Pixie Dust

PIXIE DUST

BY LINDA HERSKOVIC

Amy looked around at all the unfamiliar faces. She wasn’t sure what she was doing there. She didn’t feel very social. She was planning on staying home, finishing up all seven seasons of Mad Men on Netflix for the fourth time and going to bed early. It had been a truly epic cruddy year and she wasn’t expecting much from the upcoming one. And now she had to put on a party face.

The apartment was done up very festive. There was a lot of chattering and some jazz background music, like a scene in a movie. She stood there unnoticed for a while until her friend, the hostess, spotted her.

“Oh Amy,” Karen said coming over and giving her a hug. “I’m so glad you made it.”

Amy smiled even though it hurt her jaw and cracked lips and handed Karen an indiscriminate bottle of wine. Karen knew that Amy was down and pestered her to come and meet new people which she insisted was just what she needed. Karen was in a 10-year relationship so what did she know?

“Glad you’re here,” Karen said again and told her to go get a drink while she finished her obligatory mingling.

Amy went to the bar and asked the young man, who looked like he may have been Karen’s son, for a white wine spritzer but then changed it to something stronger, an Absolut and orange juice, light on the orange juice. She figured she just had to make it through till midnight and then she could sneak away, preferably without having spoken to anyone.

Karen and Michael sure had a lot of friends or acquaintances. She figured there were about 40 people packed in the decent sized one-bedroom apartment. She almost didn’t make it before midnight because she lived on the west side of Manhattan and she took the subway to 50^th Street not realizing that she couldn’t get across because of crowds in Times Square to watch the ball fall. There were barriers and cops all over. She was about to go back down the steps but the fear of somehow getting stuck on the train at midnight with a bunch of drunks was more than her fear of going farther uptown and west to get to East 51 Street. So she made her way through the throngs of people across the first unblocked street, in the cold, getting bumped into and almost dropping the wine bottle about 10 times.

And here she was not feeling much better than if she had gotten stuck in the subway.

It was after 11:45 pm.

She drank the drink, trying unsuccessfully to pace herself, waiting for the buzz. Almost everyone was engaged in some form of conversation; she felt she didn’t have much to contribute so she stood at the side of the bar so as not to block others from possibly drinking away any discomfort.

She saw this cheerful looking pixie-like woman approaching the bar. She hoped that pixie wouldn’t notice her even though their eyes had accidentally met. She looked down so pixie would order and go away.

She ordered a vodka tonic but didn’t go away.

“Hi. I’m Rebecca,” she said, putting out her free hand.

Amy didn’t really like to shake hands so she held her drink with both hands and nodded. Rebecca quickly withdrew the hand. She didn’t seem insulted.

“I’m Amy.”

“How do you know the lovely couple?”

“I worked with Karen. I say worked with because I was fired, uh let go.” Rebecca just stood there smiling so Amy added, “Also my girlfriend dumped me and my cat died.” It was all true; she hoped the depressing news would get rid of the weird cheerful petite girl.

“Oh,” Rebecca said. “Sorry to hear all that.”

She seemed sincere but Amy didn’t pursue a conversation. Even so, Rebecca stood there, looking around.

“Michael is my cousin. I came in for the holidays from Oklahoma.”

“That figures,” Amy thought. “She seems Oklahoma.”

“I’ve had such a good time. Saw some shows. Saw the tree. I usually only see that stuff on TV.”

“So it’s your first time in New York?” Amy asked although she didn’t know why she asked. She wasn’t that interested and it only encourage the girl to stay but it did take her out of her own head.

“First time. It’s amazing. There are more people in this room than in my whole county,” she said, giggling.

Amy looked at her. She was very cute, probably in her late 20s, with neat blonde hair and puffy lips. She really did look like a pixie.

They stood silent for a while, taking in the energy as midnight neared. Some desperate people pushed to stand near someone probably so they would be able to get a kiss or hug to say goodbye to 2019 and hello to 2020.

Amy got another drink and so did Rebecca. Amy didn’t know how many Rebecca had before she got there but she did seem a bit woozy. They drank standing next to each other. Amy started to relax for the first time that night.

“They are such a nice couple,” Rebecca said pointing her glass toward Karen and Michael who were in the center of the room, together, preparing for the countdown.

“Yes they are,” Amy agreed.

Rebecca got closer to Amy’s ear, touching it lightly with her lips. It made Amy shudder, in a nervous kind of way.

“My husband was cheating on me,” Rebecca said. “Everyone knew but me.”

“Oh,” Amy said. It served her right to get this earful for sharing all her woes right upfront with a stranger. Tit for tat. “Sorry.”

Amy looked at Rebecca. She was wobbly. “Michael is such a good cousin. He and Karen invited me here to distract me. They even took me to see Hamilton. Everyone at home will be so jealous. Oh, and of course Oklahoma!”

A voice in the middle of the room said, “Everyone. Raise your glasses. Countdown to 2020. Ten, nine…”

Amy looked at Rebecca who was looking at the crowd. Her smile was gone. They both lifted their glasses.

“Five, four, three…”

Amy looked at Rebecca’s small sloped nose. She suddenly felt bad for her.

“Two, one.” There was lots of honking from the noisemakers. Amy realized Rebecca was looking at her and she impulsively kissed her on the lips, not seductively. Just comfortingly.

“It’ll be okay,” Amy said for Rebecca and for herself.

Rebecca smiled a very dimpled smile.

“If you’re ever in Oklahoma, ya know the state, come visit.” They toasted.

Rebecca made her way back into the heart of the crowd, protected by bodies. Amy stood there watching her go waiting to see if she would turn around for one last look. She didn’t.

Amy stood there for a while and watched the people interact. A few of them came up to the bar and stopped to make some small talk. Most of the people were drunk or stoned by now. Amy was slightly buzzed but very aware.

She decided to make her way back home, probably catch a cab rather than trying to get to the subway. She said goodbye to the hosts, kissed them both and thanked them, and went to get her coat. She saw Rebecca in the bedroom, talking to some guy. Rebecca smiled at her and told her it was nice talking to her. Amy nodded and smiled back. Sure she knew she would never go to Oklahoma but as she headed through the now dispersing crowd, she felt a bit better. It was a wonder what a little pixie dust could do.