A Long Awaited Trip to A Purposeful Life

A Purposeful Life

“Love Your Life” will have a different meaning to different people, it could be taking a leap of the unknown or like me finding a purpose after the loss of my mother in 2005 followed by the sudden and unexpected loss of my husband of only six years four years later in 2009.  Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one would know the roller coaster of emotions that can completely overwhelm you. Once everything had settled down I was finally in the right state of mind to go on with my life and return to work. Sadly, the house had to be sold [due to no Will], leaving me to find a new place to live, after sharing for a while and then house sitting for 6 months it was time I found my own place. Taking it a day at a time had past it’s use by date, it was time to get happy again and get my “mojo” back, no wallowing in self pity for me, but get up dust myself off and start moving forward, which meant getting out of a job that no longer gave me satisfaction, it was a role I had done for over 20 years but had not really enjoyed it, staying only because it was what I knew best and I was reluctant to get out of my comfort zone. So what could I do to get out of the rut? Was the question I asked myself? Time to set some more goals, the first being enrolling in a weekend course to learn more about excel and MYOB. Once completed it was time to start looking for positions where I could put my new skills to use. This wasn’t an easy task and took some time, as it was the usual cliché “you need to have experience”.

Ok, new home found by way of a small 2 bedroom granny flat style home [all I could afford – tick], my course complete [tick] eventually followed by a new job with a tax accountant [tick]. 

At this point, I wouldn’t say my life was finally on the up and up but I was starting to make some head-way in getting it back to some normality. Now, not being a solitary person and having lost a few friends after my husbands passing I was starting to feel a bit lonely, so I joined Lifeline as a phone counsellor which meant that I had to do a course which was one night a week for three months, this I found very rewarding, that I could give back in some small way, however after about a year the roster clashed with my work commitments and had to sadly give it up.

All was not lost, a lady I met suggested I join a group called Quota, a club that was non-profit and raised funds for various charities and met fortnightly at the local Civic Centre, I went along to have a look and speak to the ladies and decided I wanted to be a part of this wonderful group of women who were all there to support and assist different charities, mostly for women and children who had been victims of domestic violence. I felt I had found a PURPOSE, one I could put a lot of love and energy into, especially when it came time to organise different fundraising events, I really enjoyed the camaraderie of these women. But alas, after a couple of years being a part of the club, they had to close the branch.

Around this time, my job with the tax accountant wasn’t exactly going real good, he did on occasions come across as a bit bipolar with quite a short fuse, although I was enjoying the work I was doing despite it being somewhat challenging, it was becoming increasingly difficult to rock up everyday knowing I was going to be treading on eggshells with the boss’s hot and cold attitude towards myself and the junior.

After four years working for a man who displayed volatile behaviour on a regular basis, one morning simply threw my bag at me and told me to leave [even though I knew I had a case against him for unfair dismissal, I left it alone].

A week later through an agency I got a casual position in a manufacturing company which eventually led to fulltime. Six months into the job I was to meet the man I am now married to, I continued to work there for another two years, when one evening my new husband said he wanted me to give up work altogether, that was all well and good but I still wanted to do something, I still wanted a purpose in my life. Yes you guessed it, time for a new goal. While I still continued to work a bit longer I also commenced a correspondence course, certificate IV in Celebrancy, with my love of meeting people and wanting to make a difference somewhere. I retired from working fulltime, completed the course and applied to the attorney generals department to be registered as a marriage celebrant, it was the longest two and half months I had to wait to find out if I had been accepted.

That was three years ago, since then I have had the joy and privilege in joining many couples young and those young at heart in marriage as well as performing baby naming’s and renewal of vows ceremonies. When I am not performing marriages and other ceremonies I like to indulge in my favourite past-time knitting and crocheting, making baby items to donate to charity such as hospital auxiliaries and indulging myself by trying to write that elusive novel.

Do I love my life? The past ten years have taught me that to “love my life” I needed to find and love myself first, and let go of what no longer served a purpose, to learn and to appreciate life and family.

© K Dearing