, honey." I say gently in her ears, wiping tears off her face. 

She chokes down a laugh, "I should be comforting you, not the other way around." 

"You were her best friend since you were both toddlers, honestly, I see you as a second daughter."

"I..." She starts to sob quietly, soon she's a mess on Aiko's bed. Big fat tears sliding down her already moist cheeks. I sit next to her, rubbing her back gently, secretly wanting to cry my fat tears.

"I was there, in the accident. I should've done something and because of me, she's dead."

"It's not your fault, really nobody's at fault. Trust me if I could pin the blame of my daughter's death on someone, I could. I can tell you this, though, it would not have been you." 

"I guess." Azalea continues "I'm gonna head over back to my house, to get some alone time, I guess." She says slowly lifting herself off the bed. Azalea hugs me, then leaves the room.

I cry big ugly tears for a long time.

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Delilah's POV

I'm sipping tea as I look at a birthday picture. It dictates a little girl on a horse. Her eyes are red and angry, glaring at the camera as she's clenching her fists. Her cowgirl outfit is missing its hat. The picture is of 6-year-old Aiko during her 6th birthday party. I sigh. 

It's been 20 years since my precious Aiko died. Today was her birthday, she'd turn 36 this year. Azalea was at work, trying to pay the bills for her own family and children. She came last week to honor Aiko. She came a week earlier because she was going to be out of town today.

I set my tea down then head upstairs. I pull down the ladder that leads to the attic. As I switch on the light, I sneeze. So much dust is in here from years of negligence. I rummage through boxes until I finally find what I was looking for. A pair of rainbow heart earrings. I turn off the light in the attic and close the attic door. 

I clutch the little rainbow heart earrings to my body, to my chest, to my rainbow-less heart.