The Day It'll Shine

Looking out my window and hoping to see more than my reflection. What I did see was this same girl standing behind me reaching over to touch me. That same girl was me. When I turned around she looked exactly like me. I looked back out my window hoping to turn back around and not see myself standing there. So, I close my eyes wondering if my imagination was playing with me, but when I turned back around and there I was still standing. Is this real? Am I still asleep? Closing my eyes once again, hoping to wake up from a dream but when I pinched myself I heard a laugh. She told me, this is no dream, I see you as you see me. Looking at the time making sure it’s not devil hour, it’s late but not 3am at night. Should I scream and wake everyone up? But, What if what I’m seeing is just an illusion? I can here my mom now asking me to talk to some shrink while my brother is laughing. He probably wouldn’t let me go to the All Star Game next week. I am pretty sure I can handle a ghost. What’s the worse that can happen? Oohh, My ghost is going to eat me…. Tear out my flesh and take over my life…. Okay now that’s not funny because I’m not sure what she wants. Yea, that’s the question, What does she want? Alright, I’m ready to help my other self find peace. 

So, What should I call you? I asked. Duh! What does everyone call you? Tammy, she said. She has a smart mouth I see. Okay Tammy? What can I do for you? Why are you here? Is there anyway I may just be seeing things? Placing her hands together, she started to move towards the bed and then she answered. You called me here and I’m not sure why I’m here. I should be in the future picking glitter out our son hair after our daughter painted his nails. Now I’m here with you while our idiot boyfriend is at home asleep. Boyfriend? I have a boyfriend? That’s not the point Tammy, I have a lot to do beside play chit chat with you. Jason is his name and you have not met him yet before you ask. Now, Can you answer my questions? Wow! She’s a cranky one with a smart mouth I see. So, let me get this straight, I called you from the future without knowing how and your blaming it on me? No, I know this is a dream now. It’s time to wake up Tam…. Wake up! Wake up! “Slap” Why did you do that for? I asked. I was just helping you out, she replied. Now are you awake? I am still here trying to convince a 3 year old to believe I am Tinkerbell. Sarcastically saying, Yes I am still here! Shocked as we were to be, stuck without a word to say. We both sat down thinking if there is any reason why this is happening to us. Where is the connection? Is there something we missed? Hold up, she said. What’s your deal? What is it your going through? I told you what’s going on for me in the future and it’s time for you to tell me something. Do you have any tissue? I asked Why? I m sure I can take it, she said. 

Well, if you can’t remember, tomorrow will be the day I have to tell mom I saw dad with Miss Lisa. I promised dad I wouldn’t tell because of mom’s condition, but I can’t take it to my grave. What I saw the other day was not right and I’ll be wrong if I didn’t say anything. Wow Tammy! Is this really the day when I told mom that dad was having the affair? Tomorrow, it will be and my stomach is killing me. Dad is going to be mad at me forever isn’t he? No, not at all. Really? I asked. I shouldn’t be telling you this Tam, you may want to sit down for this. Oh my, I wondered if I wanted to hear what she was about to tell me. Ouch! Why you do that? Sorry, I was hoping we both would wake up, she said. She knew that wasn’t going to work cause it sure didn’t work the first time. Don’t tell me! I warned her, I want it to be how it should be. I know wishing 10 yrs would go on and pass me by only…. Only.. Tam!! Did you wish you could go back 10 yrs by chance? I sure did! Yes…. I did. Only because I missed looking out the window here at moms when I need to be alone and think. When I would glaze out the window, it was as I left my body. Life at that moment didn’t exist. It was just me and the universe and it felt peaceful. Looking at her expression reminded me what our grandmother would say. No matter how cloudy it may be. No matter how bad the storm can be….. The sun will soon to shine and shine days after. Sometimes things may seem rough and out of control, but it won’t last forever. Yes, Now that’s true acceptance she would say. So, telling mom the truth will be rough, even if it disappoints dad. Eventually he will have to own up to his lies and deceitful ways. Right? Yes, Now for me, I know Jason may not understand how much I hate how he lacks not having any responsibility whatsoever. I need to stand up and tell him how I feel even if it puts our relationship on the line. Yeah, it will be rough without him, but it’ll be easier without him. All I ask for him to do is put a lot more effort in besides using it all up on the video game. If not, I’m sure the sun will shine after the storm.