Pickle bomb

PICKLE BOMB

Jaanu was the one and only loving wife of Sitaram. The family belonged to an Indian orthodox family. Mrs. Subbalakshmi, Sitaram’s mother, was the controlling authority of the house. Jaanu had limited access to the things at home. It was a herculean task for her to satisfy her mother-in-law. The pious lady was in the doghouse following the rules of the family.

Jaanu was supposed to cook as per the measures given by her mother-in-law. She had bite off more than she could chew. No freedom to taste food or make choices. Food was served on the banana leaves. The rule was that the wife should have the lunch on the same leaf on which her husband was fed. Whatever was served by her mother-in- law was all she could eat. The young lady had no words to say than to crib for herself. In a nutshell Jaanu was in imprisonment.

Years passed. She ran out of steam to manage things. She had her head in the clouds and said, “one day even I will be the mother-in-law of this house and I will have a chance to take revenge.” But alas! Mrs. Subbamma would not be the victim.” What an irony!

One day she took out the last straw and spoke with her husband,” I have been following the rules of the house since the day I wedded you. I’m getting bent out of shape. Your mom is such a miserly lady, she never even serves food on a separate leaf. Moreover, I should eat only what she serves, cook only with what ingredients she offers, and I must bite the bullet every time. In these many years I have not even tasted a pinch of pickle. And if I ask for, the great lady says, you will eat more food if I serve you pickle. I am totally disgusted.”

Next day Mr. Sitaram came up with a great idea. He said,” Jaanu I have a solution for your problem. Let’s buckle down this noon at lunch time. I will ask mom to serve extra pickle and leave it for you. you can relish along with your food.” This seemed something loving. Jaanu was over the moon. The silence and smile spoke more than words. Things went on as per the plans. Jaanu tasted the pickle. It was a divine lunch that day. But it didn’t end up there. Mrs. Subbalakshmi the great! who was watching all this, grew furious. She wrapped Jaanu in an old mat, took a bottle of kerosene and carried to the graveyard to burn her alive. But she had forgotten to take the matchbox. She went home running, came back with the matchbox and lit the bundle.

 “That pretentious lady. She was getting out of hand. So, I burnt her alive.” She said to her son. “But mom! Whom did you burn alive?” Mr. Sitaram asked.

“Whom else, will I? Your wife. I finished her at the drop of a hat.” But mom why did you do that? Mr. Sitaram asked worriedly. “Hmmmm you will marry someone of my choice, who brings fortune. Now go and hit the sack. no more questions.” mom declared.

 It was dawn, Mrs. Subbalakshmi came out to draw rangoli in the courtyard. She was wonder struck to see Jaanu standing right in front of the gate. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Fear traveled from head to toe, making her blood run cold. Heart was pounding. Am I dreaming! Or is she a devil? She rubbed her eyes several times and saw her from different angles. Jaanu was in front of her standing with a smile. Subbamma’s words stuck in her throat and she couldn’t utter a single word. She wanted to scream. But the voice did not flow out.

Jaanu expounded with a smile from ear to ear. Atte, (she used to call her mother-in -law) all happened for our good fortune. You burnt me alive, I reached the heaven. You know what happened there? The Gods offered me a seat and questioned a few things about our family.

I told about our home, my husband and most importantly about you. you can guess Atte what I said. Didn’t miss out to say about my favorite pickle that you make. And fortunately, yesterday I had tied a piece of raw mango pickle at the edge of my saree to eat at night. The Gods there saw that…. one of the attenders came to me, snatched the pickle and gave it to Devendra. He asked me in a loud voice, “what is this?” I started shivering. Then, told him that it was the pickle made by you. he tasted it and loved the taste.

Atte, see here what I got as reward for the pickle. They told me to take as much gold as I want. I grabbed as much as I can and thanked them. Then, Devendra said, “send your mother-in-law here so that she can make the pickle here and other dishes too.” Atte!!! You must see the God’s palace. So much of gold, so much of gems, very divine fragrance of flowers and fruits. Such a wonderful place I had never seen in my lifetime.

Mrs. Subbalakshmi stood dumb founded to see the bag full of gold and gems. Then, she hugged her daughter-in-law and praised laurels. “OMG! OMG! OMG! Jaanu, what a lucky lady you are! Gods loved my pickle you say! Come on dear wrap me just like I wrapped you take the kerosene and matchbox. I will bring ten times the wealth you have brought. Then, we can live happily for the rest of our lives.” She said.

Jaanu never ever dreamt that things would fall in line so easily. Without wasting a minute, she moved ahead. She burnt her mother-in-law alive and returned home.

Mr. Sitaram just woke up from his bed rubbing his eyes, cursing his mother for having burnt his lovely wife. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his wife at the door. What a surprise! Where were you last night. Where is mom? Hundred questions boggled. He interrogated her with great length.

Jaanu revealed the whole story, “your mom wrapped me in an old mat, took a bottle of kerosene and carried to the graveyard to burn me alive. But she had forgotten to take the matchbox. She went home running, came back with the matchbox and lit the bundle.

when the great lady had been to bring the matchbox, I slipped out of the mat and stuffed some pieces of wood, bricks and stones and had escaped. I saw her lighting the bundle and returning. I sat under a tree planning for my next move. It was midnight and the weird sounds were very scary. Adding to it just a stone’s throw away, a gang of thieves arrived. One was holding a torchlight. Other two were digging a whole. There were two more carrying big bags. They put the bags into the hole, covered it and left the place.

My heart was in my mouth till the thieves walked out of my sight. Then, Zing! Entered the devil within me. Daringly, I walked to the spot where the thieves had buried the bags. I excavated and took the bags. Amazingly, the bags were full of gold and gems. My happiness knew no bounds. I carried the bags and straightly stepped towards home triumphantly planning to take revenge. Things were so magical and worked easily than I believed.

Now, my dear your mom is making pickle in the heaven. Let us live peacefully. We have enough wealth which is enough for our lifetime and relieved from the clutches of the great miserly lady, her highness-your mom-Mrs. Subbalakshmi.