THE LONELY IMAGE OF A GIRL

The reflection says it a lot. She had never imagined that She was once a called a happy girl. She had a beautiful family of four. My dad, my brother, my mother and me. She recalls all those memories that she had spent through my entire 20 years. She was born with a cute image representing her mother. Over the years, she grew to be a healthy and a beautiful girl. Golden brown eyes, brown curls, short image adorned her features. She was a straight A student during her school her. Though she was bullied, she always managed to put a smile on her face. Nobody knew about her being bullied like that, not even her parents. She tried to talk to her closed ones and yet she couldn't. Some teachers even did that too. But that could not stop her from moving on. School ended and she was happy that she graduated with flying colours.

Over the years, she was once a martial art student excelled in karate. She played from State competitions to the Nationals. She loved playing boxing as well. Her other hobbies included: singing, dancing, writing, reading novels. Then she landed in college for two years. She got in her dream college with science stream. She was always a curious girl. She wanted to know about the other great things lurking beyond our imagination. She fell in love a few times; first it was all a casual one, then her unrequited love and finally the one who she loved wholly. She thought he was the one but yet he wasn't. She felt like an empty walking shell, a burden to everyone. Thought of getting rid of herself from this world once and for all and yet she couldn't do that.

That's what she felt: heartbroken.

But she kept moving on. It was true after all,"Promises are meant to be broken".

Time heals all words, as they say. It did for her though. She regained her strength and proceeded to carry on her path.

But all good things must come to an end. They don't last,right!

The day she had to see through her own eyes. The death of her mother.

Diagnosed with cancer for a few years, a disease so life threatening. She was told only to have a period of three months of her last breaths of the year.

Her father could not even shed tears as it was all just a spur moment. Her brother and she cried violently as the life departed her soul to heaven forever. That's when she felt: sadness, guilt and regret.

Sadness because she wouldn't see her anymore, guilty because she couldn't save her and regret because the blame was to put upon herself. She was long gone.

A turning point in her life that changed her totally.

Her father got violent and abusive towards her commenting her through every way; emotionally, verbally and physically. Her brother joined the team too. He would treat her the same as a master treats his slave.

She would always look at her image in her mirror. She was like an empty shell as she would cry her eyes out shedding with silent tears every day and every night.

As the days went on, years passed, she faced the usual drama always ; she would cry again and repeat the same cycle again.

She felt like a whole burden to her family. Her relatives could not give a damn about her. She was treated the same. Mostly the sadness overwhelmed her that finally led to her depression, an insomniac for several years.

She dealt with every emotion that she felt like she was about to burst like a balloon anytime soon. Her cries could be heard sometimes as she was physically tormented. And sometimes she would cry silently as she recalled her mother. She remembered her mother ; smiling with a heart contently as she would make a joke about it and we would always find it so hilarious. She was jealous sometimes because she would always give importance to her brother more than her as he was the youngest one. She thought her mom loved him more than the eldest one in the house. She felt sadness, she missed the warmth of her embrace as she never got to experience through her birth. But she was a daddy's little girl, she received her father's love. She was contended but she only wanted to have a little taste of her mother's love. She was a sucker for her mother. She remembered her reminiscing her childhood stories as she used to listen to her, her fragrance, her face, her everything. After her death, she would write countless letters to her asking about her well being and saying"I love you" or sometimes" I miss you". One day, she received a reply from her mother in the form of a messenger saying that she felt the same. The daughter was overjoyed. She couldn't restrain her tears. A mother's love was she craved for. As she gazed her reflection on her mirror, she could see; she wasn't the girl she used to be. A broken girl with a broken heart. People changed her because she felt betrayed in all aspects of her life. She gained friends and yet she lost some. With time, she matured with her knowledge reminding everyday not to fall in any bees trap. There she was with the lonely image of a girl.

Life changed her for good. She learned not to carry on false hope, not to expect anything as it leads to nothing, not all friends are our friends, they might be called snakes or selfish people living in the shadows of this cruel and dark world. She learned to love herself most importantly, she was not to please everyone. She was a woman with grace and love. She learned to choose herself, regained her courage and composure. She wasn't the girl she used to be. The girl who was happy to mingle with her closed ones, outgoing and bubbly was now a replacement of the girl with a cold heart.

Through out her life, where she had to face the obstacles, bullied every time, being a victim of abuse and body-shamming labelling as a slut for years, a sexually assaulted student, living in a home of an alcoholic dad; she turned out to be fine. She feels the anger coursing through her veins each time that she hears still being bullied verbally. But she keeps silent because sometimes it's the best answer. And now, she is still thriving out fine and healthy.