Science Fiction Contemporary Speculative

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Dr. Marla Keen carefully brushed Solution-74 on both sides of the guillotine blade. Her hands shook, but she wasn’t sure if that was because of the arthritis, or the tequila, or the fact she was still in her lab at two in the morning. Or, because of what she was about to do.

Not only was her latest grant still up in the air, no doubt thanks to that asshole Dr. Becker in the next lab over throwing his hat into the ring, but the university cut her funding today too. Small mercy she didn’t have any grad students left to disappoint, though as it stood, if that money didn’t come through she was done. Thirty years of research about to be pissed away – thirty years of her life – all because of small-minded bureaucracy.

“Not if I can help it,” she muttered. Then she sniffed, and wiped away the tears she didn’t realize had started.

After another shot of tequila she beheld her work. Solution-74 – the seventy-fourth iteration of her life’s labour – coated the blade, a thick goop like pale honey. It wasn’t actually a guillotine, of course – that’s just what she called it. She had built the machine years ago for (another) project that hadn’t gone anywhere, where she needed to do a lot of chopping, and building it had turned out cheaper and more fulfilling than just buying something off the shelf. So now she had a heavy industrial blade suspended from a two-foot metal gantry, powered by a pneumatic system of her own design. Very useful for shredding, in a pinch.

All she needed now was some results. Results would lead to funding.

She took a deep breath and placed her right index finger on the trigger button. She’d sacrificed too much – ever having kids, anything resembling a stable relationship, the last of her friends – for never to be an option, so that left only now.

Though despite her never-ending list of nevers, she did have a few almosts. She lost touch with her sister, but she did still frequently chat with Kevin and Jane, her nephew and niece. She long ago gave up any pretenses of being the cool aunt, but they seemed more than happy to have a brilliant nerdy scientist aunt, and that suited her just fine. Though, now that they were fully grown adults, she was also the wise mentor who could guide them through the world of academia and provide references.

Not that her recommendation carried much weight.

Still, it was nice to be needed, and she loved her niblings. They were almost like her own kids.

Almost.

But she was sick of almosts, and it was time for results.

She thrust her left arm under the blade and let loose the guillotine. Her scream was cut short by a wet cracking.

Marla woke up with a start. The first thought after her eyes snapped open was the realization she must have blacked out. The second was remembering the context.

The work table was smeared with dry brown blood. There was a wrist and half a forearm laying by the guillotine blade. The skin was pallid, the fingers neutral. Around the wrist, her watch. Internally, she noted a feeling of nausea, her heart hammering in her ears, and a sudden flash of cold all over her skin – shock, she suspected. When her vision blurred she focused on her breathing. And then it occurred to her: one thing she was not feeling was pain. Nor, evidently, had she bled out. Steeling herself, she turned her attention to her arm – to her stump.

It took all her concentration to turn the thing – the absence of thing – to her face. Noting her arm weighed less than she was used to helped. But definitely no pain, just an intense itching. Her skin around the injury was smeared with blood, but the site itself was covered in a bubbly yellow froth – Solution-74 in action. And then she felt a tug, like someone was massaging her flexor pollicis longus from the inside. And then–

Marla gasped.

She saw new flesh forming. She felt her bones extend.

“It’s working!”

Right before her eyes, her arm was regrowing.

She stumbled immediately across the lab to her workstation, and started recording the process.

Funding was hard to get for a number of reasons. As much as she wanted to blame Dr. Becker – Anthony – there was more to it than that. Perhaps it just hurt all the more, that once upon a time they could have been. Fresh out of grad school, they had been two brilliant young rising stars. They met at the Newark conference and hit it off right away, and worse, had the same corny sense of humour. And, the same goals.

Almost.

“I know it’s not fair,” he said. “But we both want kids…”

“I can’t put my research on hold right now. Not when it’s just starting!”

In the end, later became never, their relationship died, and her research stagnated. Until now.

It had taken a mind-blowing twenty-three minutes for her stump to regrow her hand. She could barely believe it – could barely believe having lopped off her arm in the first place – but her new fingers, wriggling right before her eyes, were undeniably real.

More, she had perfect control of them. The fuzzy itching faded away and she felt all the expected sensations as she tested her skin, her grip, her reflexes. Even more, if anything the sensations felt clearer, like she’d been wearing earplugs for years and finally removed the left one.

And most curiously – most unexpectedly – was her joints no longer hurting. Gone was the arthritis. Her left hand wasn’t just new, it was also improved. This gave her a chuckle initially, but when she looked closer she found more things to note. There was a clear line where her old skin ended and her new skin began, and her new skin was smooth and firm, where the old was wrinkled. Then, despite the left hand being “newborn”, it was stronger and more confident than her right.

“Holy crap,” she said.

Her hand hadn’t just grown back. It had grown back younger. She had just blown right through funding and deep into Nobel territory.

And most importantly, vindication.

That was especially important, as they’d probably call her mad. “Marla’s the arm lady,” they’d say. “Chopped her own arm off. Totally nuts!” Of course, she’d just invented a future where lost limbs – and failing organs, and permanent scars, and chronic pain, and maybe even aging – were no longer issues. Her work trivialized all kinds of human catastrophes.

Now she was vindicated. Now, her humanitarian efforts were unassailable. Now, the damn questions of ethics would stop.

Because outside of bureaucracy, and the Anthonies of the world, it was ethics that kept getting in the way. No, not like that. She believed ethical research was good, in principle. In practice, it left a lot to be desired, like when she found willing, well-informed volunteers for her work and she still didn’t get the green light. They kept throwing the L-word in her face.

Liability.

So maybe it wasn’t ethics after all. Maybe it was the small-minded bean counters and their lawyers, people who expressed every problem as a dollar sum.

Well, none of that mattered any more. In the end she had self-funded her research, and all it cost her was an arm. She chuckled at her own joke, and jotted it down. It was a perfect ice-breaker for when The Crazy Arm Lady presented her findings to her peers.

Then she heard a couple of very soft footsteps behind her, and with alarm she realized it was already seven in the morning. She wasn’t expecting anyone, but if cleaners or maintenance or IT or whatever stumbled upon her personal bloodbath, she’d have a hell of a time explaining it to admin. She spun around on her stool, launched to her feet, and froze with a gasp.

Before her stood Marla Keen.

Naked as the day she was born, hair in full rebellion, and covered in places with the odd smear of blood or the crusty mucus residue of post-activation Solution-74, but unmistakably, Marla was looking at herself.

Only, the other Marla stood taller. Her stomach was flat, her skin was smooth, her breasts didn’t sag, and there was definition in her biceps and thighs and calves. She was reminded of her love affair with racquetball, two decades prior, back before her knees ached, back before doors started closing on her.

“I was right,” Marla whispered. It was like looking into a mirror to the past. “It’s the fountain of youth!”

The only blemish on the other Marla was her left hand: trembling slightly, covered in mottled skin, the fingers crooked and cramping.

“Almost,” said Young Marla.

Marla’s eyes widened even further. This wasn’t just a revitalized body, was it? This was a clone of her! Dared she imagine what she could accomplish if there were two of her? And what were the implications? This meant that Solution-74 could work on even a tiny scrap of body – what were its limits?

“I think you’ll find,” Young Marla continued, “that I found the fountain of youth.”

Marla blinked, unsure of what to make of that tone, as her imagination soared through endless possibilities, the future of humanity forever changed for the better. The hopes and dreams that all seemed suddenly so close she could grab them were dizzying.

She was caught completely unaware, when Young Marla knocked her to the ground and strangled her.

Posted Nov 07, 2023
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33 likes 54 comments

Luciano Cortese
20:44 Nov 09, 2023

I think this is the first story of yours I’ve read that ventured into total fiction territory, but I really enjoy that you keep up the running theme of wasted youth and time and people in mid life crises making the world’s worst decisions because at that point they have nothing left to lose. The dark twist at the end was a little bit predictable— evil clones killing the original is not exactly a revolutionary idea, but it does what it’s meant to accomplish and it does it well, so I think it works fine. What’s more interesting and what sets the story apart from the hundreds of ‘clone kills original’ stories out there is the internal monologue and the deep dive into Marla’s psychology and the utter desperation that led to doing such a thing.

I wonder how Young Marla’s gonna get away with this though because I don’t see an easy way to explain her having one arm that matches her old body. She could chop it off, but then another clone comes from that arm and tries to kill her, and then that clone has to get rid of the old arm, and on and on in a carousel of carnage.

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Michał Przywara
21:42 Nov 10, 2023

Thanks, Luciano!

Yes, all excellent points. I think this was a crime of opportunity for Young Marla, and it definitely comes with consequences (although, was it a crime? Overall she even comes out healthier - physically - than when she started. Well, a court case for this might be an interesting story in its own right.) "Carousel of carnage" is a great visual :)

And yeah, the premise with the violent clones is in no way original, so I'm glad the character stood out on her own merits. I think you really nailed the theme with "wasted youth and time and people in mid life crises making the world’s worst decisions because at that point they have nothing left to lose". I suppose I do dig into that quite a bit; seems like it's loaded with stories.

I greatly appreciate the feedback!

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Ferris Shaw
20:50 Nov 13, 2023

She could chop off the old arm and make sure it falls straight into a furnace.

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Karen Corr
00:50 Nov 09, 2023

I wonder if the evil Marla will know how to tell the joke about the arm? The ending was the work of genius!(or mad scientist) Great story, Michal! (:

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Michał Przywara
21:44 Nov 09, 2023

Ha, that's a good question :) It doesn't quite work the same way from her perspective.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Karen, thanks for reading!

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05:18 Nov 08, 2023

Great twist, perfect pacing. You really kept me guessing what's going on at quite a few points in this. What a twist, you show us the cut off hand, and then later on..aha we should have thought of that! At the end it made me think about the ethnical question of which one/s are the real Marla.

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Michał Przywara
21:33 Nov 08, 2023

Thanks, Scott!

I've long been fascinated by the idea of the Ship of Theseus, and combined with modern technology (well, conceivable sci-fi tech anyway), how that might apply to the human body. Particularly if the parts that get replaced are preserved - can you end up with two of the original? I don't think this has a definite answer.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it :)

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Graham Kinross
02:38 Nov 18, 2023

Can’t go wrong with clones. I like the identity ethics of it. Have you ever seen Orphan Black?

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Michał Przywara
00:16 Nov 20, 2023

Ever since I came across the ship of Theseus, and wondered how that might apply to humans (and given the way medical science is going, replaceable body parts on demand is not out of the realm of possibility) I've been enamoured by the possibilities. We say clone, but which is the original? Which has more claim? And is it a distinction that matters?

I haven't seen Orphan Black though, no.

Thanks for reading, Graham!

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Graham Kinross
07:34 Nov 20, 2023

Orphan Black is an excellent dive into the kid of vague identity issues you’re talking about and with a world class acting performance from Tatiana Maslany. I can’t recommend it enough.

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Mia Klausa
22:09 Nov 16, 2023

That was a fantastic madfemale/scientist

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Michał Przywara
21:39 Nov 17, 2023

Glad you enjoyed it, Mia!

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Martin Ross
19:57 Nov 15, 2023

Love it!! Sci-fi/horror’s one of my favorite hybrids, and you did it intelligently and in a chillingly understated way. Yes, cloning’s a familiar theme, but you put a great twist on it.

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Michał Przywara
22:00 Nov 16, 2023

Thanks, Martin! I like that combo too - both deal with the unknown, and there's so much room for overlap. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Martin Ross
23:47 Nov 16, 2023

If you want a great SF/Horror mindblower, find Devs on HULU. Stars Nick Offerman as a grieving tech guru, which is admission price alone, and I won’t spoil the concept, but it is truly staggering. I still want to throttle J.J. Abrams for the Lost payoff.

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Michał Przywara
21:37 Nov 17, 2023

Thanks for the recommendation! Though it looks like it hits pretty close to the day-job :) I'll add it to my list.

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Marty B
05:46 Nov 15, 2023

Love it- A lot of great comments, so as a fan of First Lines- I ll just say this is a great opener-

'Dr. Marla Keen carefully brushed Solution-74 on both sides of the guillotine blade.'

The 'carefully brushed' lets the reader know this Doctor is detailed and focused, and the named 'Solution-74' is of course an important chemical compound.
Until the reader comes across the 'guillotine blade' and the wild ride begins!

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Michał Przywara
22:35 Nov 15, 2023

Thanks Marty! High praise from the king of first lines :) I still think about your opener for “Long Distance Phone Call.” I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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Ferris Shaw
20:54 Nov 13, 2023

I'm surprised at Doctor Keen's not noticing that she's just blown way past Nobel Prize territory. The mass of that new arm, or in the case of Young Marla, the mass of a nearly entire new body---where did it come from? She appears to have just put paid to the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy.

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Michał Przywara
22:36 Nov 15, 2023

You're right, of course! Perhaps it's a mix of the late hour, the tequila, and the shock. Or perhaps it's more science-fantasy than sci-fi :)

(And on that note, *that* would be a great premise for a story. Seemingly shattering that law - the investigation into what we're missing could be great fun.)

Thanks for the feedback, Ferris!

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Jonathan Page
13:12 Nov 13, 2023

Wow, Michal! Captivating writing throughout. Great piece. Incredible internality. You take the reader on a carefully plotted journey in this one telling moment--giving the protagonist back the hope of redeeming everything they've lost only to take it away again.

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Michał Przywara
21:35 Nov 14, 2023

Thanks, Jonathan! Yes, a little cruel, I suppose :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Helen A Howard
06:52 Nov 13, 2023

A story about a scientist losing her way which carried through into a great ending. There’s a moral in the tale somewhere. Humans are never happy, always wanting more. As for dealing with ageing and pain, where do we begin? Who wouldn’t want a pain-free healthy body?
I liked the way you kept raising questions about what Marla had given up in her life with the word “almost.” It made for a good backstory. An important point made about the way she grew increasingly desperate and felt she had nothing more to lose. Society does not always value its older citizens who still have much to give.

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Michał Przywara
21:36 Nov 13, 2023

Great point, Helen! On that note, I wonder if society values middle aged citizens, or younger citizens. Sometimes it seems like “success” is an ever shifting target - because surely everyone has a different definition of it - and getting wrapped up in that is a great way to make yourself miserable. “Humans are never happy, always wanting more.” Too right. I wonder if Marla was ultimately her own worst enemy.

I appreciate the feedback!

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Helen A Howard
08:15 Nov 14, 2023

Marla may well have been her own worst enemy, but there was a sense of having sacrificed along the way for the ultimate scientific goal. She seemed to have been bypassed and as a result become fixated on achieving her goal, resulting in further isolation.
Let’s see how the new Marla fares in the world. Not too well by the look of things!!! 😂

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Mary Bendickson
20:39 Nov 12, 2023

Lots of action in the comments.I can only say I agree. I kept thinking that arm was going to continue to evolve at a fast pace and become uncontrollable til it negated all her hard work and expectations of success. I guess cloning and killing the host was the same thing. Superb story telling as usual.

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Michał Przywara
21:39 Nov 13, 2023

Thanks, Mary! Yeah, the arm continuing to develop would be a great alternate story too. That could easily dip into body horror, as the thing just keeps growing or something, especially if it had a mind of its own. I appreciate the feedback!

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Kailani B.
18:36 Nov 12, 2023

It seems like Younger Marla won't be taking the family route either. But will she make another clone and then get murdered by that clone, and then just keep getting murdered by younger versions of herself? Or is Anthony going to become the clone stopper once he realizes that the Marla he knew is completely gone? Or, wait a sec, they're BOTH going to turn to murder in an attempt to convince people that killing yourself is the best way to stay young.

I see a lot of possibilities :)

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Michał Przywara
21:42 Nov 13, 2023

Ha, lots of great ideas!

“convince people that killing yourself is the best way to stay young” - this particularly seems awesome. It immediately put me in mind of slash and burn agriculture, only applied to people. Kill the old flesh for the young. And then it sounded like a really dark metaphor for having kids :)

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Kailani - thanks for the feedback!

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Hazel Ide
14:20 Nov 12, 2023

This was so great! She was so clearly determined she became blinded in a way. Gruesome, haunting but also poetic.

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Michał Przywara
21:44 Nov 13, 2023

Great observation, Hazel :) Drive can help us accomplish incredible things, but it can also blind us. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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AnneMarie Miles
03:36 Nov 12, 2023

Oh snap! Young Marla coming in quick! I'll be the sole reader who is not well-versed in the clone-kills-original trope and admit that I did not see that ending coming, lol.

I do wonder what that says about original Marla's past character, assuming Young Marla shares memories and personality with the original. Perhaps, her younger self was more viciously competitive? Or maybe Young Marla wants to relive her life, enjoying the fruits of her success at a young age while being able to do all the things she had to put off, like getting married and having kids?

The details about her past sacrifices and missed experiences in life really seem to have a significant role here; it makes the lack of success all the more torturous. She's given up so much but still hasn't gotten what she's worked so hard for. It's also the motivation, determination, and hope that this Solution-74 will be her big break, the thing that will finally make all the sacrifices worth it. Then, when it does work, her excitement distracts her from what should be an obvious outcome (at least I'd hope she would be able to read her own body language/facial expressions, lol). So in a weird way, her unexpected clone might appear and kill her as a way to give her a second chance? Karmic justice, maybe? (A little far-fetched, considering Young Marla's less-than-friendly tone.) But maybe Old Marla has to die so there's at least a chance that Young Marla can have the husband, have the kids, get the funding and the Nobel prize. Of course, she'd have a lot of explaining to do which might lead to unforeseen consequences...hmmmm...

Yes. This is speculative indeed! Very intriguing and interesting to think about. Your stories always are!

And I mean, tequila, guillotine, right at the beginning - you always have a great way of pulling a reader in.

Thanks for sharing, Michal. Best of luck with this one!

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Michał Przywara
04:11 Nov 13, 2023

“Perhaps, her younger self was more viciously competitive? Or maybe Young Marla wants to relive her life, enjoying the fruits of her success” - Good insight. I suspect both are true. I think she's of two minds: one has made peace with her looming mortality, and the other realizes that she's been given a second (and perhaps third, fourth, etc.) chance, and no longer needs to compromise with reality.

I suspect it's like that hypothetical question, “would you like to be immortal?” Lots of people will say no, imagining all the ways it could turn horrible. But can we be so sure of ourselves, if we actually had the opportunity? A bit like "could you kill if you had to?" A thought experiment is very different from actually being in the situation.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Anne Marie! I always look forward to your feedback :)

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Philip Ebuluofor
17:03 Nov 09, 2023

Fine work. Too much finger-chopping from one cutting machine by inmates when I was in Dongguan International Prison. Maybe that machine isn't all that new after all.

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Michał Przywara
21:39 Nov 09, 2023

Thanks Philip!

I'd not heard of Dongguan before - did a bit of research, and it sounds like it has an interesting history. Terrible to hear about the fingers though!

I appreciate the feedback.

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Philip Ebuluofor
12:06 Nov 13, 2023

My pleasure.

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Tom Skye
13:14 Nov 09, 2023

Haha this was great. The ending perfectly (and satirically) summed up the ruthless competitiveness of academia.

I enjoyed this a lot. The background you presented throughout was a perfect depiction of the sacrifices an academic makes. From the outside it seems like a wasted life, but when you live it day-by-day it seems somewhat sane.

Amidst the great plot was some really clever throwaway elements. Makeshifting some dodgy equipment for the sake of cost. Being the cool academic aunt gives her some sense of identity. Her making the observation of her arm being lighter, showed that even in a moment of trauma she is still thinking scientifically.

Really great stuff Michal. Some obvious sci fi in there but the character, setting, and predicament were astutely observed.

Fantastic work!

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Michał Przywara
21:44 Nov 09, 2023

Thanks, Tom!

I'm glad those little details paid off, like her noting the arm weight. It was probably all she could do to not panic, given the circumstances. I kind of had in mind those people who performed surgeries on themselves, and the incredible focus that must have taken.

"From the outside it seems like a wasted life, but when you live it day-by-day it seems somewhat sane" Heh :) What a wonderful sentence. Could probably describe a lot of things that way :)

I appreciate the feedback!

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Ken Cartisano
09:06 Nov 09, 2023

Great ending.

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Michał Przywara
21:41 Nov 09, 2023

Thanks!

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Nina H
01:00 Nov 09, 2023

Wow, Marla 2.0 is on a mission! Great story, and thought provoking ideas of ethics in the science world. What is “too far”? In so many ways here.

I think if you’re looking to move around the niblings, maybe have her think of them right after the thoughts of her past relationships and before the chop. I agree with Michelle, and think it would flow well that way if you’re looking to move it! Then it would go from pondering, to chopping, to waking up.
I like this take on the jaded academic. And the implications of it all!

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Michał Przywara
21:47 Nov 09, 2023

Thanks Nina! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

And thanks for that feedback! I agree with you and Michelle, and I've moved things around. I had a vision for that section initially, but looking back on it, it didn't quite work, and I prefer this being one more motivation for her instead. One more regret, and one more push to finally seize the success she's always wanted.

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Nina H
21:51 Nov 09, 2023

Yes, the “solution” to her achieving her life’s ambition!

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Chris Miller
22:14 Nov 08, 2023

I thought you were setting Dr Becker up to get the chop, but he might still be in trouble with a homicidal (suicidal?) Young Marla out there.

A nice idea. Begs all sorts of questions and sets up a lot of crazy story possibilities.

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Michał Przywara
21:45 Nov 09, 2023

Thanks, Chris!

Hmm, frustrated researcher denied funding, taking it out on the lab next door? Yeah, that sounds like a great story too :) But more murdery :)

I appreciate the feedback!

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Danie Nikole
16:27 Nov 08, 2023

Mmm.

Desperate Marla. There is something to be said for a protagonist who is willing to sacrifice everything for their own ambitions. On one hand (possibly a pun intended here), we can't help but admire her. I mean, to go that FAR. On the other hand, well. Sometimes, it's best to cut our losses and move on... okay, I'm done. That was the last one.

I'd be very curious to see what New Marla is capable of since we got to see what Old Marla could do. Great exploration of the fountain of youth. You give us enough details about Marla for her to feel very real to us. The type of aunt she was, the type of lover (work before everything), and how much her work means to her that she's willing to find any way she can to prove herself. I wonder what made her this way. A drive to help humanity? Pride? And then eventually it could have just turned into a burning desire for her life to have actually meant something before it’s over - to not let everything she's done be in vain. I think we can all relate to that. She's an interesting character for sure. Both of her(s)?

I struggled with the prompts this week and bowed out, but happy to see you here. I think I've gotten attached. Anyway, thanks for the break from a mundane Wednesday. Byeee

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Michał Przywara
21:49 Nov 09, 2023

I don't know what New Marla is capable of, but I bet she thinks she can do things better this time around. Although maybe it's off to a shaky start, if she begins with murder (suicide?)

I've always been fascinated by those kinds of questions - if you could go back, would you do it all over again; if you could write your past self a letter; if you had a time machine. I suspect these are a bit like "If you had to kill someone, could you?" where you probably don't really know how you'd act until you're actually in that situation.

Old Marla, having come to some kind of terms with life, would probably say she wouldn't change a thing. But given an actual opportunity to do it again - youth, with wealth and renown this time - maybe that all goes out the window.

Anyway, I think you're right on with "a burning desire for her life to have actually meant something". I find that topic endlessly fascinating.

Thanks for reading, Danie! I always look forward to your take.

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Danie Nikole
00:13 Nov 10, 2023

I feel like I’m not following etiquette if I blow up your comment section too much. Just following up to say. Yes! Exactly those kinds of questions. Human behavior and things that drive the human mind, I love exploring these things so much. It’s why stories of all kinds satiate my curiosity. The thing that keeps drawing me back to your stories is the way you really seem to have an understanding of believable human nature. It makes reading things from you and conversations with you meaningful to me. I’m not sure at what point in my life I started wanting to understand why humans are the way we are or why we do the things we do but it’s compulsive at this point. Okay, I’m going away now.

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Michał Przywara
21:58 Nov 10, 2023

Ha, I wouldn't know anything about etiquette :) I do like the discussions that arise from stories though - sometimes they're better than the stories themselves, and they'll often prompt follow up work. I just wish the site had better tools for communication. Oh well.

I agree with you about the compulsion thing. Maybe it's egocentric, but "why are we the way we are" is such a fascinating question. Especially because there probably isn't a nice, clean answer that fits everyone.

Anyway, I appreciate our chats too! Looking forward to your next story :)

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