Forever

Forever. They told me they were forever. They told me we’d be okay. They told me no one would die. They lied. People died. Lots of people died. Everyone died. Everyone except for me. I am that one unlucky person.

It has been two years since that dreadful day. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. I now live in the ruins of our world and am sure that I am the only person left. My days are lonely and spent focusing on trying to stay alive. I don’t know why I do it. Why not just let myself die? For some reason, it feels wrong, so I choose to live.

I turn to my one friend, my one true reminder of my past. He is soft and has two button eyes. His skin is blue and purple and he’s a stuffed animal monkey. Mom made him for me. I named him Amar, which means “forever.” Because no matter what happens, he can’t die; he is forever.

When setting up camp for the night, I suddenly get a very intense feeling that I need to move camp somewhere else. I don’t know where it comes from, but I have learned to follow strong feelings such as these. I pick up Amar and put him in the pouch on my belt. I then pack up my tent and start walking. I have a feeling that I need to go to the woods. The woods are tall and dark. The trees whisper to each other and the bushes beckon me in. It used to scare me, but not anymore. I’m used to it now. If anything, it feels like the closest thing to home now. There are no longer animals that will hurt me. They’re all gone now. I continue moving through the soft grass. I like how it tickles my legs. I haven’t laughed for a long time, but I laugh.

I decide to put down my blanket and go to sleep under the stars. As I am lying down, I observe the sky. I think it would be nice to be a star — to know that everything was forever. I wonder if the stars ever look down on us, and wish that something would change. I guess that forever has its flaws, too.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of birds singing. I smile. I love the birds. They make such a beautiful sound. I had a bird once. I called it Melody. We sang together every morning. I don’t know why I remember that, but I do. I pick up my bags and continue moving. Suddenly, I think I hear a rustle and the sound of footsteps. No, that’s impossible. I haven’t seen another living creature larger than a bird for two years. Nothing that could make this kind of noise. I must be imagining it. Then, after a few moments, I hear the sound again. I whip my head around.

What I see makes me scream. I stumble back with wide eyes and cover my mouth. I don’t know how it is possible. I see a boy.

“No way,” he whispers in disbelief. I look into his eyes, which were a pale blue, and see that we are equally terrified. He must have thought he was alone, too. “Are you real?” he asks with a nervous quiver in his voice. I nod slowly. “I can’t believe it!” he exclaims, pacing back and forth. “I was always determined to find someone else, then as soon as I give up, I actually find someone. This is amazing!”

I understand how he feels. Except for the “finding someone” part. I had accepted I was alone since the beginning. I start getting excited. I realize that after today, I will not be alone anymore. After a few moments of silence, I realize he is waiting for me to speak.

“Yeah,” I say, slowly. I haven’t spoken aloud for a long time. The word feels heavy on my tongue. I used to speak, at the beginning of my solitary life. I used to narrate everything I did to myself. It had given me a sense that I wasn’t completely alone. Then slowly, I began speaking less and less, until I never spoke at all. “I’m glad though,” I say to him. “I’m glad that we found each other.”

He nods. “I’m Jacob,” he says. “What’s your name?” The question surprises me. I have not thought about my name for a long time.

“Hazel,” I say hesitantly.

“Hazel,” he repeats. I smile. I feel a strange sense of happiness, hope, and relief to hear someone else say my name again. Jacob smiles because, well… because he’s happy. I think I am happy, too. Happy is a funny feeling. I haven’t felt it for a long time, but I like feeling it again.

Jacob tells me about what he’s been doing for the past two years since the Attack. I think he’s been trying to live more than I have. He tells me about an entire house that he built, whereas I describe my rather nomadic life. He was in search of more food when he found me.

As we talk, we set up traps for catching small animals. We exchange tricks of the trade we have learned over the past two years. My small, thin, fingers are much better for making the traps than Jacob’s large ones. We end up catching one squirrel and one rabbit. I have always hated skinning them, so Jacob offers to skin them while I go out and look for fruit. When I come back with a handful of blueberries, the animals are almost ready to eat. Jacob lets me have some delicious fruit from his backpack that he calls strueselberries. We end up saving the squirrel for later and eating the rabbit for lunch. I never like eating squirrels. They are too chewy for my liking.

Jacob is a nice person. He’s considerate and full of energy. I like it when he tells me stories about the past, from before everyone died. He’s older than I, so he remembers more things from history. When he talks, his voice is full of energy and excitement. He seems as though he didn’t lose his happy like I did. Maybe one day, he can help me find my happy again.

“Do you think there are other people out there?” I ask him as we set up camp for the night. I have been thinking about this ever since we met that morning. He had been only ten miles from me the whole time, so who else could be out there? I am starting to think that it is possible that there are more people like us. We might not be as alone as we thought

“Yeah,” he says, contemplating the question. “There probably are other people out there. Maybe one day we could go on a mission to find them.” I look up in surprise.

“You mean you're staying with me?” I ask him. I have been assuming that he would, but it is different hearing him say it out loud.

“Do you not want me to?” he asks nervously.

“No, I’d love it if you stayed.”

I haven’t felt this much peace, hope, and happy in a long time. I hope that I can feel this way forever.