The Ballad of Janet, a retelling of the Ballad of Tam Lin

(sensitive content warning: violence and sexual coercion)

At least the trees had stopped gossiping about him. But the brooks were more than happy to take up the task. They cackled away, gushing over water-polished stones and whispering under fallen logs. Laughing at him. Mocking him.

We know why you are here.

Tam breathed out and leaned his head against the mossy boulder marking the edge of Carterhaugh Woods. Rosebushes surrounded it, the only things with any color as far as the eye could see. The only things that felt alive.

Another lie, of course.

The sunlight was just out of reach, forced to remain a few steps away by the ancient canopy of trees. They stood like learning guards breathing down his neck.

He'd forgotten the last time he'd felt the sun's rays on his skin. Warmth was a distant memory. Now only shadow whitened his skin and darkened his sight.

And always, always he felt Her eyes.

Tam shuddered and tried to ignore the ever-present prickle at the back of his neck. The creek kept cackling. The forest kept watching. He wished he could lay down and decay with the dead autumn leaves.

And then he saw her.

Tam shrunk in on himself even though it was impossible for the woman to see him hidden by glamour as he was. She strode up the fading path towards the forest, a determined line between her brows, dark red cloak fluttering behind her.

Please don't come closer. Tam prayed to all the gods he could think of to stop her. Don't come closer. Please don't make me do this.

But like all his other pleas, the gods ignored him.

The woman marched to the edge of the forest and stared at the treeline as if its existence mildly annoyed her.

She sighed, squared her shoulders, and grabbed a rose. The stem breaking made an audible snap.

Tam felt like someone dragged an icy blade up his spine. He closed his eyes and shuddered.

The woman started in surprise as the rose withered to ash in her hand. And then her gaze latched on him, his glamour stripped away like the roses's life.

Oddly enough, he didn't seem to surprise her.

"Ah, so that's how this works," she said, dusting off her hands on her green kirtle.

Tam stared at her. "...what?"

"You're the fairy knight, aye?" the woman demanded.

Tam rose to his feet, back still pressed against the boulder. "Um... how-"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Ach, It doesn't matter. Ya appeared out of thin air, so it must be ya." She fixed him with a needle-sharp glare. "Well, get on with it."

"Get on with what? I-"

She sighed again. "Taking my maidenhood. Isn't that how this works?"

Tam flinched back. "Yes but..." he cleared his throat. He hadn't spoken in days, weeks even. His voice came out drier than last year's leaves. "Nobody has ever acted about it like this before."

The woman stared at him, hands on her hips. She tipped her head to the side. "Ya don't seem very 'evil incarnate', do ya?"

Tam shrugged.

"Ya look half starved," she added.

The mention of food made Tam's mouth water. He didn't need it to survive anymore so She never gave him any. But there were other means to waste away.

"Why did ya come here?" Tam asked.

"These woods are my dowry. I can come here whenever I like," the woman said.

"Oh."

They stood in silence. Even the creek seems to hold its breath.

Suddenly, Tam gasped as if an invisible hand wrapped around his throat.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, body starting to move against his will. His vision blurred, a misty chill seeping into his limbs. His body stepped towards her, Tam trapped inside. "I'm sorry." The last thing he saw before his vision blacked-out entirely was the woman stared at him with an eyebrow raised.

Why didn't she run?

Sound vanished. Touch, smell, sight, everything gone. Tam hovered in blackness, his thoughts the only thing he had left.

It felt like a long time before the world seeped back in. Tam found himself lying on his stomach behind the boulder, head pillowed in his arms. He was exhausted and naked and... not as cold as he should have been. He looked back to find the woman's red cloak draped over him.

It almost felt... warm.

"Where did ya go?"

Tam looked up, shamed flooding over him.

The woman sat a few paces away, fixing her mussed hair. She met his gaze.

"That wasn't ya. Something... other took over ya. What happened?"

Tam sat up stiffly, pulling the cloak around his shoulders and drawing his knees to his chest. "I'm sorry."

The woman chewed her bottom lip. Then, "I'm Kenna. What's your name?"

Why isn't she fleeing? Why isn't she angry? "Tam Lin."

"You're not a fairy knight, are ya."

"Nay."

Kenna picked at the dying grass. "I came here, Tam Lin, to ruin my honor. My father plans to marry me off to an arsepiece Englishman." She paused to spit. "I've no intention of sleeping with a colonizer and he wouldn't sully himself by marrying an unchaste woman. Everyone talks about the fairy knight who haunts these woods. 'No maiden who enters a maiden leaves'," she recited. "I knew what I was doing when I came here. But if I had known ya didn't have a choice, I would have found another way." She paused, debating with herself, then said, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Tam shook his head, unable to meet her gaze. "I'm the one who should beg forgiveness. My lady, if I hurt ya in any way-"

"Ya didn't."

Tam stopped, and hesitantly looked up. A smile was tugging at the corner Kenna's lips. "Ya were quite good, actually," she said.

Tam flushed scarlet. He tried to stammer out a reply but Kenna spoke. "Why are ya here? Are ya cursed?"

Tam shook his head. "My father made a deal a long time ago with-" he forced himself to say Her name, "-with Queen Raghnaid. He gave her his name as a bond."

Kenna winced. "Glaikit," she muttered. Idiot. For once a fairy knew your name, their magic could control you.

"The price was his first born child," Tam continued. "She came for me when I turned eighteen. I've been forced to guard Carterhaugh ever since."

"Well, feck him," Kenna said.

Tam almost smiled. "Yeah."

They sat in silence for a while as the evening crawled closer. The trees hovered and the creeks were back to their whispering.

"Is there no escape?" she asked, quietly, as if she already knew the answer. This was Queen Raghnaid after all.

Tam shook his head. "Nay. But I won't be here much longer, at least."

"How do ya mean?"

"Every seven years, She must pay a tithe to Ifrinn for her power. This time, I'm the sacrifice."

Kenna's brows drew together. "When will this take place?"

"A fortnight, on Hallow's Eve at midnight."

"You're going to die."

"Aye. But I deserve it after all I've done."

Kenna moved closer and took him by the shoulders. "Ya had no choice, lad. I'm not gonna stand by and let ya die when the one burning should be your shite father."

The conviction in her voice, and the way she met his eye without fear or hate, tugged something deep inside Tam. He wanted to lean into her arms. He wanted to believe her. He wanted-

His neck was prickling again.

He pulled away. "Ya can't stop Her."

A smile sliced across Kenna's face like the slash of a dagger. She reached up and smoothed a strand of his long, unkempt hair behind his ear and cupped his cheek. Tam's breath stuttered.

"Watch me," she said. "For your Queen doesn't know my name."

Tam listened to Kenna's plan anxiety growing with every word.

"Nay, nay, Kenna, please," he interrupted. "Even if ya come for me before the ritual, even if Her magic will have no effect on ya, She still controls me." He gripped her hand. "I don't want to hurt ya again. Please, don't risk it." I'm not worth it, he added silently.

Kenna pursed her lips. Tam had changed back into his clothes and she wore her red cloak again. Dusk had long since fallen. The murky shadows confined to the forest during the day stretched out across the land. She batted a tendril of mist away with the back of her hand.

"I'm not leaving ya to die, Tam," she said. "And you're not charging my mind about that."

"But-"

"She doesn't know my name. I'll bring salt and rowan too, if that makes ya feel better."

It didn't, but Tam only sighed.

Kenna's expression turned gentle. "I'm not afraid. We know how to fight, us Scots. We're born into a battle, whether it's against the fae or the fecking English." She stood, and smiled at him where he hunched against the boulder. "I'll return on Hallow's Eve. As long as I can hold onto ya till midnight passes, you'll be free."

She was turned to leave, when horror dawned on Tam.

He jumped up. "Kenna, wait!"

She stopped and looked back at him from beyond the rosebushes.

"I know your name," Tam said. "She'll make me tell her."

Kenna laughed, and the sound was so bright and defiant, even the forest seemed to recoil.

"Ya daft jobbie," she chuckled. She turned with a wink and melted into the darkness. "Did ya really think I told ya my real name?"

It rained on Hallow's Eve. Tam sat against his boulder not bothering to seek shelter. The rain bit at his skin like icy insects. It tinged on the stone, sounding like laughter. Laughter aimed at him.

She's not coming back.

He pressed his hands to his eyes and tried not to think.

It was already night. Any time now, She would be here, and what if she was too late?

She's not coming back.

She's...

Tam froze, his breath stolen away. He whipped around, heart skipping a beat, for She stood at the edge of the forest.

Tam felt Queen Raghnaid smile. He couldn't see her clearly. His mortal eyes could only perceive a misty figure, at once transparent and terrifyingly bright.

Like frigid sparks running through is veins, Tam felt the fairy queen take control of his body, dropping him to his knees before her.

Her voice whispered inside his head like a winter breeze.

Hello, Tam Lin.

He said nothing, keeping his head down. He felt stripped of his skin, his thoughts for all to see.

You've been keeping secrets from me, Tam Lin.

The illusion of an icy hand brushed against his throat.

"I wouldn't dare-" Tam started to say, but the invisible hand tightened lifting him into the air.

He thrashed and choked in her grip as Queen Raghnaid drew him deeper into the forest. Other ghostly-white beings materialized in a circle around him.

She released Tam just before he lost consciousness, letting him plummet to the ear. He pushed himself up, gasping, tears mixing with the rain on his face. He glanced at the fae surrounding him.

She isn't coming back.

Tam steeled himself. "Get on with it then," he said hoarsely. "It's almost midnight, ya hackit nyaff."

Queen Raghnaid laughed, the sound clawing at the inside of his mind. Tam clutched his head and doubled over.

Insolent words coming from you, Tam Lin.

"What are ya going to do? Kill me?" He laughed too, dropping his hands and glaring at her. Tam had lived his whole life at someone's mercy. The least he could do was die without asking for it.

I'm worth that much at least, he decided.

"Wait!" Kenna burst into the circle, passing right through one of the sectors, red clock flying behind her. She grabbed Tam's hand and turned towards the fairy queen. "You're not taking him," she said. "He's mine."

Tam started at his hand clasped in hers. "You... came?" he whispered.

Kenna flashed him a smile. "I promised, didn't I?"

Before Tam could reply, he felt Queen Raghnaid rip into his mind for her name. She found nothing and withdrew, leaving Tam swaying on his feet. Kenna put her arms around him.

"I'm not letting ya kill him," she said, lifting her chin. "Release him now, or we can do this the hard way. Your call."

Queen Raghnaid flashed brighter. She must have spoken to Kenna in her mind for the mortal woman started to reply when Tam felt himself losing control of his body. He staggered back a step, then his fist swung towards Kenna's jaw.

She caught his wrist and twisted it behind his back, tripping him with her foot at the same time. They handed hard on the ground, his arm nearly dislocated.

"Sorry," Kenna whispered, not letting go.

She had him pinned so Tam could barely move. He felt Queen Raghnaid anger coiling inside him. And then his body started to shift and warp as if his bones were melting. Tam's scream was cut short as his body transformed into a snake. Kenna fought to keep her grip as he thrashed about. Queen Raghnaid sank his fangs into Kenna's arm and she cried out but only held on tighter.

The blinding pain returned and he shifted, this time into a cat. He hissed and twisted, scratching her face with wickedly long claws. Kenna bundled him to chest and held on.

Queen Raghnaid's silent scream of frustration shattered Tam's mind as he transformed again. Everything faded into a haze of agony.

Kenna scream. Tam fought to surface through the pain. What was She doing to her? What was happening?

Dimly he became aware of the shape he's been forced to take. First he sensed fire, then ash as he realized he was a burning coal. The smell of scorched flesh came next as Kenna kept holding onto him tightly, screaming through the pain yet refusing to surrender. Her blood mixed with the rain. It seeped into the coal, yet the fire kept burning, devouring her flesh.

You should have known you couldn't escape me, Tam-

Queen Raghnaid voice disappeared. Next came a flood of liquid fire as Tam's body morphed. He lost himself in the pain, only surfacing when he felt the rain beating against his skin.

He lay on the muddy ground, blinking up at the sky, so dazed he struggled to remember his name. The fae had vanished; Queen Raghnaid absence left a void. He kept waiting for the pain, for a command, for Her, but nothing came.

Kenna draped her cloak across him. Only then did Tam realize his clothes had disappeared. He forced his eyes to focus, the sight of her gashed face ripping his heart. He struggled to sit up, gathering her burnt hands into his. He could see to the bone on her palms, what flesh that was left either oozing or charred.

"Kenna..." He bent and kissed her fingertips, touch feather light.

"Tam Lin," she replied, leaning forward to catch his eye. She touched her forehead to his. "You're free. Free of Her, free of this forest."

A lump rose in Tam's throat. "Kenna-"

They helped each other stand and walk through the trees towards the border of Carterhaugh Wood.

As they passed the rosebushes, Kenna leaned her head on his shoulder. "And Tam Lin," she whispered. "My name is Janet."

The End