Chip's Bad Interview

Chip Murray sat in front of his mirror, looking at the lines on his reflection’s face, and sighed. He was not looking forward to this morning. What lay ahead of him was everything he hated about working in television. A tap, quiet but confident, on the other side of his dressing room door, wrenched his attention away from his aging face. “Yeah,” he said, turning away from his vanity.

The door opened a crack and a head appeared behind it, wearing a headset. It was one of the studio P.A.s, and Chip scolded himself for not remembering their name. The P.A. said, “They’re ready for you on Stage 2, Mr. Murray.”

“Thanks,” Chip almost added “Jordan,” but didn’t want to risk being wrong. “I’ll be right there,” he said, and reached up to turn off the makeup lights around his mirror. The P.A. whose name might have been Jordan- or, now that Chip thought about it, maybe it was Kit- nodded and then their eyes moved up toward the ceiling, unfocused. Chip realized they were listening to a voice on their headset. They nodded again, half waving to Chip and stepped out of the doorway, pressing a button on the radio attached to their belt. “He’s on his way. I’m headed to lot 4,” they said.

Standing up, Chip glanced at his reflection one more time and then pulled his shirt down, straightening a wrinkle. He felt a pang of regret at promising himself he’d never drink at work. If there was ever a time he could use a shot or two to even out…

The “they” who were ready for him on Stage 2 referred to a film crew from some online entertainment channel there to interview him about the new show. He knew it was going to be easy, soft-ball questions like “Is it just great to be back at the same studio where everything started for you?” but even still, he hated interviews. He wasn’t an actor because he liked talking about himself.

As he walked along the backside of the set on stage two, he looked around the interior of the soundstage building. It was kinda nice being back, he realized. Thirty years ago, he’d played Josie Sweets, the youngest daughter on the moderately popular sitcom “Home Sweets Home.” Technically this wasn’t the same stage where they’d filmed “Home…” but the new show was produced by the same studio, for the same network, and he was working on the same lot he’d been on as a kid. And he was pretty sure all the soundstages on this lot were the same basic design anyway.

He remembered it all being much bigger, but then again, that was a long time ago. After “Home Sweets Home” was cancelled by the network, Chip had been in a slew of straight-to-video movies that ranged from terrible to atrocious and what remained of a career was pretty much gone. After a long, ugly legal battle to become emancipated from his parents – who still got to keep most of the sitcom money- Chip’s teen years had involved a lot of alcohol, a tremendous amount of self-discovery, and more than a few mistakes.

In his twenties, he’d started hanging around film students and had gotten some- not exactly lucrative- work acting in indie movies and thesis projects. He’d met people he connected with and felt like he was finally part of a community. Soon, he’d become an advocate for his community online as well as in local politics. An independent film titled “Transatlantic” which he’d partially helped to produce and in which he’d played the lead role had swept the festivals, and with it had come offers to return to the light of mainstream entertainment.

So now here he was, getting another shot at the mainstream. He rounded the flats that made up the “Command Center” and saw the film crew set up and waiting for him. The cast and crew of Chip’s show all had the day off, so the producers had agreed to allow this interview to take place on the set. It was the easiest place to light, and showing off one of the show’s primary locations would help drum up excitement for potential viewers.

A blonde woman who looked vaguely familiar strode up to Chip, extending her hand. “Mr. Murray, it’s truly my pleasure to meet you,” she said, “I’m Brooke. I spoke to your agent over the phone.” This was the interviewer, then. Chip couldn’t decide if he’d seen her in something or if he just thought she looked like every other entertainment “news” host. He took her hand and shook it in a way that he hoped came off as professional but casual.

“Nice to meet you, Brooke. And you can call me Chip.” He smiled politely and followed her onto the stage. Two folding chairs were set up, one for each of them, and he sat down on the one Brooke gestured to. It was a typical three camera set up, one on him, one on her, and a third, wide angle, getting both of them. Operators stood behind each camera, checking focus and position. Brooke sat in the other chair and crossed her legs.

“I want to thank you for agreeing to do this interview. It’s an honor. I’ve been a big fan of yours since I was a little girl,” she said as she looked over notes on her phone.

“Oh it’s my pleasure,” Chip lied, “Just excited to talk about this show.”

A grip walked up to Chip holding a small microphone attached to a transmitter. “This is Cal,” Brooke didn’t look up from her phone but gestured toward the grip, “He’ll get you fitted with a mic.”

           “Hi,” Chip said to Cal, who nodded and began pinning the mic to Chip’s lapel and hiding the wire in the folds of his shirt. Chip sat as still as he could, pretending it wasn’t awkward to have a stranger touching all over his chest. When Cal was done, he walked away and Brooke finally looked up from her notes, making eye contact with Chip.

She said, “Okay, we’ll get started in just a sec, here. The piece isn’t going to be posted until tonight, so there’s plenty of time to edit it down, so, you know, feel free to take your time, start a sentence over if you need to, anything you need.

“Great,” he replied.

“I’ve got some questions planned. I’m going to ask about the new show, about all the changes in your life since ‘Home Sweets Home,’ about how you feel TV’s changed since you were a kid, but is there anything you want to be sure we do or don’t hit on?” Brooke said, smiling all the while.

“Yeah,” Chip adjusted his position in the chair, “I’ve spoken a lot publicly about my transition, and I honestly don’t have anything to say about that, so I’d really love to just keep this interview focused on the new show if that’s all right.”

           “Absolutely,” Brooke said, but she was looking at her phone again, and Chip wondered if she had actually been listening to him, “Absolutely. No problem.”

Another woman stood behind the center camera holding a clipboard. Presumably, she was the producer. She nodded to Brooke. “Okay,” Brooke said, “Here we go,” and the producer stepped in view of all three cameras. After each camera operator said “Rolling,” she clapped her hands once and stepped behind the center camera again.

A notable shift in Brooke’s posture and energy told Chip the interview had begun. Brooke looked into her camera and spoke, with perfect enunciation. “I’m here today on the set of the new prime-time comedy “Second Chances” with one of the stars of the show. You’ll remember this actor as little Josie from “Home Sweets Home,” but now he’s back and excited to tell us about his new project! Of course, I’m talking to Chip Murray! Thanks for being here, Chip.”

Chip took a long, slow breath and realized he was clenching his jaw. Something in the way Brooke had emphasized the pronouns felt passively condescending. “Hi,” he said, forcing himself to smile, “My pleasure.”

“So,” Brooke leaned forward in her chair, the very picture of feigned interest, “Tell me about ‘Second Chances’.”

Chip did his best to recite from the press release blurbs marketing had written up about the show, “Well, it’s all about a- an organization, let’s say, who pull people out of different moments throughout history who are about to make a really important or, like, life-changing decision, gives them a chance to change the decision they make. So it is a comedy, but it’s got a lot of sci-fi elements in it as well.”

“Wow!” Brooke was remarkably good at pretending to be impressed, “How does that work exactly?”

           Chip said, “So, we’re here in the “Command Center” which is where my character and the other members of the organization choose who to help. We watch, on all these screens you can see around us, people who are unhappy to who have gone down a bad path in their lives and then we push that big red button on the counter over there, and it teleports that person to us, out of their own timeline at the exact moment they made the decision which sent them down their current path in life.”

           Brooke leaned back and put her hands up, “A little over my head, I’m no sci-fi expert, but it sounds complicated.”

Chip had been briefed on exactly which storylines from the show he could spoil and which were on lockdown, “For example, in the first episode, we see a woman who is the CEO of a major corporation but who as a kid always wanted to be a painter. So, we teleport her from the exact moment in her life when she decided to major in business rather than going to a performing arts conservatory. And we show her the projected future and then put her back into the same second she left so she can make the decision. So, it’s not just about giving people 2^nd chances, it’s also giving people a chance to change their lives in a single second. So, the title kind of has a double meaning.”

           “Incredible,” Brooke said, shaking her head slightly, “Just so imaginative. So, let me ask you, as a trans man-”

Are you kidding me?? Chip thought, How does my gender identity have ANYTHING to do with this show??

Brooke continued, “do you feel that this project spoke to you because you’re particularly able to appreciate the importance of life-altering decisions and truly becoming who you are?”

Chip wanted to shout, “I said let’s focus on the show! I’m TIRED of being the trans poster boy for you people!!” but instead smiled as genuinely as he could force himself to and said, “You know, my character isn’t written to be a trans man, he’s just a man. And I think it’s a sign of how far our culture has come that we can have trans actors playing cis characters and characters who aren’t defined by their gender identities. Not to say that we don’t still have a long way to go, but it means a lot that we can now have trans actors and celebrities who are known for their work and not for being trans.”

Yes, he thought, I side-stepped your question. No. I will not be answering anything else about my gender, so drop it.

Brooke seemed to get the hint and pivoted to a new topic. “Now, you’re no stranger to the limelight of primetime TV, as we all remember from ‘Home Sweets Home,’ do you have any comment on the recent allegations of sexual misconduct that have come out against your co-star on that show, Danny Cochrin?”

Jesus, Danny Cochrin got me too-ed? “Umm…” Chip began, “I haven’t heard any-”

Brooke’s face turned serious and sober with exactly as much genuinity as she’s had earlier, pretending to think his show was interesting, “Several women have come forward in the last several days. Including the actress who played your older sister, Amanda White.”

Chip closed his eyes a moment and collected his words. “I don’t know anything about sexual misconduct that may or may not have occurred on the set of ‘Home...’ I worked on that show from the time I was two until I was eight years old, so everything that went on, I was pretty well sheltered from by my parents and by the on-set child handlers.

“But Danny Cochrin played your character’s father on the show. You must have a pretty intimate relationship with him.”

“Again, I was basically a baby when the show started, and that was over thirty years ago.” I didn’t have-”

“Would you say that Mr. Cochrin’s behavior on set could have possibly affected you in a negative way that may have led to some of your issues as a teenager?”

“My issues as a- what?” Chip was no longer smiling, “What is this interview about?”

“Did Danny Cochrin ever make any sexual advances toward you as a young girl?” Brooke was no longer smiling either, but had an infuriatingly fake look of empathy and care on her face.

“I thought this was supposed to be a puff piece about “Second Chances” to promote the new show. What the fuck is going on?”  Chip should have scolded himself for swearing, but he honestly didn’t care.

“TVgossipjunkee.com is interested in hard hitting, real news from the entertainment world, Mr. Murray. We’re trying to bring the truth to light,” Brooke said, leaning back in her chair with a smug grin on her face. “If you don’t have any comment on the accusations toward Mr. Cochrin, you can just say so.”

Chip was done, “I did say so. And I asked you to leave my gender identity out of this interview. But since what you’re looking for is a sound bite you can chop up and use as click bait, here it is- I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Danny Cochrin did all sorts of terrible shit on set, because he was an asshole! This whole industry is full of assholes who get a little bit of power and think they can do whatever they want to whomever they want. And you know why they think that? Because we let them. There’s your quote. This interview is over.

Chip ripped the microphone off his shirt and dropped it on the chair. I’m gonna get a real earful from my agent after this one, he thought, as he stormed off the set, but screw it. Now I’m going home and having a drink.