What is in an empy room?

What is in an empty room? 

By Millenia Todd 

The day was hot, and I just wanted to stretch out in the bed, with no covers on and rest through to the evening. I had been especially lucky today which never happens to me. Earlier this morning I had stopped for a bite to eat at this diner down the road, from my mother's old place. I was just passing through going down memory lane as it were when my car was towed. I saw it moving past the diner window, so I dropped my spoon in the sweet and creamy chocolate sundae I was enjoying and took off after it on foot. I did not get far running down the gravel road because my ankles were no match for the rocks under my feet. A litany of colorful words passed through my lips as I headed back to the almost empty diner and my quickly melting ice cream. I wasn’t' sure what to do as I couldn’t afford both a room for the night and a tow. I considered calling my sister from a payphone, but I was sure she did not want to speak. We never get along it seems and now that mom and dad are gone, we have no reason to at all. Alone with my thoughts I was suddenly brought to reality by an older woman tapping on my shoulder. “Hi. I am Mabel Alister. I couldn’t help notice that you’ve been here at the diner for hours and well, I was wondering if you might need someplace to stay tonight.” It seemed as if my silent prayers were answered, and I took her up on her offer immediately. If I wanted my car back, I really needed to hang on to what I had. I introduced myself, shaking her hand readily. I hoped I would not embarrass her with my eagerness, but I could not contain it. She smiled brightly unbothered by my enthusiasm. “I live just up the road on the left. We will have to walk, but I rather enjoy it.” Her hospitality was much needed on my part. I have been carrying much upon my shoulders these days and was not sure I could take this blow financially. We left the diner and headed on foot less than a mile up the road, to an impressive looking country home. The yard was tended to lovingly and had a lady's touch to it, as red and pink roses were placed about perfectly. We entered the home, and it was just as beautiful as the outside. She showed me to a room at the end of the hall upstairs. “Ms. Alister, back there at the diner I was struggling with my thoughts on what to do next. I don’t know how or what I did to deserve your help, but I am thankful.” Ms. Alister smiled at me. I tried to guess at her age but could not. Barely a wrinkle graced her serene face, even though you could see the years behind her eyes. “Call me Mabel from now on. I feel we will become good friends. Now get settled in and meet me downstairs in an hour. We can sit and you can tell me all about yourself.” I feel like we have met someplace before, but where I know not. It is possible we have crossed paths when I visited mom before she passed. That time was hard enough that I barely recall anything or anyone but loneliness and sadness.  

The sun was headed down as I rose from the bed. A breeze coming through the window was stifling as I made my way downstairs to the open front door. Mabel was on the porch swing with two glasses of lemon iced tea nearby. She smiled immediately and motioned for me to join her. We sat for a bit watching the people pass and then she turned to me. “So, I haven't seen you around here before. Are you just passing through?” That was easy enough to answer. “Yes. My mother use to live here a while ago and I was just revisiting old memories. I didn't get to say goodbye and a crazy notion came over me to see her old place.” I took myself aback saying that aloud. I never talk about my feelings to anyone. My family says I need to accept that she is gone, and I have, but they prefer that my feelings are kept to myself. I began to apologize but then she says, “My mother lost my father when I was sixteen. It was all she could talk about for many years after. She encouraged all who knew and loved him to do the same, even if they didn't want to. She would get them to even when they didn’t know it.” she chuckled. “I’m all ears even if you don’t think you need it honey.” Something inside of me shifted when she said that. I began telling her all about how my father who was an absolute jokester and established businessman, who died from a fall in which he hit his head and that my mother died from cancer ten years after. My parents were older when they were blessed with my sister and then me. My sister did not understand me at all, and she would always seem argumentative. Mabel refilled our drinks and was pondering something when she asked, “Did your sister have a rough time with your mothers passing?” I shook my head “she said that mother and father would be together now and that things would be ok. She made me so upset by this as we were still young, and I needed them both still. I didn’t want to be alone.” “Hun, you aren't alone. You have your sister and now you have me. I am willing to bet on it that you and your sister could patch things up if you could just actually listen to what the other has to say. All relationships whether they be siblings, or couples need hard work and the want to have them flourish. You two need each other more than ever. Only you two can understand and help each other bear the loss you both feel.” What Mabel said is easy enough to see, but my vision has been so clouded. Not being able to say aloud how I feel has left me wandering unable to be comfortable in one place. 

 We continued talking like this on the porch until dinner, then it was time for bed. As I laid in bed I thought of my life as an empty room. Gone were the ones that had filled it and made it a home. Now I had Mable and with her help, hopefully my sister again too. I started to feel warm inside and to see I really was lucky. For the first time in a long time, I let that warm feeling remain in my chest to carry me through the night, and in to the next day.