“That was our exit.” Abby watched the sign zoom by, and stopped wiping sweat from her neck to turn to her sister.
“No,” Jade said, foot still heavy on the accelerator, “it’s the next one.” She was leaning forward to try to dry the sweat on her back.
“No,” Abby said turning her phone to show the proof, “it was THAT one. Honestly, why do you have me navigate if you’re not going to listen?”
“As your older sister, I’m trying to help you make the correct decisions.”
“Listening to GPS isn’t? This is literally a map telling me specifically where to go. A tiny British woman says, “In two hundred feet, turn left.’ If you don’t believe me, at least believe her.”
“I question her motives. We could end up going in circles in an empty parking lot as she declares, ‘You’ve arrived at your destination.’”
“That happened once.”
“If we need to, we’ll get back on the interstate,” Jade said as she slowed for the approaching ramp.
The hot breeze forced into the car from the open windows wasn’t cooling them. There was no shade anywhere—only bleakness as far as the eye could see. No houses, businesses, or even crossroads.
“I’m not too proud to admit I was wrong,” Jade said.
Abby snorted. “Yes you are.”
“Perhaps normally, but I sweated my pride out hours ago.”
“Did we miss the turn to get back on the interstate?” Abby asked, eyes glued to the landscape.
Jade shook her head. “What does our little British lady say?”
“You offended her. She’s gone quiet.” Abby said and tapped the screen. “Our car is not even moving on the map. It’s just sitting in the same spot. We must’ve lost signal.”
“Try restarting your phone while I turn around.”
“Wait! There’s something up ahead.” Abby pointed to a dot on the horizon.
“That’s a bug on the windshield.”
“Then why is it getting bigger the closer we get?”
Any hope felt from the approaching building dissipated as they got closer. The sign on the dull brick building was sun-faded, but the words ‘Norma’s Diner’ could be made out still. The door and windows had a thick layer of dust, so seeing inside was difficult. Out front sat a single fuel pump, once bright blue faded and rusty from blowing sand and beating sun. A lone pickup sat beside the building, its rusted body sagging where it had given up.
“I don’t think it’s open,” Abby said.
“Well, there might be a working phone inside and maybe some water. We need to get out of this heat and let the car cool off.”
Abby looked around. “How? There’s no shade. We can’t be too long—the tires will melt in place.”
They walked to the front door. “There is no way this building is big enough for a diner,” Abby said.
“Maybe there is only one booth. It can’t be a busy place.” Jade gestured with her hands at the surrounding void around them. “We haven’t seen another car for hours.”
“I think I saw movement inside,” Abby said, trying to look through the years of buildup.
“How’d they get here?” Jade asked. “That truck doesn’t look like it’s taken anyone anywhere since before we were born.”
“It’s probably a rat,” Abby said and tugged on the door. It gave with a loud CREEEEAK. They looked at each other.
“After you,” Abby said
“You first. The rat will go for you and I can escape.”
A blast of frigid air caused their skin to get goosebumps. Sock-hop music and the smell of burgers and fries wafted through the air. Three bright red booths were seated next to the front windows. White Formica-topped tables and matching counter top shown brightly polished in the overhead lighting.
It looked as if someone had gotten up from the table and walked away, their empty plates and half drink coffee cups abandoned.”
The girls looked at each other, unsure of what to make of this. From the kitchen emerged a woman with gray hair and laugh lines. Her horned glasses were attached to her neck with a beaded cord over her crisp dress uniform. The name on the tag said Norma.
“Sit where you’d like; I’ll get you a couple of menus.”
“Actually,” Jade said. “We’re looking to get back on the interstate. Did we miss the turn?”
Norma smiled. “No, honey, it’s just a little farther up the road. But why don’t you two sit a spell? It sure is a hot one today.”
Abby looked at Jade and shrugged. “Its does feel pretty good in here.”
“OK,” Jade said. “Could we please have a couple of waters?”
“How about some sweet tea? It’ll perk you right up.” She didn’t wait for a reply; she turned and filled two glasses.
“Thank you,” Abby said, and didn’t wait for the straw to hit the counter to start chugging her beverage.
“Slow down,” Jade said, “you’ll get a brain freeze.” She plunged her straw into her own drink and forced herself to follow her own advice. “Could I please use your restroom?”
Norma tossed a thumb towards a bright red door.
When Jade opened the bathroom door, the air changed. She stopped short when she saw the bathroom condition. The once white sink sat chipped and stained with dark brown blotches and splats. The dented paper towel dispenser was hanging by one corner and swayed slightly when the door had opened. The toilet bowl, no longer white, held what Jade hoped was rusty water. The toilet seat sat cock-eyed and stained with dark urine and spots of feces.
She covered her mouth to stifle the gag. She turned on the water, but all that came out was a groan from the pipes.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She looked around, feeling as if being watched, and slowly scanned the room. She turned to leave, when movement caught her eye. She stepped closer to the hole in the wall. Standing still, staring at the hole, she jumped back when an eye filled the space and looked at her. She bolted from the room.
Shortly after Abby chugged her glass of iced tea, Norma placed a new one in front of her. Having her thirst satisfied, she took the time to place her straw in and sip this one.
She looked towards the bathroom for Jade to return, and noticed the letters on the door began to blur. On the bar stool, she began swaying and reached for the counter, but missed. The fall to the floor felt slow and long.
As soon as her skin touched the linoleum, the air changed. Lights flickered and gone were the red and white brightness, replaced with torn booths and lopsided tables. Cockroaches scurried across surfaces and radio static cut in and out.
“Oh dear,” Norma said, leaning over her. “It appears the heat has gotten to you.” Her once pristine uniform was now dingy and dirty, and her face was sunken and gray.
“Get…away,” Abby wasn’t sure if the words actually came out. As she drifted away, she heard Norma say, “Elliott, dear…”
Where was Jade?
Jade ran out of the bathroom to see the rest of the diner now matched the bathroom. Everything was gross and dull. Norma, who looked like she’d become diseased since Jade had left the room, looked up at her with a grin that seemed too big for her face. She looked at Jade, then past her.
Jade turned around to find a tall and hunched man, wearing a sweat-stained t-shirt under a greasy apron. Both more yellow than white, and both too small to hold what had to be three-hundred pounds of excess. His grin showed off large square teeth with equally large spaces between them.
His look was vacant, yet yearning. Her heart stopped. She turned to run to her sister, who was lying on the floor. Time seemed to have stopped, and she felt like she was running in a dream; her body wouldn’t do what she needed it to.
She felt the behemoth man’s arm go around her waist and pull her to him. She could feel his erection grind into her backside. “Let me go!” she screamed. “Abby! Wake up!”
Abby didn’t move. Jade kicked and flailed her arms, but the man’s grip was like a vice. Her feet left the ground as he swung her around, then she heard ringing as her head made contact with the counter. Everything spun as she tried to ignore the nausea and sharp pain interfering with her fight.
She felt herself being carried, then falling to the floor. But instead of the hard landing she was expecting, she felt softness.
He walked out of the small room he’d taken her to, and she jumped off the mattress. She made it to the door, but he returned carrying her sister and blocked her path.
Jade backed up and fell back onto the mattress when her feet bumped it. He threw Abby down next to her.
“What do you want?!” Jade screamed at him, but she knew by the way he was looking at her what he wanted.
“Please,” she said, trying not to sob. “Please…let us go.”
“I’m afraid not,” Norma said from the doorway. “This is Elliott. He’s my sweet boy. My reason for living. He came out…wrong. That was the word the doctor used. Says he went too long without oxygen.”
She walked over to her son and stroked his face. “He’s always been slow, but he’s my boy. He can’t help it. I couldn’t send them to school. Kids can be so mean. Things got tough, my income alone raising my boy. But I made it. We did what was necessary to survive. I gave him everything I could.”
Her hand dropped and so did her loving smile. She turned to Jade. “Well…not everything. Unfortunately, I can’t give him everything he needs. What he…desires.”
When Elliott smiled, a trickle of drool slipped down his chin. Jade swallowed bile. She looked at her sister, who was still passed out on the mattress, then back to Norma. Her stomach couldn’t handle looking at Elliott again. “What happens if we refuse?”
“Oh, there is no refusal. Elliott here is big and strong. You don’t stand a chance.”
Jade’s bottom lip trembled. “And after he’s…done?”
Norma smiled. “Well, now, I’m not sure you understand. See, it’s not very often people come by here. You girls took the wrong exit.”
Jade looked at Abby again. “Since…since she’s passed out still, can you…er…he…take her first? That way she wont know.”
Norma smiled. “Well, now, isn’t that sweet of you. We wont tell her it was your idea.” Norma winked, then turned to leave.
“A-and…” Jade said and Norma turned back around. “Can I leave the room? I don’t want to be here to watch.”
Norma cocked an eyebrow.
“And I don’t want her in here when…when it’s my turn.” Jade raised her chin.
Norma nodded. “Come on, then.”
Jade followed the old woman out of the room, turning back one more time to see Elliott leaning over Abby. “I’m sorry,” Jade whispered.
Norma waved a hand. “She’ll be asleep. For most of it, anyw-”
She didn’t finish her sentence because Jade picked up a plate from the counter and broke it over Norma’s head.
Norma cried out and Jade picked up another one, doing the same thing again. Norma turned to stop her, but Jade still had a piece of broken plate in her hand and she jammed it into the old woman’s throat. Blood squirted all over Jade’s face and she tried to block out the gurgling sound the old woman made.
“Elliott!” Jade shouted.
He came rushing from the back room, and Jade held the his mother in front of her with the ceramic sliver to her throat.
“I’ll kill her. Do you want that?”
Elliott shook his head, frantically looking from Jade to Norma.
“Kill…her…” Norma managed to tell Elliott. He nodded and took a step towards them. Jade dropped Norma and took off into the kitchen. She hid behind the door, taking the cast iron skillet off the stove and raising it above her head.
Her arms started to shake and she thought she might drop it on her own head while she waited. But he never came. When she heard nothing, she peeked out the window in the door.
Elliott came out of the back room, pulling Abby by the hair. She was still passed out and Jade was actually thankful Abby had downed the whole glass. Although, it would have been nice to have help.
Jade went back to Norma, who was holding her throat, but somehow still alive.
“Let her go,” she said, holding the skillet over the old waitress. “Let her go and let us leave, and I’ll let your mom live.”
Again, he looked to his mom, who by now had passed out. He looked back to Jade, as if for help.
“She’s still alive. I’ll even send for an ambulance when we get back to service. But you have to let us go.
He dropped Abby’s hair.
“Put her in my car,” she said, not sure he’d comply. But after another glance at his mother’s lifeless body, he did.
She tried to follow Elliott outside, but she was stopped by a hard yank to the scalp.
“You BITCH!” Norma said, voice gasping and wet in Jade’s ear.
Jade shoved backwards as fast as she could, sending both of them into the counter. A sickening crunch echoed as Norma’s back took the brunt of the impact. Jade scrambled for footing as she tried to get loose from Norma’s grasp. Blood and glass made the floor slippery, but Norma’s hold had loosened enough to get away. She reached for another piece of broken plate and turned to Elliott.
He’d dropped Abby to help his mom, but stopped when Jade put the makeshift knife to his mom’s throat again. “I’ll do it, Elliott.”
His shoulders slumped and he picked up Abby again. Once her sister was in the back seat, Jade got in, locked the doors, and peeled away.
She headed back to the interstate.
Abby began to stir, then wretched on the floor. “What the hell…” she mumbled. “Did we go to a bar?”
“Hold tight,” Jade said. “I’m not stopping until we hit civilization.”
Abby passed out again.
They got back onto the interstate, and never had Jade been so excited to be surrounded by traffic. She let the hum of the other vehicles soothe her, and she pulled off the road to use her phone to call for help.
NO SERVICE was still at the top of her screen. She frowned. She looked in the mirror and saw Abby was sitting up looking at her. At first, she couldn’t make out what she was saying. Then, it became clear. “WAKE UP!”
“What?” Jade said.
“Wake up, Jade!”
Jade blinked back the bright light that made her head pound worse. Abby was naked on the mattress next to her, hands bound above her head. Her face was wet with dirt, blood, and tears.
“Wha…wha…” Jade stammered. She realized she was also tied, unable to move. She turned to Abby. “What happened?”
“We were drugged. I woke up to him…on top of me.” More tears streamed down. “They told me you were dead! That you’d hit your head on the counter! But then I heard you moaning. Jade, we’ve got to get out of here!”
Jade tried to move, but her limbs tingled painfully from them falling asleep. She frantically tried to move, but was unable. Elliott watched from the doorway, smiling at her. The panic rose in her chest. “No,” she said. “Nooo!”
Elliott stepped closer.
“We got away,” she said, screaming as he climbed on top of her. “You let us go!" A dollop of drool slowly fell out of his mouth and onto her cheek. "No! She screamed.
“Afraid not,” Norma said from the doorway, her throat fully in-tact. She turned and walked away, smiling as Jade's screams faded as she did.
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4 comments
Hello from the Critique Circle. First off, your story deserves more than 3 likes and no comments. I thought it flowed well and definitely kept my attention. Whether you planned it or not, I was thinking that the escape with nothing but broken plates was getting a bit too easy, but when it became nothing more than an unconscious wish, well, those can certainly be made easy. A couple places where a sentence didn't read just right, but a good story nonetheless. I will have to try to read some of your others.
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Thank you so very much! This might be a huge ask, but could you please tell me which didn't read right? It's OK if you cannot. I like to know these things because I know what's in my head, but I want to convey it clearly. Thanks again!
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Most are maybe just grammar, or a missing word or comma, or could just be me being picky, but here goes. Here is what I saw from a quick reread: Lights flickered and gone were the red and white brightness, replaced with torn booths and lopsided tables. (doesn't read right) Both more yellow than white, and both too small to hold what had to be three-hundred pounds of excess. ('Both were more' makes it read better; again, maybe just me being picky) I couldn’t send them to school. (assume you meant him) She turned and walked away, smiling a...
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Thank you for the feedback! It's so helpful and I appreciate your time.
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